Cutting the Deck
by cyrusII
Summary: AU. Cards. Naruto's pretty good with cards. Well saying he was pretty good at cards is like saying "Jiraiya is a bit of a perv" or "The Hokage Monument is sorta tall". Good just don't cover it. Wanna find out how good he is? Well, you're just a click away
1. The Idiot's Guide to Sealing

**_Hello fanfiction readers! Welcome to the beginning of my first attempt at an ACTUAL (yes I know, insane) fanfic. _**

**_A few points need to be made._**

**_1. I don't give a fuck about Cannon, it's not rules... just... helpful guidelines._**

**_2. I don't give a fuck about Fannon. I don't care what you think is right/wrong, my_****_ story, my version._**

**_3. I enjoy reviews that are helpful. I won't hate you for saying "Hmm cool." but I will love you for giving an in-depth reason for why it sucks. I mean within reason. If you just hate it cause some silly little reason... well go kill yourself. If there's honest, down to earth reason, tell me. I enjoy constructive criticism. _**

**_4. If your wondering about pairings... well... I don't really care to be honest. This isn't going to be a Naruto falls in love story. That isn't to say he won't get some, just don't expect romance. No Yaoi, sorry ladies (and that one guy who likes it... I think his name is Gary?). It's not my cup of tea._**

**_5. I have a habit of adding weird/obscure references to my writing. See how many you can catch! _**

**_This is just the prologue, and it's not really been edited all that well. Don't expect magic._**

* * *

Cutting the Deck

**Prologue**

**__****The Idiot's Guide to Sealing  
**

* * *

A huff of frustration resonates off the hard wood floors. It was followed by the very quiet sound of something landing lightly on the floor. The originator of the huff's eyes narrowed.

Naruto Uzumaki, 9-years-old to date, was not having the best day. Oh sure he got ramen earlier but today was his birthday after all. While other people got lots of presents, had songs sang to them, and maybe even a cake, Naruto Uzumaki had to follow a rule. The rule was easy to follow, very easy in fact.

Don't leave your apartment.

Naruto Uzumaki might be a bit dense, but he wasn't an idiot. He knew that people seemed… less than happy to see him on his birthday. So, he stayed in side. Naruto Uzumaki, just recently, found the reason he didn't spend most of his day here. His house was boring.

He tried telling the old man that. He chuckled and said something along the lines ofi"Go watch TV, you're a kid don't you like that stuff?"/i Well, not exactly that but close enough.

The old man's face turned sour when Naruto simple pointed at his small, but very broken TV. He didn't know how it had gotten broken; he just came home one day and well...

That's when the old Hokage was struck with brilliance that earned him the nickname "The Professor"

"Say Naruto-kun would you like to play a game?"

Throw in a few spins of the clock hands and you will find Naruto sitting on his bed, the picture of frustration. He grimaced as he missed once again. Kunai were easy, throw them and bam! You got yourself… well… a thrown kunai.

This though, this required a certain amount of finesse that Naruto (subconsciously) found himself lacking. He held up the last object of his ire. Some of the designs were cool sure, but this was ridiculous.

This one had a large symbol on it that arced up to a point, kind of looked like an upside down heart if not for the little part at the bottom. Naruto briefly wondered if they ever made a weapon that looked like it. It was pretty cool.

He tossed it in the general direction where it just so happened to be a Hokage's hat sitting in a chair, surrounded by fifty-one paper cards. He couldn't put on the hat or else he would lose the game, which was torture in of itself. He knew the old man was sneaky though. Probably had someone watching him to make sure he didn't cheat.

Naruto's eyes squinted shut as he made a prayer to whatever god there was out there.

Peeking, he saw the card sail off to the side, completely and utterly missing the hat.

Naruto began a string of curses that made the two ANBU on guard blush from their hidden vantage points.

"Fucking old man!" Naruto made is voice solemn, but with a distinct air of mockery. "Naruto-kun, just flip all the cards in the hat and I'll show you a jutsu, BULLSHIT!"

His curses continued until he picked up all the cards. He looks down at the jumbled mess in his hands.

"I should burn you…"

There was no response to his threat, which just served his anger into getting bigger. With a loud roar of frustration he threw the stack to the side. He spared it the briefest of glances, but did a double take.

Blink…

Blink…

"How…"

A step and a quizzical look. Even the ANBU could admit, the chances of that were slim.

He pulled the card out that had become lodged in a tiny crack in his wall.

Rusty gears began to slowly turn. He stared at the back of the card, showing most likely the biggest display of silence he has ever shown in his short life.

A step back, face showing pure determination.

He snapped his wrist, moving his arm in conjunction. It flew towards the wall…

…and bounced harmlessly off.

"AHHH! It's not hard enough!"

He stormed from the room. The card glided and flipped to the ground, landing face up for the world to see.

Ace of Spades.

* * *

It nagged at him. It was weird in a way. He didn't know exactly why it bothered him. Could be when he thought he had actually made the card cut into the wall he felt like he was hot shit. Truthfully, when he tried to seriously come up with a good reason for it the only one he could think of was "It would be awesome."

Oh sure it was a good reason, but enough for this constant part of him to be pondering it? He still pranked, he still stuffed himself with ramen and most of all he still pissed of Iruka-sensei. He just had that always at the back of his head pounding a steady beat and proclaiming "Pay attention to me!"

He was doing the latter at the moment, though it wasn't really his fault those masked-facey-what-ever-their-name-is guys are so boring to hear about. He wanted to say they were called… Baboons? No that didn't sound right. Giving the equivalent of a mental shrug he let his eyes droop once again. It was at this point he was catching every other phrase.

Something about swords (shiny), something about chakra hardened metal (whatever that is) and then something having to do with seals (Isn't that an animal in some really cold place?)… wait…

"WHAT!?"

"Idiot sit down!" a feminine voice carried over the crowd eliciting a small laugh. Not that Naruto heard any of that he was too focused on what Iruka just said.

"What did you just say Iruka-sensei?"

"ANBU class swords?" Iruka couldn't do much than respond. Naruto didn't usually wake up unless he screamed or said something about a spilled ramen. To Iruka, this might as well have been the second coming of the Yondaime.

"After that…"

"Seals?"

"BEFORE THAT!"

"Chakra hardened metal?"

"YEA YEA! How do you do that?"

Iruka sighed. It was good that he was asking questions, but what could posses him to want to know about how ANBU-Class Swords are made? Then again maybe he didn't want to know. Naruto and a sword… those two shouldn't ever be left alone together. Iruka's took a calming breath…

"MAYBE IF YOU STAYED AWAKE YOU WOULD ACTUALLY HEAR WHAT WAS SAID!" If Iruka was more observant at that moment he would notice that his voice just pushed several front row students on the back two legs of their chairs.

Our blond-haired hooligan cringed back a second before sending Iruka his most withering glare… which was a complete failure in all regards.

"… As I was saying," Iruka's composure was rebuilding. "ANBU class swords are not actually chakra blades in a sense. They are chakra enriched when being molded and for several hours after words that harden them to th-"

"YEA but how do they do that!?"

Iruka's eye developed a twitch. Maybe an inquisitive Naruto wasn't that great.

"I-was-getting-to-that-" Iruka had only released Killer Intent a few times and even though he was radiating with enough at the moment to make most Chuunin gulp and back away, Naruto just stared at him in rapt attention, eyes shining with… hope?

He could only sigh again. "A complex seal array is used to funnel a steady amount of chakra over the course of several hours to the point where the blade is hardened enough to cut through most other met.."

Naruto suddenly found a new line of thoughts nagging at him and it went sorta like..

"Seals seals seals, hard, seals, seals harden. Need seals…

…seals."

Yea, sorta like that. Sorta.

* * *

'I'm getting too old for this shit.'

A hand rubbed a forehead above a furrowed brow, as if trying to force the annoyance before him away through sheer will.

"I should burn you…"

There was no response to his threat, which just served to make his annoyance bigger.

A sigh. 'What I wouldn't give for even some distraction right now from paperwork."

Speaking of the devil.

"OLD MAN!"

"YOU CAN'T GO IN THERE!"

"AS IF!"

Sarutobi closed his eyes and said a small thanks to whatever deity heard his unspoken prayer. A moment later an orange blur shot through the doors, followed by a distraught secretary yelling, "YOU HAVE TO HAVE AN APPOINTMENT!"

"OLD MAN! I need your help!" As the secretary grappled with the young blonde boy the 3rd Hokage of the Village Hidden in the Leaves smirked.

The black-haired women nearly had the boy in a head hold before he decided to intervene, "Yomiko-chan, it's quite alright."

The women scowled from behind the boy's hand which was doing its best to keep the 'crazy lady' from throttling him. She stood abruptly, pushed her thick-rim black glasses up with a huff, and stormed out of the office. Sarutobi briefly wondered why the girl never got ninja training as several Chuunin parted like the Red Seas to let her get back to her desk.

"Naruto-kun, what brings you here?" Naruto rounded on him, having just given a rude gesture and a stuck out tongue to the women.

He blinked for a few seconds, trying to recollect what did bring him here. His face lit up and Sarutobi thought he could see the light bulb hovering over his head.

"Seals old man! I need seals, lots of seals!"

Sarutobi's eyes narrowed for a second. What had brought this about?

"If I may, what do you need seals for?"

"To make stuff hard!"

Sarutobi decided not to comment on that.

'Sealing arts are rather obscure,' the wizened old man began to go into deep thought. Weighing the pros and cons of showing Naruto a few sealing methods. He was no expert by far, the Nidaime probably put it best.

"The art that is sealing is not some fancy jutsu that can be practiced to perfection. It's not like Taijutsu that you can beat into someone. If there was a ninja art related to it, it would be Genjutsu. Both require an imagination and even then it's not a right fit. Oh sure, you could learn how to draw hundreds, thousands, MILLIONS of seals. You wouldn't be a master though, not even close. A true master of sealing though doesn't memorize seals. He knows them, like an old friend that he constantly question. Your good monkey, but your too linear."

"…AN! OLD MAN! OLD MAN!"

Said 'Old Man' was brought out of his little flashback. The boy was standing on the balls of his feet waving his hands wildly.

'I guess it couldn't hurt to distract him,' a grin spread across a wrinkled face. ' Not to mention it couldn't hurt if he understood the seal that is bound on him.'

The only problem was how. He was just an academy student after all, who would teach him? Couldn't just give a tutor who's good with seals without raising eyebrows. Then again… who said he needed a teacher exactly? He just needed to know the basics for now and Sarutobi just so happened to have the perfect little thing for that.

His chair rolled back as he stood and began searching on a small bookcase that all four Hokages had added to. One would think that it would be a variable fountain of ninja knowledge…

… In truth it held a lot of poetry, plays (The 4th had at one time dreamed of starting his own Kabuki theater), cook books (The Shodaime brought the Akimichi into the village by baking them a 3 story tall cake), the occasional book on jutsus, but last (and most certainly not least, not by a long shot) smut.

There was only one book that interested the 3rd now though.

"Ah HA!" He pulled a rather old book. It looked as plain as they came and was pretty rough. It looked as though someone had at one point tried to stab it with a kunai and failed, every third page was at one point dog-eared, and the front was covered in a giant doodle displaying a man in a black cape fighting someone that looked remotely like a mime with green hair. It also looked like several pages were torn out and added.

Above said doodle there were five words. Under fore-mentioned doodle were two more words.

When given the book, a one Naruto Uzumaki took his hand at pronouncing the words that had surrounded the battling pair.

"An Idiot's Guide to Sealing?" Naruto briefly wondered if he should be offended but dismissed it just as fast. As much as he hated reading, if this could help him it would be awesome.

"By R…r…Ro…Rodf?" He pronounced the foreign word and looked up at the old man for confirmation that he said it right. A nod and a smirk.

"Naruto-kun you need to understand something about that book." The boy nearly stood at attention and saluted.

"That book has been in the possession of several people over the years, most notably the Nidaime." Naruto's eyes put saucers to shame. "The Nidaime was the most proficient Seal Master that Konoha has ever produced and this is the book he started out learning it from." Naruto was holding the book with reverie that fangirls could only hope to attain.

At some point Naruto realized seals weren't just some animal that lived where it was really cold.

"…and your just…" He gulped down the nervousness that had rose up in his throat. " Giving this to me?"

"More like a loan Naruto-kun," This was like a treat for the old Hokage. A cautious Uzumaki? Unheard of.

"As you can see it's rather old, and several owners over the years have added in…" He could have said insane ideas, theories, and tips. Many of which went over his head. There was even another language in some parts that nobody could read. "…Help."

"I'm going to trust you with this Naruto." He dropped the –kun to relate the seriousness of that statement. This of course went right over Naruto's head who was looking at the book like it was a free bowl of ramen.

He let out a sigh. It forgot for a second how forward he needed to be.

"Naruto." He drew the boy's attention. "Make sure to start from the beginning and keep the book safe." His best bet for understanding what he was reading was starting from the beginning after all.

A rather furious session of nodding and a "Thanks jiji! I will!" later and Naruto was stepping out of the Hokage's office. He cracked the book and began to read the first page which consisted of only two words but had several more doodles.

The first two words of "An Idiot's Guide to Sealing" were bolded, large and underlined several times.

"Don't panic? Why would I panic?"

* * *

**____****Author's Notes**

**____****Yes I know your gonna say "The Nidaime wasn't a seal master! The 4th was!" Well so fucking what? I don't care, my story. I like the Nidaime and Shodaime, they don't get enough depth. You don't really think the Nidaime was just good with some Suiton did you? **

**____**** Yes, there are gonna be a few Hitchhicker allusions in this. I just got done with the 3rd, so I can't help myself.**

**____**** Chapter 1 should be out... who knows... **


	2. Headaches

**_Okie dokie! I finished this chapter before I posted the prologue so that's why your getting such a quick update. _**

**_Don't expect a very regular schedule. I can't promise you that. Unless I say "I abandon this story" don't assume. _**

**_Enjoy the chapter... well... enjoy if you enjoy this kind of thing. If not... who cares?_**

**_Added an Omake at the end. Just a short little thing I wrote because I thought it was funny._**

* * *

Cutting the Deck

_Chapter 1_

**_Headaches_**

* * *

If one were to describe the feelings coursing through Training Ground #42 they would probably say 'An unadulterated, wiggling mass of excitement'. That person might have led you to believe there was a crowd of people waiting for something truly awe inspiring.

That person would have led you to believe wrong. There was only one pair of feet touching Training Ground #42 and two sets of eyes on it.

It took every fiber in a just newly turned 10-year-old Naruto's body to keep his hand from shaking. He held a single card (Suicide King) between his index and pointer finger of his right hand. This card was one of a kind. Well it had to be seeing as Naruto had just gotten done putting the seals on it an hour ago.

He didn't want to ruin his apartment but the Hokage had informed him the day before that this training ground would just so happen to be empty if he was up for testing his 'Trump Card' as the Old Man had dubbed it.

In the entirety of it yesterday was #2 in Naruto's Top Ten Birthdays. A decent sized scroll and a deck of cards with blank white backs.

Whether or not the scroll was a birthday present is arguable as the Old Man gave it up after losing his pocket change for the night to Naruto who astoundingly pulled off 3 Straights, 3 Full House, 2 Flushes, and a Royal Flush in only 10 games. The other, Sarutobi cheated his ass off as only a Hokage could. It wouldn't do well for Naruto to actually be able to keep the Hokage's hat for any large amount of time.

It wasn't much by any means (some kids would probably throw a fit) but to Naruto it was 'as if a Goddess had just flashed him her twins'. That was of course an analogy the aging Hokage had used that Naruto didn't exactly hear.

The scroll hadn't come into his possession yet, but the a few things were mentioned. It was on a fairly unexplored theory that a Kumo seal master has been working on for the past two years. He didn't say exactly was it was about, but that our whiskered vessel would find it entertaining.

The rest deck is left unmarked so far, but if this little test works right… well that will change.

The card's seals weren't horribly complex but for someone working at the art for year now it was a pretty nice milestone. The seals all together consisted of…

2 hardening blood-seals. Regular hardening seals Naruto had found just crumbled the card up. They just hardened though, so while good for deflecting another weapon they didn't have enough power behind them to actually pierce much.

3 small (as in very) gravity seals. The hardening blood-seal's only problem was fixed with these. What use was a thrown weapon if you couldn't get enough momentum? They weren't exactly gravity seals (those were supposedly impossible) but they worked on principle of increasing the items weight by some variable.

It could be better, Naruto knew it on some level but at the moment these were what he was working with.

The wind played jovially with his hair as he took a breath to calm his nerves (He had gotten used to this, couldn't draw seals if you were jittery).

A little bit of chakra and he felt the card become almost as heavy as Kunai. A grin and a skillful flick born from weeks of practice found our Suicide King careening through the air. It was on a collision course with a tree.

The grin didn't fade as the card buried itself, a half having just sliced cleanly into the tree.

* * *

A single eye brow rose at attention.

_'Well… not unexpected…'_ Sarutobi mused over his _All-Seeing-Sphere 4000_.

It was truly not unexpected, but that didn't make it any less intriguing.

_'Not yet in puberty but already his chakra is being aligned, rare but not unheard of.'_

If this old geezer could do anything right it was figure out a puzzle. He seriously doubted that anyone (with the possible exception of his estranged son) would be able to throw that card with the same power and skill level and get such results.

It was funny in a way. If Naruto's chakra control wasn't so abysmal he wouldn't have overpowered the card with chakra and given it the greater piercing effect.

_'He's a long way from consciously using wind to great effect but everyone's chakra carries certain… under currents.'_

Sarutobi chuckled to himself at a thought before admitting it out loud. "To think, he's already has more originality than ninja's double his age."

A quick glance to his left where a scroll lay on his desk.

"I wonder what he will do with you."

The scroll wasn't easy to understand for many grounded seal masters. They were too embedded in their ideals and beliefs. Naruto though, he might just get the hang of _"Sealing Ninjutsu: The Unexplored Possibilities." _

Understanding (as in actually understanding, not just copying) sealing was sink or swim. Naruto was swimming. Hell, he was doing back strokes for all intensive purposes. He may have been The Joker when it came to many things but seals? In sealing Naruto is the Ace, the Ace of Spades no less.

* * *

Maybe it was his little side-obsession with the things but Naruto Uzumaki could honestly say that aside from a bowl of miso, shuffling cards was just straight out relaxing.

Shuffling cards was to him like smoking to the old man. Though his eyes didn't get hazy and he didn't smile nearly as much as when the old man was puffing on the pipe but shuffling cards hard turned into a nervous habit of sorts that helped him wind down.

Had a bad day? Shuffle cards.

Got a test? Shuffle cards.

Ran out of ramen (It happened once)? Shuffling cards kept him from crying himself to sleep that night.

This was a normal deck in his hands at the moment as his little creation was sitting safely in his weapon pouch. He surprised the Hokage with how hush-hush he had been about his little deck of tricks. When queried, Naruto thought long and hard and said one of his most intellectual statements to date,

_"A good Hokage… they would have a few trump cards I think."_

Sarutobi could do nothing but whole heartily agree. The wizened Hokage would celebrate the day he gave the book to Naruto with a cup of his good sake every year till his death. Who knows what might have happened if he didn't? Naruto might have had learned nothing useful till after he became a Genin, which was just absurd.

Naruto was currently freaking out the majority of his class on this irregularly hot day in November. That wasn't why he was shuffling cards (with surprising speed a few noted) though. It also wasn't the reason he was tittering on the back two legs of his chair, feet up on the desk, and staring at the ceiling quietly. Though the last reason might be why the class was unnerved at the moment.

Last time Naruto was the combination of _'Quiet'_ and _'Awake'_ an entire classroom was filled with vibrant orange paint. Needless to say, coming in after a short trip to a training ground, the class wasn't happy when all their cloths were dyed in a torrent of orange. The only reason he didn't get a beat down at that moment was… well… frankly you try finding Naruto Uzumaki in a sea of orange.

A prank wasn't the topic of today's brain storm though. It was more of a dilemma if anything.

He fans a hand full of cards out and began waving them on him. It was freakishly hot.

_'Cash.'_

Naruto's problem was money. Milk and ramen were pretty cheap all in of themselves. That stacked on everything else though? He had rent to pay, cloths to replace, ninja gear nearly constantly needing replacement, and equipment for sealing.

The first step is looking at possible solutions, as Iruka-sensei had said one day. His possible solutions to his money troubles include:

**1.**Pranking  
**2.**Ninja Stuff  
**3.**Sealing  
**4.**Err… catching cats?

The last one was already thrown out the window, no self respecting Ninja would do that. Sealing was less than ideal. People might wonder, and he rather liked keeping the book to himself.

Could one prank for money? Maybe a business based on petty revenge would be possible. He wasn't technically a ninja yet, so people might not like him running around doing 'Ninja stuff'.

He scowled. He basically had nothing he could do well enough to earn money. He began waving a bit harder. He let out a breath and greedily took back in the cool air. Something was bothering him.

It was at the fringe of his mind. It tapped it's foot impatiently waiting for him. Waiting for him to what reason, he couldn't say. He glanced at his five-card-fan and frowned. The thing, it spiked a moment. As if…

He twisted his hand till he found himself look at the face of the five cards.

_'Jack, King, Ace, Queen, and 10. All red hearts too.'_ he frowned. _'Doesn't that mean something?'_

And lightning struck. Naruto's eyes widened and he moved a little bit too much and…

**"UH OH!" **

CRACK!

Thump!

Laughter filled the room as Naruto nursed the sore spot on the back of his head.

"Ow… ow… ow …ow."

As he stood up, an eraser flew towards his head. It smacked him on the forehead dispersing dust. He looked down, through the haze, at Iruka. A vein was nearly popping out on his forehead and his breathing was rather erratic.

"What was that for!?" was Naruto's first coherent thought.

"For cursing and not using common sense! Maybe," he stressed the_ 'Maybe'_. "If you paid attention and didn't rock back on your chair you wouldn't fall and break your neck!"

Iruka blinked as projectile came and leaned his head out of its path, only for another one to smack right into his forehead protector. The cards floated to the ground, displaying 'The Joker' and a face card with one eye showing. Iruka felt one of his eyes twitch as Naruto's voice called over the classroom.

"Gotcha!"

Iruka picked up the card with Chuunin-level speed and slung it back at the offending blonde. It puttered out two feet from him and took it's time reaching the floor. The teacher found his anger about to simmer over the edges of his self control.

Naruto might have noticed this if he wasn't picking up the rest of his cards. He grinned as they all lay back in his hand. He drew five cards and stared at them, as if trying to pry into their secrets. His face lite up with a foxy grin and his eyes gleamed mischievously.

_'Straight flush.'_

These cards, did they never cease to be awesome?

**

* * *

Some unspecific amount of time later

* * *

**

Neji Hyuuga smirked. He didn't smile, that would be very unworthy of his status. He was fairly happy though. He knew he was going to be Rookie of the Year. It was fate after all.

He had just passed his exam with flying colors and even though the pitiful exam was nothing to be smug about, he did have that air around him. Then again, it was always there.

Daitai-sensei called a name, but something poked Neji's attention to what was said. The teacher hadn't said a strange name, it was more in the manner it was said.

Why did the teacher say the name "Naruto Uzumaki" with so much…doubt? Anger?

… **Fear?**

The blonde-haired boy who stepped down the rows grinning like he was in on some joke no one else seemed to get. The boy was fanning out three cards in his hand. Fan out, fan together, fan out, fan together. A constant cycle.

The boy was wholly unfamiliar to the Hyuuga prodigy, from the unzipped orange jacket with a spiral on the back to the black, semi-baggy pants. His sleeves were wide and Neji's eyes widened.

_'A hidden weapon?'_ While hidden weapons meant very little to Hyuugas, to other ninjas though they could be very deadly. A hidden weapon had potential for a surprise blow that could decide the fight.

Neji activated his Byakugan covertly as the teacher asked the newcomer, "Umm… three Bunshin."

The man seemed to sweat a moment before blurting out "Please!"

The soon-to-be Rookie of the Year quirked an noble eyebrow.

_'Cards up his sleeve?'_ Two full decks of cards were in his weapon pouch. He had several cards up both of his sleeves though, they seemed to have some deployment mechanism he didn't regonize. He would have continued his inspection had Naruto not suddenly blazed a large amount of chakra into the three cards in his hand.

_'That's far too much just for three Bunshin! Either he is making an insane amount or his chakra control is abysmal.'_ Something bothered Neji as the cards fell to the floor in a neat row with a single flick of the blond boy's wrist. He wasn't any Ninjutsu expert by far, but didn't you need hand seals to do any jutsus?

Neji was proven wrong as a small torrent of chakra (only visible to him) came out of the edges of the cards (they floated slightly) and dissipated into the air. A Bunshin now stood on each card.

_'That was far too much for a simple Bunshin.'_

As Naruto picked up his head band with a grin, Neji realized he was indeed proven wrong. He scowled at this thought. He wasn't infallible but his memory like all Hyuuga's was good, insanely so. You need hand-seals to do Ninjutsu, it had been nearly beaten into everyone's head. The blonde boy just killed that believe like a Jyuuken strike to face.

_'What does fate have in store for you, Naruto Uzumaki?'_

* * *

The hot water washed away any little bits of pain he might have been feeling at the moment. That didn't do anything to relieve the feeling of dread though. He knew very well that he could die at any moment.

_'Calm calm calm calm.' _He repeated the mantra over and over. _'Oh man! you're screwed... how did this happen!?'_

* * *

It all started rather simply with Naruto getting booted out of a Casino because he wasn't the proper age. Two months later a busty blonde teenage girl with some loose cash showed up at the casino **'The Red Koi'**. It laid beside a serene lake and a multitude of fish swam in the clear waters, mostly notably a large amount of red koi. Coincidences are fun.

The young blonde teenager began to clean the casino out. It's not every day you see some green-behind the ears, ditsy girl clean out a table. The proprietor (a women with a _fun_ sense of humor named Sumairu) believed she made a smart decision when she offered the girl a job.

This was of course after the girl knocked out two security guards who tried to throw her out. Suma-chan did pride herself on giving girls who just got to Konoha a good job.

That's how the alleged young, aspiring ramen chef Rei (short for Reifujina) Tsuki found her way to be a card dealer at **'The Red Koi'**.

At a certain point people began to think the name was a bit too appropriate. The girl didn't lose.

When people say _"The house always wins"_ they had usually made a visit to Rei's table at some point in their lifetime.

She never really understood why people kept coming just to lose their money. Then again she didn't know what a bra was for either. As much, she figured she didn't really need one.

She had become friendly with the show girls at the Koi. Well they weren't exactly show girls. More of a cross between Geisha and strippers… if that makes any sense.

Rei always became stiff and blushed when she was in the back rooms where they dressed but other than that she was a vibrant little beacon of good will. Never a cruel word said and a source of innocent, unbiased judgment. Though sometimes she would say something that could be misinterpreted... in several ways.

Whenever an idiot would say with the subtly of a bull something like, _"Hey ladies, how bout I show you a trick?"_ Rei would always become excited and show him a few card tricks of her own.

Some of the girls began to say things like _"It's like she's never been hit on before!"_ and others would respond _"With a rack like, impossible!"_ The boss would then laugh her ass off, nobody knew why exactly.

It came as quite a shock when the sweet, if a tad outspoken, girl up and announced to them she was quitting.

_"Moving on to other things!"_ she said.

Well it was only natural the girls would want to give her a little going away party. The boss even tagged along and found some way to drag the girl in question along, more than likely against her will.

No one noticed Suma-chan's little devious smirk… except Rei or should we say…

* * *

…Naruto Uzumaki sighed while under his original technique.

"Oh yea." The chattering stopped as he said in his at-the-moment feminine voice out loud.

A rather abrasive brunette hollered out, "Holy hell! It speaks!"

A chorus of giggles answered.

"Well Rei-chan are you having fun yet?" An elegant voice came from the he-now-she's right. Naruto didn't know think that he was breaking many well known boundaries when his Oiroke no Jutsu blushed accordingly.

To his (her to everyone else) right sat the owner of **'The Red Kio'** thusly dubbed by everyone (as in everyone everyone) 'Suma-chan'. He was certainly glad the steam hid his blush.

The first man that ever became so obvious that they were nearly feeling Rei up got both an arm and a leg broken along with a cracked collar bone.

The first women was 'Suma-chan' and Naruto fainted. His sealed Jutsu broke and Suma-chan was now privy to the fact that a 10-year-old boy was one of the most well endowed 18-year-olds to ever walk the streets of Konoha. She found this absolutely hilarious and Naruto? He found a way to keep the seal active even if he lost consciousness.

She kept hush-hush about it, but she couldn't stop herself from laughing at his antics. She never did tell him what a bra was for.

"Tons boss." Was the outside response. The inside went something like _'IF I FREAKING KNEW I WAS GOING TO BE SITTING IN A HOT SPRING FILLED WITH NAKED WOMEN I WOULD BE A BIT BETTER OFF!'_ He didn't think he needed something this nerve wracking the day before he was assigned his Genin team.

Naruto had seen a pervert get beaten once. He didn't like the idea of for some unknown reason the Jutsu dropping and him being beaten into within an inch of his life.

"Why that's interesting, we haven't even gotten to the fun part yet."

There was a small chorus of "What?

**

* * *

Elsewhere

* * *

**

"..Excuse me?" A clearly female monotone, but not without its hint of surprise, voice asked.

"You are here by relieved of your ANBU duties." A second voice, wise with old age. It was clearly male and he seemed to have repeated himself.

Eye's blinked rapidly behind a porcelain mask.

"I don't believe I understand fully, Hokage-sama."

"I'm breaking a bit of tradition here, so please forgive me."

A curt nod and the Hokage brought a folder into plain sight and handed it to the hooded ANBU. She leafed through it, a small scowl growing under the mask. If she knew the Hokage has skills to sense what was under even the most well made masks (physical and non) she probably wouldn't have.

"May I speak freely, Hokage-sama?"

"Go ahead."

"I can see potential in each of them, but I have to question why me of all people?" Her tone basically said _'I know what you're playing at'._

The Hokage didn't bite. "It's quite simple. You're going to be training ANBU."

The Hokage knew that an eye brow just quirked under the mask and his iron will went to work keeping himself from grinning.

"All three of them are obvious candidates for ANBU, be it that it would suit them or that they have sought after skills."

"I see." She did see, but then again she knew he had ulterior motives. She had some ideas. They were all wrong funnily enough, well for the most part.

"Yes, it's a small idea I've been bouncing around for a little while. I just recently decided to act upon it, so please accept my apologies for not informing you sooner."

"And sir, why me? There are others. Kakashi-dono is…"

"Now now, don't doubt yourself! Eight years of ANBU duties, the last two spent as Vice-Captain. You were on your way to Captain. Eight years is pretty impressive for any ninja."

The Hokage decided to play the card he had been holding.

"Why with something like this under your belt, you would be a candidate ANBU Commander," He smiled warmly. "I'd recommend you myself."

A long moment of contemplation followed. She knew she was being bribed in-a-fashion and her ultimate goal was ANBU Commander though. The Hokage wasn't above manipulation but he was honorable.

"As you wish, Hokage-sama"

The now Ex-ANBU turned and made to leave before a tapping sound reached her. She turned to a chuckling Hokage who was tapping on his desk. A lesser trained women would have blushed at the blunder.

She strode calmly back and placed the mask on the table. The Hokage picked it up.

He round his chair on the window as the un-masked women paused.

"Hokage-sama, don't you believe Uzumaki-san would be a bit…" She paused, searching for the right phrasing.

"Out of his element?"

A chuckled response was the immediate answer while he stared at the Neko Mask in his hands. He didn't even turn around.

"Quite the contrary, he'll feel right at home." She missed his perverse smirk.

* * *

Naruto found himself frowning as he walked through a district near his apartment. Suma-chan had visited him before, if only to tease him and see how one of her favorite 'girls' was doing.

If Naruto had been better informed he would have realized that they were currently walking through the Red Light District. His now very female arms were locked with two other girls in a decidedly _"Girls out on the town"_ fashion.

His feeling of dread had been rising steadily as soon as they had left the hot spring. This night was trouble.

If Naruto was well versed in playwrights from the ancient world he might have concluded he felt _'as if a sword was hanging just above his neck'._

Suma-chan was an unnerving person at best and at worse she was a royal bitch. Her words, thought not always, seemed to be covered in a hint of deviousness that not many people would catch. She always had other motives though. ALWAYS.

She meant no harm _really_. In some ways she was a prankster, just a very subtle one. She loved her casino but she loved to mess with people even more. Maybe a little sashay of the hips or perhaps creating an awkward situation that always ended with a small chuckle year later between the victims.

She had a hell of a poker face to and she wasn't above showing a little under-the-table-affection to mess with some of the stone-faced men. Strictly speaking though, she was only attracted to the fairer sex. That isn't to say she didn't enjoy watching a man squirm in her palm.

Helped she was a smoking hot vixen. Her moonless-midnight hair was always tied up in a wild ponytail with several exquisite sticks in it. Of course everything she wears was exquisite. The loose kimono she wore now was probably worth more than what Naruto pays for 6 months rent. Not that she even cared if it was ruined, money was a means not end after all.

_If I die early,'_ thought Naruto in all too much seriousness. _'It's her fault.' _

He was surprisingly shy in the fact that he loved the attention. It was weird that little moments of acceptance (even if it wasn't technically of him, just at him. Or whatever. You get the point) made him feel better than many of his pranks combined.

"And there it is ladies." The same elegant voice walked through Naruto's thoughts and dragged his attention out.

His female face adopted a confused expression.

"The Blue Oyster?"

* * *

"That's it I'm gonna fucking kill him!"

"Please calm down. I'm sure he will have an acceptable reason."

"And if he doesn't?"

"Well, we will have to educate our new team mate."

"Ooo now you're talkin my language!"

_'He's just like Kakashi-dono. This will not do.'_

* * *

Tick. **Pain.**

Foggy foggy foggy.

Tick. **Pain.**

Clearer... slowly.

Tick. **Pain.**

His… head… was… _pounding._

Tick. **Pain.**

No pounding wasn't the right word, in fact a single word couldn't be used in this instance.

It was more comparable to someone trying to make their way out of your skull with just a lemon and a bar of gold.  
Tick. **Pain.**

The bed was comfortable as hell today though. Come to think of it, why was it so much… better. His legs were strangely warm, even though he didn't think he was covered up. Come to think of it, his legs were still clothed.

The whole experience, except for the infernal ticking was quite relaxing. Especially the breath on his naked breasts.

_Wait…_

Eyes opened wide in a millisecond. Mistake mistake! Big mistake! Who turned the sun on this early?

He peeked down at the _(thankfully)_ clothed women laying askew over his _(thankfully)_ clothed female self. Well, his jacked and shirt was missing but his pants were still on. He didn't think much of it, he wasn't really a girl so… it didn't count. Right?

He did gulp though. He was half naked in a bed with a women much older than him, even if he looked like a women at the moment this couldn't end well. This was a bit much for an under-aged boy. If she woke up...

Naruto blinked, that helped the pain a little bit but...

...Something tickled at the back of his mind but the infuriating ticking kept going and going. He was ready to throw a whole deck of cards at it when a thought struck him.

_'What's it mean again when the small hand-thingies on the 10?' _

…

**"CRAP!"** He instantly regretted that as the person with the lemon and gold bar began to strike more furiously.

A flurry of motion found a very surprised brunette on the cold floor and a shirtless now-male Naruto frantically searching for his weapon pouch.

His mind blocked out most sights, sounds and other such troubling things like the girl looking bewildered at him. It was understandable, waking up and finding out you're a shotacon isn't something that happens every day.

He found his weapon pouch, thankfully filled, and leapt from his window at speeds that not many ninja could hope to ever attain.

He wouldn't realize till later his grave error.

Well as much as an error can be of missing a half naked show girl and your former boss passed out on your couch in an embrace that would leave men four times his senior on the floor with a perverted grin.

* * *

The sun was bright and climbing its way up to its routine peek.

And Naruto Uzumaki was cursing its very existence. He didn't know he was in middle of a hangover of massive proportions. He just knew that whatever was happening was horrible, absolutely horrible.

He tried to recall what happened after he walked into the _"Blue…"_ something. He definitively remembered the word Blue.

The rest was a massive blur but the occasional word or phrase would pop up. Something about a _"Pan something-or-other Blaster"_, didn't sound exactly right.

The strangest part though was the fact that he was glad he didn't remember most of the night. This did not bode well.

He jumped from building to building, making his way through the damnitable sunlight to the Ninja Academy.

The sounds of people going about their day left him feeling strangely homicidal as his head was being pried in two . That wouldn't do for a ninja of Konoha to go around killing civilians though.

He had finally made it to the Academy and nearly blew the doors of the hinges. He slid through the halls dodging confused Chuunin left and right.

"GANG WAY!" He yelled at a group of first years coming out of class. They all managed to jump out of the way.

He missed the blushes from the females when they saw his shirtless state.

He skidded to a stop in front of the room and wrenched the door open.

The first thing he saw was a fist on a pathway to his face.

"Bout time you showed up you little fuck!" a very gruff voice, clearly female though, all but shouted. His head had seen better days.

All he saw when he opened his eyes was red.

Red hair and a red face. Whether from a blush or rage he didn't know.

* * *

_**  
AN: **_

_**HA! Little bit of a cliffy there, eh?**_

_** No that's not Tayuya, and yes your probably know the Sensei. The other two you will get to know after I am done with chapter Two.**_

_**Let me know how it is.**_

_**OMAKE **_

* * *

Naruto realized something. At best, he was eccentric. At worse, he was utterly and totally batshit crazy.

While he hadn't yet found a way to properly carry out his plans. The way ANBU hardened their swords was useless. It was attuned to steel, not paper like he wanted.

That wasn't the current proprietor of his attention at the moment though. He was beginning to have doubts about the semi-complex seal array that he was adding the last line to.

Naruto had realized something else as well. The book was just like him at its best and worse. For instance, an entire page that claimed that beyond a brush and your own imagination that a towel was the most important tool for any budding sealster (a term from the book) at the time seemed rather… insane.

Now though, he could see the uses. Sweating from a lot of seal crafting? Wipe that brow with a towel so it doesn't smudge. Seal crafting in an unfavorable environment? Make an impromptu tent to protect your precious work of art from the harsh weather.

This thing below his feet though. It was somewhere between _"What the hell?"_ and **"BRILLIANT!"**. It was his curiosity in the end that leads him to attempting it. It was just a small suggestion, maybe even a joke from a more humorful previous owner. It was a rag tag of several seals that THEORTICALLY should be safe.

Honestly there were four possible outcomes to this:

** 1.**The desired effect  
** 2.**Turning his floor into a giant explosive note (He mentally noted to investigate this possibility later)  
** 3.**Burn a giant hole in his floor  
** 4.**Summon a physical manifestation of a minor deity of fire that would wreck everything in a quarter-mile radius.

The last one was highly unlikely, but if he understood the guys cramped side-note correctly…

"Well," he put on a brave face for non-existent troops. "Let's give it a shot!"

He raised the test subject. He inspected it slowly for tears. It wouldn't do well for it to… do something unexpected. Nodding solemnly, careful to not mess up the array, he placed it in the middle.

Closing his eyes for a second he mumbled out, "Please don't kill me". More to himself than anything.

A calming breath and he channeled his chakra (which he recently found out was not something that could be placed into ramen) into the edges of the seal.

A pop…

Followed by several more until…

**Boom!**

"Well… not exactly what I wanted." He notice a piece that had slid under him.

Standing up, he popped it into his mouth and blanched. It badly needed salt.

"I guess I should go buy salt…"

He took an inspecting glance at the popcorn covered room.

"… and a broom."

This experiment would later lead to a maneuver named, rather appropriately, "Death by House of Cards".

* * *

**_Just some little snippet I wrote back when I first start writing the idea. I thought it was rather hilarious. If you don't get it... well... get help? _**


	3. You can spell Team without Sanity

_**My my my. Hello there! Here is the second chapter to the (not-so) critically acclaimed "Cutting the Deck".**_

_**Remember to tell me what you like and what you don't like. How am I suppose to get better if I don't know what sucks? Especially my own personal characters. Within reason. I don't care if you "Don't like OCs". If you give a good solid reason why they seem unreal or you don't like them feel free. That's not an invitation to write a paragraph on why "OC's are gay". Well constructed opinions are welcome. **_

_** I'm gonna go ahead and warn you... this chapter is very crackish. I see no reason to be serious most of the time. I just can't write something without a decent amount of crack.**_

_** Disclaimer: I OWNZ NOTHINZ  
**_

* * *

Cutting the Deck

**Chapter 2**

_**"You can spell Team without Sanity" **_

* * *

She began to massage the bridge of her nose. She really should step in. 

The teams beginning had been rough at best. The red headed girl had an impressive set of lungs and she informed her team of this, _repeatedly_.

She was currently verbally abusing the Uzumaki boy with some rather colorful use of language. This seemed to put the boy in immeasurable amounts of pain.

It didn't stop with just words though.

The next second, a vicious shaking was added along with her tirade. This apparently amplified his pain to the point where he passed out.

"AND FOR ANOTHER THI-"

"Aya-san, please."

It was weird how the much quieter of the two girls could silence the other with but two words. The red head turned to the final, black haired member of the band of misfits.

"I believe Uzumaki-san has lost consciousness."

The girl had a rather elegant and kind voice. Her whole demeanor also complimented it. A black kimono, which was fit for battle, went with her long, well cared hair. She looked more like a mother hen than a ninja. Then again, sometimes her eyes shone with a hint of trickery, like she was playing a joke on the world at this very moment.

"Your point being? Now we just don't have to deal with him screaming like a little girl."

The other girl was on the other end of the spectrum. A temper to match her spiky red her, along with shorts to show off lean, if not a bit muscular, legs. She was as straight forward as they came, that much had become apparent. She didn't hide the fact that she had planned to castrate their late member, nor that it was going to be done with a rusty kunai.

"Maybe we should let our new Sensei decide what we should do?" She made a gesture towards the back of the room.

In the corner sat a woman who had held her silence the entire time. Said women could tell that the voice of reason in the group was going to be wearing a kimono.

"Hey Sensei! What should we do with this…" The loud girl looked down at the boy sleeping with a slightly happy expression. "Thing."

The women might have had an expression of intense thought if she hadn't already learned to constrict most facial expressions. She might have blinked a moment before letting a small smile grace her face. Might have.

"Lesson One: Interrogation."

* * *

The liquid made for the most relaxing bath he had ever had, hands down. 

He had been floating on this _Kami_-givin-gift of a substance for the several minutes now. Or had it been hours? Who cares this was great.

Curiosity ranked him just below cats on its list though, as he peeked an eye open. The sky was completely white. A rather pale white that makes doctor offices look homey.

He swiveled his eye to the side. A single tear streaked down his face at the site that befell him.

"I've died and gone to heaven!"

He was currently floating in what could only be described as a giant bowl of ramen. It was clear of noodles but much of the broth was still sitting at the bottom.

He was about to let out a happy sigh and sink below the surface to gorge himself when a warning light went off.

His eyes widened slowly as he realized what usually **happened** to giant, nearly empty bowls of ramen.

A giant cerulean eye hovered above him.

He could only scream as the giant slurped.

* * *

"AHHHHH!" 

His futile attempt to flail his arms and legs were put down by the ropes that currently bound him. He snapped his eyes open.

This brought on two realizations:

One. The sun was shining joyfully (read _'like a bastard'_)

And two. He was very wet. Someone had apparently just dumped water all over his face.

This led to him closing his eyes and crying out in pain as a couple had begun to tap dance in his skull.

"Uzumaki-san." A monotone voice came to his ears. It was quiet, which was very very good.

"Mmmm..yea?"

"Please inform the rest of your team why you believed it pertinent to go out drinking the day before Genin team assignments."

The people stopped tap dancing and both began pulling at the iron rod stuck between the gears in Naruto's head.

"Do what?"

A small sound reached his ears. It sounded like someone cracking their knuckles almost, but why would someone be doing that?

"Can you…" He struggled for the right phrase.

"Turn off the…" He lost hope. "What do ya callit?"

"The sun?" A second voice offered, noticeably younger. It was soft and pleasant to his ears.

"Yea yea…" He really wanted to rub his head at the moment.

The tap dancing pair finally managed to get the iron rod out and his gears began turning.

"Umm… why am I tied up?" It sounded almost rhetorical.

"Because you have yet to give a suitable excuse for your tardiness and your hung over state." The monotone voice was back.

If Naruto could do anything but grimace he would have had a confused expression.

He then made the intellectual rebuttal of the century, "I don't think I'm hung over anything…"

"Hung over is a state that people enter the morning after a night if intense drinking. Sound is more than likely causing you pain and the sunlight is adding to your discomfort."

He nodded after deciphering her words. That sounded about right. He definitely remembered drinking things. The gears began to move faster, the former tap dancing pair patted themselves on the back.

"Can you untie me now?"

"Your lack of an excuse is the only thing stopping us from untying you."

Some of the pressure in his head began to relieve itself.

"I think..." He began before he had even formulated a proper response. "I think I slept late."

"That part we deduced. If you could inform us why you were drinking last night when you are clearly underage, it would be most beneficial to this interrogation."

He wasn't totally sure what interrogation meant, but he could guess.

"My boss." He peeked a single eye open. A women's face was hovering above his.

"She kinda…" Her head blocked the sun, which was great.

"Dragged me along on." She showed no emotion though.

"It was kinda like." And she had purple hair. "A going away party or something."

The women's eyes became distant for a moment before she nodded.

"Did you not inform her that you would be needed early? You could have declined."

Naruto let out a small scoff. "You try saying no to that women."

She seemed to contemplate this for a moment before nodding curtly.

"Acceptable." A growl and a sigh, of relief he believed, accompanied the statement. Neither from the purple haired women.

Naruto found himself being picked up and dropped in a shady spot. He noted that it seemed to be under a tree on the Academy grounds.

His arms and legs were free before he knew it and he was taking in his surroundings more. His head still hurt but he could easily make out the pond near the Academy to his left.

He also noticed three figures.

One was the before mentioned purpled haired women. She was in standard issue ANBU gear, sans mask, and a Kodachi (instead of a standard-grade Ninjato) strapped to her back. Her face was expressionless though it didn't look like she was mean. Just void of most normal human emotions.

The other two figures were girls who were as different as Noon and Midnight.

When he looked at the red head that was shooting him glances filled with anger. He absent mindedly rubbed his nose. She was probably taller than him and her legs were shapely. Her face was nearly clean of baby fat, and slightly angular. A predatory glint shone in eyes similar in color to his own, if just a bit more dull.

The other girl was smaller. She smiled at him and nodded her head towards him. Her face looked like it would feel like velvet and a smile was easy to imagine under squinted hazel eyes.

He decided, out of all of his team, he liked her the most. She showed emotion and didn't seem to want to murder him. These were qualities he liked.

Though something about her smile bothered him, he just couldn't place it.

* * *

"What did you learn?" It wasn't exactly an informative exercise but they could have picked a few things up. 

The red head was expectedly the first to offer an answer, "If we make him feel pain or awkward or uncomfortable we can get what we want easier."

"Offering a person something they want makes it easier to get info." An overall text book response.

"Good." They probably knew those things before but a little bit of firsthand experience never hurt.

She wasn't totally sure how to shape ANBU from the formless mass that is a new Genin.

"Huh?"

She did hope the boy's intelligence level would leap up as the morning drew on and the hangover passed.

You will never know unless you give it a shot, or so she had heard.

She knew how her Genin team's introduction went… and it did help her team… well… somewhat.

Uzumaki was already shirtless and she only had to hope he wasn't anything like Funn.

_'I should at least check with them.'_

"Would any of you be opposed introducing ourselves in a way that would optimize beneficial results?"

The two girls donned a confused expressions and Uzumaki just nodded his head while rubbing it.

After a short moment of consideration, the girls agreed.

She would have to make sure they knew to ask for more info when asked a vague question.

The red head asked, "Like what?"

"This." Her image flicked and all three Genin found themselves on their backs.

She would have grinned if she didn't want to keep composure. Even she wanted to indulge occasionally. After all, she had always wanted to do that.

She dropped their cloths in an undignified pile behind her and turned around to find them realizing that they were all indeed in their under wear.

"OK! What the hell?" The red head was the first to react. She missed blond haired boy doubling over from the sudden volume increase, as she was preparing to pounce her sensei.

A kadochi was at her throat quicker than she could comprehend.

"There's a reason I am the Jounin-sensei and you're a student. Now sit and quiet down, I believe you're causing Uzumaki-san pain."

She resigned to her fate and fell back with a huff. She had agreed after all to it. She glared warningly at Naruto, though he didn't notice as he was still collecting his brain from where his skull had just been opened, and she didn't even glance at her other team mate.

The other girl was faring better. She didn't seem bothered by her now scantily clad state, though she was obviously surprised by its suddenness.

The only male was a bit unexpected. He blinked when he got up from cradling his head, his apparently pantlessness confused him greatly. He turned to the other two looking for an answer perhaps. He didn't blush as she had anticipated, instead he looked almost… afraid? Yes, afraid of two half naked girls. That makes perfect sense.

He protectively covered himself and turned away from them.

The oldest member of the team cleared her throat.

"Names, likes, dislikes, and your reason for being a ninja."

It's all she needed to know from them at the time.

* * *

Aya WAS having a good day. 

Key word: _was_.

Got up, got some sushi, got out before her dad could so much as say "My little Aya-chan is all grown up!", and got to class for the team assignments right on time. She even had a little time to mess around.

It had been steadily going downhill since then.

Harumi wasn't that bad teammate wise. She was pretty smart over all and could probably keep up her own end of the team well.

Her sensei was rather… strange. She didn't seem to make facial expressions though when she found out their last team member wasn't there her lips were pressed together rather tightly.

Three hours later and she was on the verge of ripping some of her own hair out. Luckily for her hair, the little runt decided to show up just as she was pacing in front of the door.

He wasn't even ready! He only had a freakin' pair of pants on! And was that a tattoo? If it was, it was the stupidest one she had ever seen.

Was that alcohol she smelled? Oh this kid was gonna get curb stomped fast if he kept this crap up.

She let out some anger on the kid and was about to get physical if Harumi hadn't gone and taken pity on him.

She laughed rather (to her at least) evilly as they tied him up outside in the sun.

Aya got put off when she was told not to say anything, but complied. Her new sensei seemed rather easy to agree with.

After a whole big conversation that seemed pointless by the end, they finally get on with business and then **WAM BAM!** Everyone's in their under wear, well except for their Sensei of course.

To say she was pissed at the moment was an understatement.

"I'll use myself as an example. Yuugao Uzuki, I like sharpening my weapons and meditation. I dislike all forms of karaoke!" The woman said the last part with enough venom to kill a bull, but she was quick to regain her composure. "I am a ninja because I have goals needing to be completed."

Although her Sensei surprised her with her seemingly utter hatred of amateur singing, Aya decided to take the initiative

"Aya Niisagi's the name and sushi's the game!"

"Ramen's better." Naruto mumbled out, more of a reflex than anything.

Aya froze. She didn't just hear that. If she didn't hear that, what she was about to do was a random act of violence.

"It's clobberin time!" She knocked him over the head. "Nothing AND I MEAN NOTHING is greater in this world than fish! Fried, sushi, on a stick, whatever!"

If she paid attention she would have noticed he was dazed and didn't really hear a word she was saying.

"Anyways," She took a calming breath. "You can guess I like my delicious fishies."

Her face scrunched up before grinning.

"I hate…" she leaned down into a still very dazed Naruto's ear. "Ramen."

The effect was instantaneous. Whatever hangover might have been there was gone, and fast.

Aya found herself being bitten by a very irate blonde.

"**HEATHEN!**" He screamed between bites. "**The power of ramen compels you!"**

This of course looked very dirty to any outsiders (note there are two) looking in, as biting plus underwear can never equal anything remotely wholesome.

"Oh you're dead! I'm gonna fillet you!"

A small scuffle ensued with Aya clearly winning. They didn't bother with what was happening around them so it's understandable they didn't hear someone clearing their throat.

"It would be in the best interest of both of you to stop." They both froze and turned to their third wheel. Her voice was still soft, but it carried another very distinct quality. Menace.

"Now."

They instantly broke apart. Aya pouted but Naruto simply stuck his tongue out. A quick glare from Harumi stopped that non-sense.

She then smiled at them both. "Please continue Aya-san." Her kind voice was back, and they silently agreed it should stay that way.

"I became a ninja because…" She bit one of her nails in thought, for a moment. "I guess I wanted to feel useful. Not just some other civilian."

Naruto eyed the other dark haired girl out of the corner of his eye. He gulped, but she just nodded at him. He grinned hesitantly.

"My names Naruto Uzumaki!" He scratched his neck for the briefest moment that it seemed almost pointless to raise his hand up for that brief action.

"I like ramen and cards." His cards were quickly in his left hand and he fluttered them over to his right, all the while grinning. "I dislike…"

His grinned maddened.

"I-don't-like-fish." He sing-songed the sentence.

The only thing that stopped Aya from tackling him and ripping out his pancreas was a soft, if stern, hand on her shoulder. Her eye still ticked and her hands clenched themselves.

He just grinned at her. He winced slightly when the small adrenaline burst suddenly wore off. The hangover was back.

"I'm ninja cause I'm going to be the Hokage!" He sounded particularly enthusiastic for someone with a hangover returning with avengeance.

Aya personally believed if he wasn't willing away the pain in his head, he would have struck a pose like that one guy in green spandex this morning.

"Hello!" the last member of the team piped up. "My name is Harumi Kuro." She bowed her head.

She placed a finger on her chin and pursed her lips slightly.

"I like a lot of things and I dislike a few things." If this was a manga this would be point where Aya and Naruto have a large sweat drop. "I'm a ninja just cause."

She beamed and nodded to herself more than anyone else.

Yuugao's lips twitched upwards for a moment and she nodded.

"Good. Now we can discuss your real Genin Test."

3…

2…

1…

"WHAT?!"

Naruto's eyes tried their best to roll into the back of his head.

* * *

Naruto laid his head in the cold table. The sensation was strangely soothing. 

The run home had been much less hasty. It couldn't be with the sun bearing down him. He stuck to the shadows as best he could. This gave him time to come to a decision.

Hangovers are possibly, the most evil thing that has ever existed. Demons, villains, snakes, pedophiles and possibly even _"The Evil Ones"_ (read those who dislike ramen), all of them have nothing on the wickedness that is a hangover.

It didn't help that a lot more people were running around at the time. If there were any glares or angry eyes, they could go screw off as far as Naruto was concerned. He was at the end of his rope.

He felt something being gently placed in front of him. He peeked out from behind his free hanging hair to see Suma-chan smiling in all her glory. Even though evil, glory is glory all the same.

He really **should** be surprised by the fact that she was at his apartment. He **wasn't.**

He **shouldn't** be surprised by the fact that she has on cloths. Ironically enough he **was**, surprised that is.

"I hate you just so you know."

"And after I just made you the hang over cure of the century?"

"If it wasn't for you I wouldn't be hung over..." His face scrunched up in that way that only a little boy can. "And since when do you cook or make anything?"

"I do windows, too."

The only thing Naruto could offer to that was a blank look.

She turned around and stepped up to his stove. There were two pans and some sizzling was reaching him. It didn't smell too bad, he could admit. Betting it was bacon was pretty safe. Where from, he wasn't sure.

_'I guess she does cook'_

His attention was soon drawn to the strange drink filling one of glasses.

_'How did she make this?'_ It wasn't like there was much in his apartment that could turn a drink into…

...whatever color it is. Sort of green, but a bit too… pale. Pale was a good word for whatever color that was.

"You want me to drink that?" His head was still on the table, he was propped up on his chin. His arms were free falling as best they could.

"Unless you want it to go in through another hole." She placed a finger on her chin and began nodding thoughtfully, not bothering to even turn around.

To Naruto, that was a good of reason as any.

He had put down ramen faster, quite a bit faster, but it's not like the thing tasted anything like ramen.

After wiping his mouth with his forearm did he remember that it was a drink that got him in the predicament in the first place. Luck was once again on his side though, as his head seemed to just… deflate. Slowly but surely.

Naruto looked at the glass in his hand for a second before looking up at the women currently cooking.

"You know Suma-chan…" She actually twisted her head so one eye was visible. "You're a genius… but an evil one."

"Oh Naru-chan, if you learned anything from my establishment it's how to treat a women! I have been called less flattering things though."

This of course went over Naruto's head. Before he could ask what she meant though, he was interrupted.

"Ok, whose apartment are we in Suma-chan? There's freaking ramen bowls all over the shower curtain!"

A new, towel-clad women entered the room. She smelled of his soap which was a weird experience for Naruto. Not everyone adjusts well to weird Amazonian-esque women using their soap.

"And who's the little kid?" Naruto and the new women stared at each other for a second.

He really should be pissed about being called a little kid. He was pretty much an official ninja now. Well, after the test tomorrow he was at least.

"Why don't you recognize…" Suma-chan grinned. "Him?"

The women blinked before a light came on in her head.

"I didn't know Rei had a kid!"

Naruto let out a guttural sound and slammed his head on the table. This, surprise surprise, hurt like hell.

This was turning into one of those days.

* * *

"So." A sip. 

"They were interesting to say the least."

"So they would utterly bomb Kakashi-san's test?"

"Not entirely, but more than likely."

He nodded his agreement to his 'partner'.

"So Kakashi-san's test is out of the questions. You could always do some sort of trapped obstacle course."

Yuugao swished the idea around in her head for a moment before shaking her head.

"I need a test that would require them to work together, but require a bit more finesse than running straight through a series of traps. No doubt, Aya and Naruto would do exactly that."

"Don't read a book by its cover."

She could have barked with laughter right then. It was so funny coming from him, the 'sick' Kenjutsu specialist. His cough was as much of a trademark as Kakashi's mask or Gai's… well… Gai-ness.

He seemed to be doing fine now, and she was sure it wasn't the tea.

She settled for a rare smirk.

"What's so funny?"

He could write a book named _"Yuugao Uzuki's Facial Expressions, an In-depth Look"_. It would never reach the best sellers list.

"Nothing at all."

Hayate let out a sigh of exasperation. Nothing was very easy with the woman.

"So what are you going to do?"

If Hayate was useful for anything, it was bouncing ideas and thoughts off of.

"I wonder what they would do…" Hayate fell into silence as she made that statement. Some things, he knew it was best to leave alone.

Yoshinori would more than likely send them on a crusade to prove themselves. It would probably involve traveling for several years, fighting the entire way and at the end the team would end up reaching some form of enlightenment. He would then gladly teach them all he knew. He would be a horrible teacher though.

Concerning Funn, a few ideas come to mind. Getting pictures of girls at a hot spring, painting perverted pictures all over the town without being caught, and possibly hording the entirety of Icha-Icha in Konoha. That was a big no. Kami forbid Funn could have ever had female students. He wasn't a pedophile… well she didn't think he was.

Teruo-sensei… well. He would have them doing something that would either count as training or have them basically doing menial tasks. He was a fruit-case for efficiency. Would probably have them doing his grocery shopping and if they didn't do it in favorable time and manner he would fail them. Well… that's what he did for them at least.

So some sort of perverted, vindictive crusade that needed to be completed in a timely and efficient manner.

She let out an uncommon sigh, before she quirked an eyebrow. She processed what she had just thought.

"I know that look." She turned to Hayate, the edges of her mouth slightly up turned. "You just had a good idea or something."

"Or something."

Hayate blinked before a smirk found it's way to his face. This was going to be more interesting than he originally thought.

* * *

"OK! This is the place!" 

"Wow, thanks for that little tid bit." Sarcasm at its best…

"You're welcome!" Then again Naruto was never accused of being brightest bulb in the knife drawer.

**Smack!**

"Ow! What was that for?"

"Harumi, you got any idea why we are stuck babysitting?"

"Hey!" Naruto's voice sounded outraged if anything. "The test is babysitting? I thought we were going to-"

"There are rules against killing team mates aren't there?"

"I believe so." The third member of the party finally decided to voice herself.

Sigh. "Well… let's go then."

Blink.

Blink.

"Hey! Wait! Are we baby sitting or not?!"

* * *

"So what's the plan?" 

Two incredulous looks.

"You're the one barging in and bossing people around!"

"He has a point Aya-san."

"Hey, the leader doesn't exactly mean the plan maker."

Incredulous turned to blank sighs.

"Ok ok! I guess we could run and just snatch em and run."

"The opponent is an upper A-Class Jounin, how are we suppose to get around him?"

"Gang bang him of course!"

It was the two female's turn to share a look, this one wide eyed.

"Naruto-san, do you know what that means?"

Naruto's face became quizzical.

"I think… what do you mean?"

Awkward silence.

"Anyways!" An attempt to change the subject.

"Like I was saying, we jump in there an-" Aya's attempt at formulating a plan was interrupt.

"May I make a suggestion?"

"Errr… sure?"

"From what we know of him, he's stronger than most jounin so even the three of us together would have a slim chance."

Two nodes agreed with her.

"He has to have weaknesses though, even the greatest ninjas do."

"Well he's a red-blooded male right?" Aya seemed to be forming an idea.

"Yes."

"Pretty much a perv?"

"Yes." Harumi was seeing where this was going. Aya always did have a sense of humor… well she hoped it was humor.

"Well… let's just flash him!"

"Flash him?" The only male member of team 3 decided to join the team's conversation.

"I believe she's joking, Naruto-san." Harumi was letting out a very motherly sigh and shaking her head. She added mentally. _'Believe.'_

"If we need to flash him, I could."

Cricket, seemingly out of nowhere, began chirping in the back ground.

"Ok, do what?"

Naruto slipped out a card. He grinned and showed them the Queen of Hearts. The back was also written in red and in a seemingly random, if symmetrical, design.

"Flash him!"

Naruto's team began wondering if maybe Naruto was ready for a padded room and one of those _fun_ little jackets.

"With a card?"

Naruto looked between the card and his team mates, his face filled with confusion. His face should be used to that expression by now.

"Yes…?" He was hesitant, testing the waters.

"How?"

He seemed stumped by the problem. He peeked around the corner and spied the door their target was behind. He looked down at the card. He grinned and snapped his fingers.

"I got a plan!"

Eyebrows quirked.

"Well, what is..." Aya tried to decide on the right word. "It."

He turned wide-eyed to them. Nervousness was suddenly filling the air.

"I… uh."

He scowled in frustration for a second, before Harumi could have sworn she saw a light bulb over his head.

"Ok, you guys wait outside his window. I'll…" He gestured to the card. "Flash him."

The girls looked at each other.

"You trust him?"

"It's worth a shot, Aya-san."

"I know, but he doesn't look like the genius planner type."

"I'm…" Naruto was as deadpanned as they came. "Right here you know."

"Yea, we will have to work on that whole 'him talking' thing later."

"Indeed."

_'Why me?'_ thought Naruto as he stared up at the heaven's accusingly.

* * *

"He should be starting…" Aya paused for dramatic effect, Harumi didn't really appreciate it. "Now!" 

So they waited.

For about 2 minutes until a bright light flashed out the window, barely noticeable on the sunny day.

Both Aya and Harumi are observant girls. It's only understandable that they wonder, where in the hell exactly did that flash come from.

"That was…"

"Like a flash bang, sans bang?"

Aya nodded her agreement.

"How?"

"With a card app-"

**"MY PRECIOUS!" **A very distinctive, older male voice came from the apartment. The target of the flash seemed to have shrugged it off rather fast.

"Well, that was short."

"You know… we should go help him. I mean-"

She was interrupted by… smoke?

White smoke broke through the mark's window. The mystery was solved when Naruto came streaking out of it, a small sack bag in-hand. They could only hope that he got them all.

"Heh, you actually did it whiskers!" He was approaching them rather fast and it's around this time they notice that he is once again shirtless and looking rather frantic.

Two different eyebrows quirked.

"How did he lose his shirt?" Was all Harumi could ask as he dashed past them."Again."

Aya likened him to an animal running from a place that was better left alone. Her spine went rigid before she could comment though.

"Ever have that feeling?"

"What feeling, Aya-san?"

"That something really bad is about to happen if we don't-"

**"WHERE IS MY PRECIOUS!?"**

"Cheese it!"

They dashed after their male cohort. Explanations could be saved till later.

* * *

"Ok… wait wait…" A brash female voice. 

"YOU HAD THEM DO WHAT!?" Her voice relayed that she was trying her hardest not to bust a gut at the moment.

"Just a simple exercise in teamwork, ingenuity, and stealth. All are important to ANBU potentials." A monotone answer did little to hide an undercurrent of amusement. The first female at that moment was having a hard time picking herself up off the floor.

"I see where you're coming from, but don't you think it's a bit much for a new genin team?" A soft voice but with an unmistakable air of authority. It was authority, even if she had none over the two women she was dining with.

"Genius! I need to get me a team just for that reason alone! Genius I tell ya!" The brash female had managed to climb to her knees and was making her way up onto the chair.

"I am already going to pass them if they can get through the first part. The second… is well…"

"**BRILLIANT!?**" The loud women offered.

"Yes, in some ways."

"I suppose… who are the marks?"

A moment

"I like that smile on you… it means entertainment." The women, now fully in her chair, said. She followed it with a creepy cackle.

There was a shifting of paper and the sound of moving chairs.

A moment later. "Holy shit, you're not making it easy for them."

"That third won't be easy to reach at all. ANBU pretty much surround him."

"Well, you have to remember that Uzumaki is on my team."

The other two could feel the grin coming from their boisterous friend.

"If he can do it, the brat will go up a notch or two on my fun scale."

"The question there is, is that a good thing or a bad thing?" The two other women shared a small chuckle.

"You should know the answer to that by now, Yuu-chan!"

* * *

_Specters._

That was a good word for the two dark figures that convened in the alleyway. The darkness seemed to hug them in a decidingly creepy manner.

The moon was gone tonight leaving only a single street lamp to shine as a beacon in the dark. The light stopped a step or two before it met the quiet duo.

The two seemed to be impatient and just inspected each other a moment before turning to look down the street.

Yes, they were waiting. They were waiting for many things. Waiting for this painful ordeal to be over, to take a shower, but most importantly waiting for-

"Boo!"

The two figures jumped out into the street light as a third emerged from the shadows. This revealed two easily identifiable females in dark clothing.

This surprise was quickly followed by a thud as the taller of the original two knocked the new comer into the ground.

The tallest addressed the newest addition to the dark alley with a hushed voice, "You idiot! We are on a stealth mission!" The voice was easily identifiable as female. It was also raising in volume with each word. "You know as in quiet, _sneaky sneaky_, and oh I don't know **NINJA-LIKE!**"

"Aya-san please, at least he's not wearing something orange."

That was one small victory for the two girls. He actually did have something that wasn't orange, but it didn't look like it would stand up in a ninja fight. Though there was one thing…

"Where the hell did you get an ANBU cloak?"

The boy on the ground groaned before answering, "I took it."

The two females of the team seemed skeptical at best.

The boy fumbled with something in his pouch before pulling out a scroll and unfurling it. A moment and a puff of smoke later and Aya found a second ANBU cloak flying into her face.

"I swear if we didn't have **_Operation: Black Lightning_** to do…" Aya mumbled as she untangled her face from the cloak. Though she couldn't help but wonder how the brat would know how to seal items. It was a supposed High-Chuunin ranked skill.

She skipped on thanking him for the sweet ANBU cloak. She had always wanted one.

"**_Operation: Black Lightning_**? You gave it a name?" The quizzical voice of their whiskered-teammate sounded.

Harumi and Naruto both a similar line of thought, _'What does Black Lightning have to do with this at all?'_

"Yea, isn't it awesome? We get to be all ninja-like and stuff. Sneaking around in darkness, tracking targets, and striking at the right moment. Ain't that right _Itachi_?"

Aya (and Naruto who followed her example) turned to Harumi who was fastening on another ANBU cloak herself and looked surprised to find it fitting rather well. She looked up at Aya with an elegant eye brow quirked.

"_Itachi_? Are you giving us codenames?"

"What self respecting ninja Operation doesn't have codenames?" Aya asked as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, as she too donned her cloak on.

It also fitted her size. It was getting slightly strange as they both knew that ANBU cloaks were not made in children sizes.

"Wait, what's my name?" Naruto's voice was impatient if anything.

"_Usagi_!"

Naruto frowned at that and scratched his chin a pose referred to as from now on as "The Uzumaki Thinking Pose". He nodded after a moment.

"That's ok I guess, but what's yours?"

"_Taka_!"

Naruto dead panned while leveling a gaze on her.

"Don't hawks eat rabbits?"

"Hell yea they do!"

Silence hung in the nights air before it was broken by an owl hooting off in the distance

"Anyways, shall we begin…" Harumi seemed to be dealing with a bad taste in her mouth. "Operation: Black Lightning?"

Aya scowled, she could feel that Harumi didn't bold and italicize **_"Operation: Black Lightning"._**

Both girls turned to the blond haired member of the trio after a moment as he began rummaging through his pouch again. This time he produced three sheets of paper and distributed them.

His compatriots studied the sheets before nodding and the trio exchanged looks.

"So… how are we handling this?" was Aya's eventual question.

"Splitting up and doing two each would be help greatly when it came to the time requirement."

"No doubt there." Aya nodded her agreement.

"Cool. If we are splitting up, I'll take…" Naruto leaned forwards and pointed at a name on their sheets. "Him." He said the last word with a grin and followed it with devious laughter.

"No offense, but he's probably the most difficult of them all _Usagi_."

"See I told you, the code names rock!"

Harumi could admit, it did feel slightly cool to use codenames.

"Don't worry bout that…errrr"

"_Itachi_."

"Yea, yea _Itachi_." Naruto's grin, if possible, turned sinister. "I know his weakness."

Both girls nodded, they knew his weakness too. Well technically, they knew every target on the list's weakness.

"Alright then." Harumi started working out something. "You live around these two _Taka_, so you would know the territory."

"Yea, shades has it coming. Little stuck-up bastard."

"I can do the two at the bottom easily, and that leaves _Usagi_ with him and the left over one."

They all nodded in unison.

"_Usagi_, give em to us." Naruto nodded in a surprising show of maturity and produced another scroll.

Three smokey poofs later and Aya and Harumi held twin daggers in each hand. The daggers looked oddly ceremonial.

Naruto stood up holding a third pair. A tag was showed dangling from the end of each. The words were unreadable even to them in the darkness, though all three knew what they said.

Aya the next moment brought out a small knap-sack. They all reached in and drew out two more objects and tucked them safely in their cloaks.

They all nodded in unison once again. Harumi made to turn away.

"Wait!" Aya's voice called her back. Harumi obliged, but with a slight scowl.

Aya's team looked at her as looked between them.

"**_Operation: Black Lightning: Phase One_** commence!" Aya struck a pose a bit too similar for comfort to a certain spandex wearing Taijutsu specialist.

Harumi resisted the urge to palm her face as Aya sneaked off in an exaggerated fashion.

Naruto sighed. "She's going to do this a lot isn't she?" Harumi could only nod.

"Good luck, _Usagi_."

"You too, errrr..."

"_Itachi._"

"Yea, what you said."

_'Itachi'_ and _'Usagi'_ leapt off, knowing what strange path they would be walking that night.

* * *

**_Author's Note:_**

**_And there you go. _**

**_Team 3: Aya Niisagi, Harumi Kuro, Naruto Uzumaki, and Yuugao Uzuki._**

**_I really do hope you like them. I like them at least. Believe me when I say, that they have some reason for acting the way they do._**

**_I especially enjoyed the last scene. If you liked that dynamic, then you should enjoy the team's little moments. Just with less crazy Aya. _**

**_ She's kinda eccentric when it comes to "Cloak-and-Dagger" ninja routine. She would be very happy in ANBU. _**

**_ Harumi though is gonna be fun. Just wait till you see her fighting style... I rather like it. If you guys would like a Bio of some of my OCs (don't worry there won't be a massive amount) let me know and I will add one in with the next chapter. _**

* * *

_**Glossary  
**(I'm no master of the Japanese Language so forgive for any mistakes)_

**_Chapter 2 _**

_Aya__- _Colorful (_Niisagi_ is something weird I threw together from the words _Niiro_ and _Usagi_. I wanted it to mean **Red Hare**, but it doesn't)

_Harumi Kuro- _Spring Beauty Black

_ Usagi- _Rabbit

_Taka- _Hawk

_Itachi- _Weasel

_**Chapter 1**_

_Sumairu__- _Smile (it's not really a proper name. It's like naming your kid Smile)

_Reifujina Tsuki__- _roughly Lady Luck. (Once again it's not really a proper name. I don't think at least)

_Shotacon__-_ Likes little boys pretty much. Can mean male or female.

* * *


	4. Trials and Tribulations

_**Howdy! Well, that was a pretty big hiatus. Sorry 'bout that but my interest was caught by other things, including school. Sadly I lost some interest in this fic but I regained it after reading through Food for Thought by RakeeshJ4. Good fic if not too action packed. Gave me an idea for the Neji fight this time around that I rather like and believe is rather original.**_

_**People seem to like this fic much more than the Barking Trickster and I have always been a pleaser. I actually had this chapter 3/4 done for a month now but I just couldn't really bring myself to round out the end.**_

_**First fight real fight scene I have written, but the next chapter will have a few more. Sort of a warm up.**_

_**Note: If you are wondering how to tell the difference between Harumi/Yuugao and others, they both tend to be more proper speaking and don't use contractions. I'm not sure why but I always imagined proper speaking not using contractions.**_

**_This chapter is 10k words which is my longest chapter ever. Enjoy._**

_**Diclaimer: I don't own Naruto but I do own Aya and Harumi. **_

* * *

Cutting the Deck

**Chapter 3**

_**"Trials and Tribulations"**_

* * *

Two pair.

Two pairs of feet pattered along the hall way. Only the slightest sound betrayed that they were actually walking at all.

The first, a purple haired woman, looked the strangest combination of pleased and unpleased that would ever mar her face. It was unnoticeable to most, but to those who had gotten use to the statuesque women it was clear. Her arms were crossed as she strode down the stone hall way that was lined by a wooden door with a letter and number on it.

The mortification hung in the air like a stench.

"Start from the beginning as your messenger was not very clear what happened." A monotone familiar to most ANBU.

The ANBU member walking right behind Yuugao Uzuki wished with all his might to be someone else or at least somewhere else.

"One of our rookie ANBU spotted Naruto Uzumaki sneaking out of the Hokage estate."

"That much was made clear."

The man let out a nervous laugh that was more of a wheeze than anything.

"Yes yes, well. Like I was saying, the Hokage said that Uzumaki is always welcome in his house but the boy looked particularly suspicious at the time."

"How so?" intoned the seemingly rigid women.

"I believe the rookie who spotted him said he was wearing an ANBU-grade cloak, complete with the Leaf symbol on the bottom left edge."

Yuugao's eyebrow went up a notch.

"So the rookie went to question Uzumaki, but when Uzumaki became aware of his presence he bolted."

Yuugao stopped and turned to the man slightly.

"And how long was the chase?"

"Well Uzuki-dono, it _was_ a rookie…" The man had stopped as well.

"How long was the chase, _Rizu_?" Yuugao's voice was still monotone but it adopted an air of authority.

"Approximately thirty-seven minutes, ma'm." A sharp, crisp answer.

Yuugao turned back and began walking again. The ANBU now know solely as _Rizu_ noted that her gat seemed to hide a little bit of pride.

"What happened during the course of the chase?"

"Uzumaki showed skillful use of evasive tactics and misdirection, and that's not mentioning his… strange card skills..."

"Elaborate." Yuugao had an idea of what Naruto's skill set included, but not details.

"One card he used seemed to make a blinding light, which was rather impressive to quote the pursuing ANBU. " Yuugao noted that particular bit of info was missing from the villages files. "How exactly did he do that?"

"Seals I would surmise." The ANBU's head perked up slightly at that. "Anything else?"

She made a sharp left, and began walking up a set of stairs that seemed to be hidden by the architect between the walls.

"Well, he also utilized cards that made a weird Bunshin no Jutsu. It was easy to by pass though, as they couldn't go very far away from where the card placed." That wasn't new, but the weakness was previously unknown.

"How was Uzumaki apprehended?"

"Well," The man with the squirrely mask scratched the back of his head. "He sort of… stumbled…"

He let out his nervous laugh once again, "… into his team mates."

"So they were labeled as accomplices and taken in as well?"

"Yes Yuugao-sama and we then followed Uzumaki-standard-procedure." After he said the last part he seemed to seize up much in the same way a person would after saying something they shouldn't.

Yuugao came to an abrupt halt.

"There's an Uzumaki-standard-procedure?"

Nervous laughter for a third time.

"Put him in a civilian cell with the key in plain sight."

Yuugao turned and leveled an intense stare at him.

"Well… when we do actually get him for a prank or something, we always just do that as a sort of…" The man was shrinking back from stern women.

"Joke." He nearly whispered it out.

Yuugao immediately shot back, "And you didn't think of him using Kawarmi?"

"We don't have anti-Shushin seals there, but there are anti-Kawarmi. Those have been activated since the kid learned it."

The only thing to show the purple-haired women's displeasure was the slight thinning of the lips. She began walking once again.

"And their possessions were placed outside the cell as the case with most simple civilian detainment, correct?"

"Yes, right."

She came up to a simple wooden door and swung it open.

"Then why exactly…"

She walked through the doorway and past several one-window, metal cells on one wall. They were enough a civilian that was usually staying one night. The single window in each had sun shining through and led right out into the open city.

Most were empty but the occasional one had a drunk or a hooligan occupying it.

On the other side of the hallway, several long shelves were lined up parallel to the cells. Each person currently held had several items outside their cell, obviously their possessions taken from them.

Yuugao's voice rose a little

"…did you leave…"

She came to the last cell and made an abrupt turn. Her hair was pushed back by a slight breeze and the 

sun was rising in front of her.

Yuugao's voice was as loud as most would ever hear.

"…a budding **Seal master** with a brush then?"

She indicated to the wall which was currently missing a large portion of itself. A hole had been blow clear through and nearly ventured into the adjacent cell.

"We didn-"

"-and where are these so-called possessions?"

"Huh?"

She gestured to the section of the shelf in front of cell that was now minus one wall. The man swiveled his head.

Yuugao didn't need to see behind _Rizu_'s mask to know he was blushing with embarrassment.

All that lay there was a single key.

* * *

**Earlier…**

* * *

Naruto let out a sigh as he stared at the key that lay just beyond the bars. He was slightly disappointed a _newbie_ caught him.

It was an unspoken goal of his to force an ANBU Captain to chase him. Sadly, he wasn't very close to that goal, as the most he had gotten was some guy that had _tree roots_ grab his legs.

As weird as it may sound, Naruto had always seen the "white-maskey-faced-guys" as play mates. It wasn't like he had many friends, and they always _were_ up for a good chase. It was kind of like hide and seek of sorts. They weren't mean to him, mostly indifferent, but they would occasionally make a joke or compliment him for a particularly maneuver.

He frowned when he realized he had been neglecting them lately. That was probably why he was 

caught. Then again the guy that got him was new, so it was possible that he was using a weird patrol.

The guy wasn't much of a pursuer (Mid-chuunin tops) and Naruto was confident he would have lost him if not for accidently running straight to the pre-assigned meeting spot for Team 3. Then again he did break out nearly every trick he had before hand, including his _Flash Cards_ (patent pending). That's not even mentioning him using his cloak as a distraction and losing it.

He knew they were either sadistic or at least had a sense of humor. They always left the key just right there in his view. It taunted him.

He also couldn't help but notice the seals etched into the bars. He had no doubt that they were for negating Kawarmi, a seal he was unfamiliar with. The method used acid, a form of inkless sealing that he hadn't even reached yet and was newer than "Idiot's Guide to Sealing" as the only time it's mentioned was in changes added.

His mood turned even sourer when he thought about the test. They had failed… sort of.

He had gotten his two targets down, even though the last caused complications.

One of Aya's apparently moved apartments though, and nobody knew where to.

"We were so close too…" mumbled out the whiskered boy, leaning his head against the cool bars.

"Technically Naruto-san, we are stilling taking the test."

Naruto looked over at the two girls seated on the cot set up on the other side of the cell.

Aya threw in a (not-so) little (bit) of sarcasm, "And don't worry, we can easily blow ourselves out of here!"

Naruto stared at her for a moment. You could almost hear the gears grinding before something clicked into place.

"I mean I guess I could… I never really thought about it before." Naruto mumbled thoughtfully and looked down, rubbing his chin.

Aya gave him an incredulous look and Harumi had a small smirk forming on her face.

"You've gotta be kidding me?"

Naruto looked her right in the eyes with a confused expression before shrugging. He began rolling up his right sleeve.

"If it's just explosions you want, that's no problem."

Harumi took a good look around the cell and then turned to Naruto who had just bitten his finger and ran it across what they both originally thought was a weird tattoo.

A moment later a brush appeared with a poof of smoke.

"So…" He looked turned to them both. "Where do you want that explosion?"

"Hold that thought Naruto-kun…" Naruto showed a little bit of surprise with Harumi's sudden familiarity, but Harumi had firmly turned her attention to Aya.

"The last target works for ANBU right?"

Aya scratched her chin and mumbled out, "Yes I guess he does. Mom did mention something about him being one of those ANBU interrogators." Aya's comment was added with the slight widening of her eyes.

"And we _are_ currently in the upper floors of the ANBU Holding and Interrogation block…"

Aya's lit up with comprehension.

"He's in this building probably! He was deep ANBU, so there's no way he just bailed on the village."

A frown spread across her face.

"But, if we do blow our way out like blondie says he can, it would be hard as hell to get back in..."

Harumi showed an honest-to-Kami grin. It wasn't of Naruto-caliber but it was as much as one as she would ever show.

"And that's exactly why we are not leaving…"

"So you want me to blow up the bars?" Naruto interjected.

"Nope!" she chimed with a smile.

"Then what am I blowing up?!"

"This wall of course." She gestured to the wall the cot was set up against with a little flourish, as if showing off some item for sale.

"But…" Naruto started. "How are we going to not leave, if the only way we have to leave makes us …leave?"

"Nice one, _Mr.Eloquent_." Aya cut in, to which Naruto stuck out his tongue to.

"Leave that to me Naruto-kun." Harumi stepped right up the bars that the key lay behind and took a meditation position.

She took in a calming breath before saying, "Get to work on that explosion, Naruto-kun."

Naruto and Aya could only blink with an inquisitive look for a few moments before Naruto nodded dumbly.

Naruto sat crossed leg on the cot and set about making an explosive seal on the wall infront of him. A small explosion would be enough. These cells weren't meant for heavy stress.

Naruto always liked explosions. As he bit his thumb and dabbled his paint brush in his freshly drawn blood, he couldn't help but feel a little excitement. It took a while but he finally managed to be able to make an explosive seal from pure memory.

It was a testament to the awesomeness of sealing that he could place the seal on anything and make an explosion. It was commonly believed that an explosive note actually made the paper explode, but Naruto knew better. It was actually the ink directing the chakra in a certain way to make it well… a pop for a lack of a better word. Of course this pop happened to be a **lot** like an explosion. It wasn't the paper exploding, it was the seal itself.

Naruto likened it a balloon being filled with too much air, until it exploded. Then again, balloons popping didn't mutilate and send people flying through the air.

As Naruto made a few gentle strokes (which added in a delay to the explosion) he could help but think about his recent project.

Exploding cards. Easy in theory, hard as fuck in practice.

It wasn't so much he couldn't get a card to explode. It was more the fact that when seals were meant to work together, they had to be connected and mesh much like a jigsaw puzzle. The standard seal for explosion notes did **not** work well with hardening and weighting seals that Naruto used on his cards.

Truthfully, making seals was nowhere near as hard as making seals that could work together properly. That's why exploding notes were easy to make even by Chuunin. One seal equals one boom.

Naruto needed more from his _Exploding Cards_ though. He needed to be able to get some distance with 

a throw, make it stick, AND then explode in a fountain of explody greatness.

He had to admit though, his experiments yielded interesting results. His _Flash Cards_ were an utter accident. He got the bright light of an explosion, dozens fold. He just wasn't exactly sure how. Seals were fickle and he was no master. Yet.

He put the finishing touches on the main seal, but quickly started adding another one for direction. It wouldn't do well for the blast to come right at them, if they were still in the cell that is.

That was another awesome thing. Seals could always get better. They could always just be better.

He mused to himself as he added the lines that would forcefully redirect the explosion,_ 'Didn't the old man say something about the sky being the limit?'_

Naruto wasn't sure about that. The sky was awfully low limitation to set for himself.

He took a step back and looked at his finished product but he couldn't help but cock his head to the side.

Something was... wrong.

But what was it…

_'Crap…'_

The seals were red. He had, completely without thought, made them with chakra infused blood.

It's another common misconception that seals are just thrown together and you shoot some chakra in. Most people who make their own tags at least know that its chakra infused ink that needs to be used. The material you use to make a seal is much more important than most people realize.

What happens with ink doesn't necessarily mean you will get the same results with blood. He wouldn't say blood seals were more brutal, but they usually carried a certain… edge. Rougher in a sense.

He had never actually made an explosive seal with blood before. It would, by law, do the same thing. The chakra would spin, and the explosion, if there was one, would be directed away from them. Then again, they could also fizzle out and make a poof of smoke that happened to be spinning.

His thoughts were interrupted by a sound and a rather loud one at that.

"Hurry the fuck up Whiskers! We got a deadline!" Aya hollered out, half enthusiastic and half angry.

Naruto spun around and found himself looking at his team mates standing outside the cell, putting on 

their gear.

"How did you…?"

"Stop gawking! Set the explosion up and let's roll! Chop chop!"

Naruto found his weapon pouch, cards and all, flying at his face. Harumi was already taking careful strides down the corridor. She had the required items in hand, but something seemed a bit off about her. He just couldn't place it.

_'Was her hair always…'_

He shook his head rapidly to clear his thoughts.

_'Damn, stop wasting time. Gotta be a Genin and reach Hokage!'_

He swiped his hand along the bottom of the seal, sending chakra into motion. In a minute or two he would have an explosion and his team would be on their way to the final objective.

He would later reflect and reason that it was a mistake to forget about his little mishap with the blood seal.

He raced down the hall way, trailing slightly behind to latch on his pouch.

He would then reason that some mistakes were better off made, as they can often produce some of the most interesting results. This would happen far too often in his life.

* * *

It was one thing to put three _ninja_, and they were as far as she was concerned, in a civilian cell. It was, on the other hand, a whole different thing to actually overlook such evidence as their equipment being gone when they _supposedly_ left through the wall and _supposedly_ never got the door open.

She was feeling a migraine starting. If Yuugao Uzuki hated anything more than karaoke, it was plain, outright stupidity. ANBU were professionals, above all else. This day had been disappointing to say the least when it came to her former colleagues.

Uzumaki wasn't even questioned on why he was at the Hokage's estate! For all they knew it could have 

been a spy taking advantage of the boy's privileges. Then again, it could be chalked up to them actually chasing and speaking to the boy. Naruto wasn't the easiest person in the world to imitate when it came to certain things.

As much as she was frustrated with ANBU, she couldn't help but swell with pride about her team. Even though she had taught basically nothing, she still felt somewhat proud of them. They had passed the part of her test that she honestly hadn't expected them to.

Well… they might have passed. She was actually going to go check right now.

They had to have a reason to escape, so she deduced they must have not passed the test. It was also reasonable that the reason they stayed inside the building was that they knew that the one target or one of the targets they missed worked here.

So with little doubt, Yuugao walked far-too-casually through the Interrogation and Torture Unit's main facilities. She hoped they found their way to his office, it wasn't like his name was displayed in big shiny letters on his door. This _was_ ANBU.

She hoped, slightly, that he wouldn't start torturing them. They most likely broke into his office and just…

"**Vesti la guibba!**" A loud soprano voice reached her ears. It was singing, but with this line of thinking the screeching of a thousand cats in a sack being beaten with brooms is very similar to the sweet singing of birds on a Sunday morning.

_'Damn…'_ was her only thought as she rushed to her student's aid.

**"La faccia infarina!"**

She took a sharp left and ran right by a man holding his ears on the ground.

**"La gente paga e rid-"** Her thrown kunai ended the man's impromptu concert.

His hand held the kunai an inch from connecting with his face. He slowly made a dramatic turn to her.

This revealed a scarred man wearing a bandanna.

Her three students were all strapped into chairs, mouths gagged and looking in varying degrees of disarray. Naruto was on the ground and judging from his face she would say he had been banging it on the floor. Aya's eyes were closed tight and she was mumbling something that sounded through the gag like "my happy place."

Harumi seemed to be doing the best though as she was frowning through her gag with… disappointment. Yuugao Uzuki cut that branch of thought off the moment it began. This way lead to madness.

The man slowly lifted a weird hand that a large disk spun under. This somehow produced music out a funnel on top, which the man loved and many others in ANBU... well some words are better left unsaid.

It was one of the reasons the scarred interrogator had a sound proof room, but a certain team thought breaking down the door would be a _wonderful_ idea.

"People don't always have to throw a weapon at me to get me to stop, you know," the scarred man said.

"People do not _always_ throw a weapon at you, Ibiki-san." Yuugao calmly said as she smoothed back her hair and regained her composure.

"Some people are tied down."

"Point." Yuugao seceded.

"I'm guessing these little hellions are yours?"

"Yes, I assume that they did not succeed in their objective?"

Ibiki gestured to his desk right behind him where very clearly lay an unmarked Icha-Icha (Volume 3: Paradise Bonanza Edition) and a dagger with a small tag that displayed the words _"You have been warned Perverts of the Leaf"_ very clearly. Yuugao never did fancy herself as a wonderful linguist.

"No?" Ibiki ventured a guess. The dagger was not piercing the book, so sadly…

"No." admitted Yuugao. Suddenly all three of the students looked depressed, well less so Naruto seeing as he was still dazzed from forcefully ejecting Ibiki's _singing _(if one could call it that) from his head. "But never the less, they did pass my exam."

Two pairs of bewildered eyes looked back at her. Those gags did wonders to muffle Aya's following outrage. Though the rocking back and forth on the legs of her chair did nearly make her follow Naruto's example.

The blond haired boy seemed to finally have collected himself and she had a moment to speak with them incapacitated.

"Now that you are officially my team, it is a good time to see what I have to work with."

Ibiki loved messing with people far too much for his own good though.

"Ahh, a combat test. I think that deserves a song!" Ibiki said with a bit too much cheer injected into it. He was already reaching for his strange contraption.

Yuugao barely stopped Naruto from relieving himself of consciousness thought.

* * *

Grass, as it was decided by a one Naruto Uzumaki, was the comfiest thing in the world. Well, this grass was. It might have helped that he hadn't exactly slept much in the past twenty-four hours. A little.

Training ground #42 was familiar to Naruto. He had actually used it several times since he tested his first "battle card" here. It was a pretty simple training ground. It was right next to the left side of the Hokage Monument, so to his right a cliff rose up. He supposed with a good enough grip you could climb up the side, which would be pretty cool. Like nearly every other Training Ground, trees were abundant here. A small shack was located right up against the cliff face and Naruto could only guess what was held in there. Maybe the several of the strange blocks of wood beside it had something to do with it. A small pond was adjacent to the shack and clear across the other side of the field Naruto and his team currently lay in.

Yuugao wasn't lying down of course, but the three youths were rather tired. Yuugao in her infinite generosity let them all sleep after she got them out of ANBU custody. A total of 4 hours though, which in the long run was surprisingly little.

Yuugao also made a bit of a wardrobe change. She changed out of her standard ANBU gear and had adopted a Jouning vest modified to hold a sword strapped to the back more easily.. The rest was non-descriptive Shinobi gear, though she still had on her ANBU forearm guards.

So three sleepy pre-teens stared at their teacher, even if she hadn't taught them much of anything.

"You did well."

Well that perked them up a little bit.

"Much better than I expected, in fact."

They didn't know they were in for a treat as Yuugao Uzuki didn't regularly give praise.

"Though, you still failed the assigned mission."

"But you didn't expect us to pass!"

Aya, such a youthful individual, always making her opinion known.

"That does not mean you were supposed to not try and succeed. ANBU are occasionally given missions they are not expected to succeed in but it is still their duty."

Naruto stifled a yawn before speaking, "And what's those ANBU guy's gotta do with us?"

"A lot more than you would think." A small smirk formed across Yuugao's face. A smirk that Naruto knew well and Harumi used often. A smirk that almost screamed "I know something you don't!".

"What do you mean by that sensei?"

"Well, to put it simply: You three are going to be training specifically for ANBU duty."

That was actually a bit of a wakeup call.

Aya was quickly on her feet doing a little jig that no respectable women would be caught doing in public.

"Hell yea!" She cheered. ANBU was as ninja as it got, and as far as she was concern this was the best thing since… well… ever!

Naruto's head was cocked to the side and his mouth agape before his brain started processing this. A grin soon found it's way to his face though.

_'Awesome! I can get a cool mask and I don't even need to swipe the cloaks from the drunken ANBU at the __**Koi**__! Free cloaks, cool masks, and...'_ Naruto's brain went into over drive. _'...And free cloaks!'_

"And why exactly are we being trained for ANBU?" Trust Harumi to ask the questions that need to be asked. The girl didn't look exactly opposed to it. More curious than anything.

"Excellent question. Aya-san has already expressed a great deal of interest in ANBU life, so she is an obvious choice." She motioned to the still dancing girl.

"Hell yea I am!"

"You and Naruto-san on the other hand offer a skill set highly prized in ANBU."

"I/We do?" Were the two responses, from Naruto/Harumi respectively.

"Yes, in fact." She addressed the raven-haired girl first. "Harumi-san, your chakra control surpasses most of your Kunoichi peers and show a great deal of promise as a combat medic. You have commendable skills in evasion and misdirection, which are both very important to medics in the field."

Her attention turned to Naruto as the girl digested the info. "Your skills are actually quite sought after. Your skill in seals would be incredibly useful to ANBU in general as they have lacked a proficient Seal Master since Jiraiya of the Sannin left his post as ANBU Commander several years ago." Which was true. There were several people proficient in sealing, such as the 4th Hokage and Kakashi Hatake but no true Masters.

Naruto's eyes were comically wide. "But…" Naruto scratched the back of his head. "Seals aren't that hard…" He said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Even Harumi and Aya (mid dance mind you) turned to look at the boy. If they hadn't seen him show his skills in sealing earlier they would have been skeptical of the boy's talent, but as it stands it's actually rather irrefutable.

Yuugao was blinking, eye brow now arched. _'This boy…'_ She resisted the urge to sigh.

"Actually Naruto-kun, seals are quite hard to craft or even understand."

The whiskered boy turned to Harumi who had just spoken. He gave her a blank look.

"No they aren't." He seemed very serious.

"Yes, yes they are."

"Oh come on, you just haven't been shown how to do them right!" Naruto said, rather matter of factly. He even nodded his head, assured of his rightness.

"Naruto, trust me. Aya or me could not have made that explosion seal back there in the cell, especially from memory. I doubt we could even have made the storage seal you kept the brush in."

Naruto's head cocked to the other side. "But I messed that seal up! The explosion seal reacted violently with the direction seal. I could have blown up half the building just cause I made it with blood instead of ink!"

Aya, Harumi and even Yuugao went a little wide eyed.

Naruto began mumbling under his breath and scratching his chin. "Then again, I didn't put enough chakra into them for that. They still shouldn't have reacted so violently though…" Naruto Uzumaki, deep in thought, was not a sight that many got to see. The rest of Team 3 was oblivious to this. "Maybe if I had used a three point seal instead of a…" Naruto seemed to pause before he seemed to seize up.

He let out a breath that sounded far too pleasurable, a crazy, joyful glint flashed in his eyes. "I think… I have an idea."

"Well you can hold it." Naruto rounded on Yuugao who was seemed to all of a sudden tower over them. "We have an important matter that needs to be gotten to."

The women seemed to be counting them off, as she bobbed her head while looking from one to the other. She also could be possibly saying something. She finally stopped on Aya, the girl who suddenly felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.

"Your combat test begins now."

Yuugao's image flicked and Aya found herself with a viscous kick to the gut from where she was seated. Aya recovered in an instant and sped towards her sensei. The women remained unmoving though she did hold her hand up a little, towards the oncoming fiery girl.

She had to jump back though as several cards passed right by where she was but a moment ago. Yuugao noted that the cards embedded themselves in a tree. Aya was already a few feet away from her by the time she focused back.

Aya went for a low punch, as her other hand fell into her Kunai pouch. Yuugao sidestepped the punch and as the other hand came up with a Kunai intent to hit her abdomen, she grabbed the wrist and wrenched the blade from the smaller girl's hand.

"You need to come at me with the intent to kill. If you do not, you will fail this test as well." It never hurt to bait a little.

Aya's knee rose to the occasion, but Yuugao chose to pivot to the left and fling her student over head. Aya tumbled to the ground, but managed to gain her footing. Aya's obvious look up in the air alerted Yuugao to rain. A rain of metal and paper that is.

She used Shushin to move sideways, faster than the genin's eyes could follow.

"Aya you gave away their attack far too easily. That might have won you the fight." Might have.

She bent low as several more cards came flying right through where her body was a moment ago. She was actually rather reluctant to clash kunai and card. She wasn't so sure her kunai would win.

She stood up straight and dusted herself off in a very non-chilante way. _'Kakashi-dono rubbed off on me more than I thought.' _She though with a small smirk. Nothing agitated ninja more than not being taken seriously. Especially ones like Aya and Naruto

The latter was surprisingly on top of her first and was rearing back with a punch.

As she caught it barehanded, she couldn't help but notice that his taijutsu was abysmal even if he did have noticeable strength for a boy his age. His right hook would be mean in a few years.

"You should punch with your whole body, not just with your arm and shoulder." She casually kicked the young boy to the side, but didn't have a second to rest. Aya was on her again, this time attempting to sweep her legs out from under her.

Yuugao wasn't proud of many things. Not because she had little to be proud of, but she just didn't see much use in it. She was however, very proud of her legs. If someone were to ask Hayate the thing he liked most about Yuugao's body, she of course wouldn't be around at the time, he would answer almost immediately _"Her legs"_. She has very nice legs. Very strong legs. She liked to think of kicking as a way of showing off her legs.

She showed off her legs to Aya at that moment by sending a kick to the girls chest. The girl blocked with her arms crossed over her chest in an X. The girl cursed as she tumbled backwards.

"I would advise blocking a strike from a physically superior opponent, especially a kick."

"Fuck you!"

As Naruto and Aya recovered, Yuugao's eyes swept the area. She was looking for the last member of the trio who had so far only thrown several shuriken.

She tumbled to the left, narrowly avoiding several kunai from said girl. The purple headed women rounded and flicked to behind her last student.

The women grabbed a handful of midnight colored hair and brought the younger one of the duo to her knees.

"Your hair is too long, though stuffing it down your collar does help." Yuugao commented as she held up her hand stopping her other two students in their tracks. "You will have to wait till I am finished."

"You have long hair as well…" The girl struggled for a second, causing Yuugao's grip to tighten. "Sensei." 

She begrudgingly added... though something at the fringes of the voice seemed off.

"I usually put it up in a pony tail, or just cut it off if a mission is long enough." Yuugao's internal thoughts picked up on something. _'Her hair is much longer than I thought. How far is it tucked into her…'_

"But didn't you say…" The girl stopped struggling and Naruto looked rather confused. Yuugao could only guess it was because of the look on Harumi's face which Naruto was staring at. Aya on the other hand was grinning as if someone around her just didn't get an inside joke.

"That I was just suppose to be the medic-nin in the back, hoping I do not get targeted?" The voice carried venom very uncharacteristic of the girl. That was the first tip to Yuugao that something was wrong. The second was...

Yuugao's eyes widened as black hair just seemed to flow over her arm and latch on. The girls hair was MUCH longer than Yuugao originally thought. It even gave enough room for the girl to spring forward on her hands and thrust a kick straight into Yuugao's gut, and she did just that.

Yuugao let out un-effeminate grunt as she jumped back and ignored the hit. The hair ceased its hold luckily.

"That was…" Yuugao started as everyone in the field watched as the elegant young girl's hair seemed to **braid** itself into two different strands. "Unexpected."

The girls chakra control, if anything, was understated. She doubted she could make the hair move in such a way even though she had better control than the girl, most due to her time spent on it.

Her hair was down to her knees easily and was dipping into her kunai pouch. A kunai came out with each braid and she worked her hair around the handles until only the blades protruded.

"You want intent to kill?" The calm girl asked.

Aya's grin got a bit more maniacal as the raven braids rose and wielded the kunai like some demented snakes. An interesting development indeed.

Aya chose to express her feelings for the other young girl on her team, "I knew I liked you for a reason Harumi-chan!"

Naruto, after recovering from his team mates strange display, had a card positions between each finger. He grinned a foxy grin that reminded Yuugao of the reason those whiskers were there.

"That kick hurt sensei." Naruto faked outrage and went as far as to pout.

Yuugao stared at her three students for a moment before coming to a conclusion.

They were getting cocky.

Pride, ok.

Confidence, alright.

Cockiness? No. That wouldn't do.

Yuugao reached over her shoulder, and with a click she unsheathed her blade.

That wouldn't do at all.

* * *

Naruto let himself fall back on the bed. He would be the first to admit that he didn't live in the lap of luxury. Most of the things he owned were second hand or just plain crappy. His bed was pretty plain at best. It wasn't exactly bad though, but he wouldn't say it was insanely comfortable.

That didn't matter much at the moment because a bed of rocks would feel heavenly.

He had decided that Yuugao-sensei (as he shall refer to her from now on and forever) was strong. It's one thing to take on all three of them at the same time and working up a slight sweat. It's another thing entirely to do it while verbally (and physically once in Aya's case, which was quite funny) correcting everything they were doing.

The woman was relentless and definitely earned her Jounin rank. Then again, it was the only time he had went up against a ninja of that caliber. She didn't use a sword in a flashy manner but he couldn't deny the prowess she showed.

His team mates weren't slouches either though, that became apparent. He didn't know how Harumi did that crazy stuff with her hair but he'd be damned if some of it was awesome. Flinging kunai with your hair is pretty cool. Yuugao-sensei didn't seem to appreciate it though, which was plain to see after she cut the girls hair down to half its original size. Aya got a sucker punch in right after that so it couldn't really be counted as a loss.

Speaking of Aya, she was probably the scariest girl on the team. She was just pissed and viscous the entire fight, even if outmatched by her sensei when it came to Taijutsu.

Naruto's eyes snapped open.

"What tha…?"

Naruto stared up at the ceiling and made a realization. It was as if dawn had just come and showed him a path that wasn't apparent before.

He was on a team with ALL girls. All of them. As in, every single one.

Naruto was a bit young for romance, but he knew he found girls attractive sure. They just tended to… be… he wouldn't say scary. Just… unpredictable.

Sort of like a new seal.

"Like…a…" He sat straight up in his bed.

He had nearly forgotten. Nearly.

The floor board under the side of his bed was gone in a moment. The next an old, familiar book was uncovered and was being leafed through.

"It…" His eyes were narrowed and staring at the corner where the page number was. "is…" He bite his lip a moment.

"Right here!"

He stared down at a seal. It was pretty simple, basic seal. It was actually a part of the original book which in of itself is surprising. Most example seals had been scribbled out and replaced with newer ones that were better. It was left for a simple reason though.

It was an example of a seal that utterly and totally didn't work with any other seals. It simply screwed the other seals up in same way or another. It was pretty much the asshole of seals. It just didn't work well with others.

One might ask, what possible use would this seal be? Could it maybe make a vortex of some sort. Made for sealing a specific item of great importance perhaps? Not really.

It dried cloths. It is actually used for disrupting other seals even more though. Most of the time it made the other seal fizzle out or simple not work. Then there were other times where it could react rather

…Violently.

Naruto was quickly sketching out the seal on a piece of paper.

He scratched his chin. "Now…?"

He shrugged and put began putting down a small locking seal. The other seal wasn't of real consequence at the moment. He just had a hunch.

**Crack!  
**  
His window shouldn't exactly crack like that but it wasn't exactly like he opened it much. Open windows invited rocks or stink bombs. Hell, his windows open or not invited rocks.

The paper, now in the shape of a shuriken, was sailing through the air. The next moment a small pop was heard and it seemed to fizzle. It fell to the ground, smoke trailing behind it.

"Close." Naruto murmured out with a grin.

"Soon my pretties." He cooed the next second as he rubbed his face on a blank deck of cards that appeared if by magic. "Soon…" His grin got a bit mad.

"Explosions everywhere!" Several people across the village felt a shiver go down their spine.

* * *

Aya and Harumi could only stare at the strange spectacle before them. Well, Aya was laughing her ass off.

They had been given possibly the most _wonderful_ first mission in the history of first missions. Find Tora, the Fire Daimyo's cat. Pretty simple, right?

NOT!

Yuugao-sensei had called it a "tactical tracking exercise". She also had decided that with each D-Rank mission a secondary object or task would need to be completed. For instance they were required to find Tora within three hours or they would be having another fun little sparring session with their Sensei.

So, at 7 o'clock in the morning Team 3 set off. At approximately 9:43 contact with the target was made, 

even though it was rather unorthodox.

There aren't many D-Ranks that require one to flee but Team 3 was making it a habit of unorthodox methodology.

So Naruto dashed out from the alley and into view of his two team mates who we scouring the area from above. The cat was in hand so Aya cheered at first. Harumi would as well if she hadn't taken note of the small bag held in the cat's mouth.

Then the other cat's came.

Cat nip to cats, is a joyous little substance. It seemed that Tora had gotten his hands on some prime cut too. Well, the other cats obviously felt it was his obligation to share.

A meowing mass of cats poured out of the alley right after Naruto. This is the moment when Aya would start laughing.

So Naruto ran, and the cats chased, and Tora was happy and Aya laughed.

Then Naruto threw the exploding note.

Several veteran (and also quite senile) ninjas made attacks on random people that day. They thought they were under attack.

* * *

**Later, the same day.**

* * *

"Wait, can you say that again. I must have misheard you…" Aya made an attempt at a small chuckle after her statement.

Yuugao unlocked the tall shed in training ground #42 and began dragging out… a blade?

"You will be…" She huffed and showed obvious signs of intense effort as she hefted one of several large blades out of the shed. It was easily twice as long as she was tall and just as thick. They were straight as an arrow and a hole was at each end. "Blade-walking." She smoothed back a strand or two of hair that had fallen over into her line of sight.

"Blade walking?" Aya and Naruto asked in confusion.

"Yes." She answered back as she, with a decent amount of strain fitted the blade into two of many wooden blocks rooted to the ground. The holes fitted up neatly and it obvious it was a locking mechanism as she fitted a plug like piece of metal.

"Now that you know how, get two more and put them in place." She stood back with her arms crossed, waiting expectantly.

She stared straight at them, her eyes not giving an inch up to their dumbfounded looks.

They quickly began heaving two more similar blades. They found out rather quickly that these blades were heavy and that when pressured Yuugao-sensei was apparently pretty strong.

When they were done with that task.

"Now take off your shoes."

The three just stood there staring at their sensei.

"It is not nearly as bad as it sounds." She made a dismissive gesture. This was their queue to take off their shoes. "And I doubt you would want to cut your shoes to pieces, either." This caused some pause.

"Now listen and listen carefully, as I will say this once and only once." This caused the barefooted Genin to stand at attention.

"Blade walking is not an often used method of chakra training, but it is without a doubt effective. People tend to think of it as dangerous but it is no more dangerous than tree walking and even safer with the proper equipment."

"Tree walking?" Naruto interrupted.

"Worry about that at a later time." She let out a small amount of killing intent. "And don't interrupt again."

She withdrew six pads that seemed just about the right size to be placed under a foot. A small strap was attached to each pad.

"Now these little objects are important to beginners of Blade walking, as they are a very sturdy material that is very, very easy to push chakra through. This will prevent you from being cut from your foot 

upwards for now." Her team's eyes bugged out a little.

"I do not expect perfection on first attempts." This relieved some of the Genin's anxiety. "…Yet."

They skeptically began placing the pads on.

"Now, blade walking is a chakra control exercise that affects two things. One, precision. The foot is theoretically the hardest place to channel chakra so in a sense if you master control over chakra in your foot you could master it anywhere. Two, quantity. Blade walking is very chakra intensive, even for those with good chakra control. So those with low chakra reserves will deplete their own fast and begin building up more."

She motioned to Naruto. "You represent one side of the spectrum that this exercise benefits." She then indicated to Harumi. "And you the other."

"And I fall somewhere in the middle." Aya threw in as she strapped the other pad like thing on.

"Correct and the same that goes for Naruto, goes for you." Aya sweat a little under Yuugao's glare.

"Now the premise is simple." She casually strolled over to one of the propped up blades. She then stepped up on the blade. It wasn't exactly sharp but that's not to say it was dull. And she stood on it like it was nothing.

"Simply expel chakra from your foot, or you could go so far as to place a layer of chakra over your foot."

She forgot to mention that they will be more motivated to do well for no other reason than they don't want to have their foot sliced off. That was actually one of the several reason it fell into disuse… in Konoha at least.

They all stared intently at the display and began working through it in their own way.

A few moments later they were all positioned at what could be called the starting point.

"Begin." Called out their sensei as she sharpened a Kunai from a tree she was leaning on several feet away.

They all slid a foot slowly onto the blades edge. In a good show of intelligence (or survival instinct), they took their time with the first step.

Naruto showed initiative, or stupidity, when he took a whole step onto the blade and brought his feet side by side. He grinned for an instance before his feet just seemed to slide off the blade. Off OPPOSITE sides of the blade.

As the three female women starred at Naruto holding himself up with his arms and his legs very close to a split they couldn't help but wonder that maybe the reason this exercise fell into such disdain in Konoha was simply because every Hokage was male. They, like all red-blooded males, were rather attached to their balls.

* * *

"Ok ok ok, and why the hell would that work to begin with?" A loud, female voice all but hollered out.

"Because it makes perfect-freakin-sense!" An equally loud, only male and younger voice answered back.

The four other members of a table seemed to have scooted as far away from the two as possible, giving them both ample table room at the small tea shop that had become progressively empty.

Yuugao had decided to introduce her team to her friends. Yuugao wasn't much for friends but there were a select few people whose company she genuinely enjoyed. Two such people were Anko Mitarashi and Kurenai Yuhi. They had tea often and one such get together happened the same week she took her team.

Seemed pretty simple. Team, friends. Friends, team.

She had made a miscalculation it appeared. Anko plus Naruto plus enclosed space equals… well…

"I'm not listening to this crap! What you're saying makes no sense!" Did you add in that both had a healthy dose of theoretical and practical seal knowledge? Naruto had mentioned something to her about sealing and that lead to a little shouting which led to a lot of shouting.

"Ok, shut it! Just shut up!" Naruto produced a brush and some ink.

Anko, as in the loud and brash Anko, crossed her legs and **quietly** listened to an 11-year-old boy explain something. If the sky was in clear view, both Kurenai and Yuugao would be checking for four guys on horses riding around up there.

Naruto began laying a seal right down on the table. "Now this, standard seven point seal right?"

"Yea yea, hurry the fuck up brat."

"I'm getting to it!" He shot back while rising a little bit. Anko had a way with children it seemed as Naruto immediately became obedient the moment one of Anko's kunais began spinning around her finger.

"Ummm…" He gulped. "Yea." He quickly began to lay out a second seal beside it.

"HA! See!" Anko jumped up from the table and pointed down at it. "Six point seals don't work right with seven!"

"Exactly!"

"Ok you lost me."

"They don't work well together, as in they don't play nice together." He grinned as he stated this and began adding a few more lines that seemed to surround the two seals.

Anko looked as if she just had a revelation. "No fucking way."

"Yes fucking way!" Yuugao began wondering if Anko had just corrupted one of her students.

Aya it seemed had enough. "OK, what the hell are you two talking about!?"

It seemed to have just occurred to the two that they weren't the only people in the world.

"Errr…" He looked down at the two seals.

He motioned towards the seals. "It's kinda an unspoken rule that when two or more seals work together their points cannot add up to thirteen."

"It's not that they don't work specifically, they just don't work right." He nodded to himself.

"Alright, but what does that mean they do exactly? And what do the other lines you added mean?" asked Kurenai.

"Well…" Naruto started but was stopped by Anko Mitarashi's hand.

"Allow me." She stated almost formally. Naruto shrugged before leaning back in his chair. Anko stood and took the floor.

"Let's say that seals are like women." Anko's voice took on a lecturing tone as she brought her hands 

together in a clasping manner.

"Now these two seals." She made a sweeping motion towards the seals. "Are both crazy bitches."

Everyone felt the strange need to slam their heads into the floor at that moment.

"Now, these two crazy bitches hate each other." Naruto seemed to catch on to the picture Anko was trying to explain, as he began nodding… or he just wanted to look like he knew what was going on.

"They have so much hate that they don't work together and even go so far as to react violently." She smiled in a knowing manner.

"Let's say that these lines here…" She began tracing the lines with one hand and the other reached up to stroke her chin in an overly dramatic manner. "Are a hallway or corridor of sorts." She let out a small smirk.

"Two women and an enclosed space." Her smirk turned into a grin.

After a moment of digesting the info the four women showed various signs of understanding.

"But what does it do? What use is it?" Harumi spoke up.

A flicker and a card embedded itself in the middle of the table.

Anko eyebrows shot up, her grin not going down a notch.

"Two words." Naruto grinned.

"Exploding cards." Naruto said the words out slowly, tasting the words. From the look on his face that tasted quite good.

Anko's grin reached the level that it began to scare small children and animals. If they were honest with themselves at the table, it scarred them a bit to.

"I love this kid Yuu-chan!" and Anko glomped Naruto.

* * *

"Oh Uzuki-san. You are a bit late, but you are in luck."

A purple brow quirked.

"Someone directly asked for Team 3 for a mission." A non-descriptive Chuunin shuffled through several folders on his desk.

Most Chuunin spent one time or another working at the missions office. It was hazing of sorts for anyone wanting the title of Elite Chuunin.

"Really now?" The Jounin showed some surprise. She didn't have much of an idea who would directly ask for them.

"Yea I know, who could ever ask for those little punks must be mental." The chuunin noted as he still looked through his scattered desked.

"We are right here you jerkwad." Aya scowled. "And it's obvious the client knows quality when they see it!"

Yuugao decided not to even touch that one.

"Ah-ha!" A folder was produced and handed over to the resident Jounin. With a cheeky smile the chuunin waved them off. "Have fun."

"Well sensei, what awesome task does are talents require?" Aya flexed a little with the statement.

Naruto felt a strange shiver go down his spine, drawing him away from staring at one of his cards. He glanced over just into to hear Yuugao speak.

"It just asks for help with a business for a few hours, nothing overly difficult… though it is strange." She was still reading with narrowed eyes, that is before her head came back and she turned to Harumi. "A relative of yours?" She said giving the girl a glance at the document.

Harumi seemed to seize up in a very uncharacteristic way and Naruto once again felt that shiver. This time he felt something familiar in it.

Dread.

"Yes I do." Harumi's lips thinned out to the point non-existence. "She is my mother."

* * *

"No." The three female members of Team 3 starred at their male cohort as he seemed to have a small break down at the site of their mission.

"You know this place, Naruto?" Yuugao asked with a quirked eyebrow.

He utterly ignored his sensei in favor of turning to Harumi. "Y-y-your moms-"

"NARU-CHAN!" His mouth stood agape as he turned to a source a much ire for him.

"You!" He pointed an accusing finger at the woman that appeared infront of him. "But-"

He spun around to point at Harumi, then looked back at the woman. "H-how?"

"Well, when a man and a woman-"

"I KNOW HOW!!"

"Then what's the problem, my dear little Rei-chan?" Even Yuugao's mouth opened a little as the strange woman who was apparently Harumi's mother and their client, Sumairu Kuro, pulled her daughter to her side. It also became apparent to her that this woman had some strange connection with her other student and referred to him as Rei. "Come now, I haven't seen much of you two for months!"

Said blonde boy stumbled back as he realized that Harumi indeed looked like a smaller, much more proper and tamed version of Sumairu.

"B-but…" The boy seemed exasperated, trying to wrap his head around the idea. "YOU'RE A LESBIAN!"

* * *

It had been a strange time for the members of Team 3, they learned a bit more about certain members than they really wanted to. One such thing being that Harumi's mother was a die-hard lesbian and her father was one of the prettiest men that Sumairu had ever laid eyes on. One of those _'see how green the neighbor's grass is'_ kind of things.

Another was that apparently Naruto could apparently turn into a woman, or atleast Sumairu believed he could.

"I'm not doing it!"

"You have no choice my dear little Rei-chan," The woman put on an evil grin that villains wished for. "I hired you for help and help you shall!"

"I don't give a crap! I'm a ninja now, I don't need the money anymore!" Harumi and her team mates all got the wrong impressions of that statement.

Sumairu grinned triumphantly and pulled out her trump card. "But wouldn't a failed D-rank look bad on a future Hokage's record?"

"Oh that's was a good one." Aya commented expertly to Yuugao, who nodded in agreement.

"He is definitely cornered." Yuugao mumbled back. She nodded her head sagely. "Look at the defeated posture."

And defeated Naruto was. His shoulders slumped as he scowled and held out his hand.

"Glad you see it my way." She handed him his old uniform. "Oh yea I made a few… modifications."

The grin on her face promised that these modifications were in no way going to be beneficial to him, he grudgingly went to change though as Sumairu made her way to sit on several cushions in her homey office.

"Please take a seat ladies." She said with a sweeping motion towards several cushions infront of a small tea table.

After the four woman were situated and handed cups and awkward silence ensued.

Until.

"Mother."

"Yes?" Sumairu said from behind her tea with a smile

"What exactly does Naruto do for you?" Harumi seemed perturbed by this whole sequence of events. She originally thought her mother had hired her team because of her for some reason, but it became apparent it was for Naruto. She had no problem with that, but it still left her very curious of her teammates relationship with her mother.

"Well," She placed her tea down. "It could be for the fact that he is one of the best dealers I have ever had."

She didn't know it, but she just ridded Team 3 of a lot of awkward assumptions that they had made. Except for Harumi that is.

"Mother, do not play with me." The girl scowled. "You only hire female dealers and Naruto, I can say with some certainty, is not female."

"Oh my." A fan made it's way into the casino owners hands and fanned out to hide a grin that couldn't be held back. "You haven't seen _her_ yet."

"Her?" Yuugao took over the interrogation.

"Yes, one of Naru-chan's little tattoo techniques."

"You mean seals?" Yuugao took a moment to recall everything she knew of sealing, not much admittedly. There was one thing though. "Seals that turn him into a woman?"

A seal that turned a male into a female would have to be incredibly complex and only someone insanely skilled could even make it. Even then, the chakra control needed to directly control chakra in such a way to make it a proper female would be well beyond what Naruto is capable of.

" Yes, fully female I can say with _absolute_ certainty." She let out a small giggle that wasn't entirely un-perverse.

_'Then perhaps the Kyuubi has something to do with it.'_ Yuugao thought with a little dread. If he was already tapping into the Kyuubi's chakra, even unknowingly, he would need to be informed ASAP of the whole story.

"Well speaking of the vixen." The only thing keeping Yuugao from jumping up at the terminology Sumairu used was her will power born over years as a ninja.

They all craned their heads to find a blonde "girl" around 18 years old with impressive assets. "She" was wearing a standard outfit that they recognized from the dealers outside but with a few added… attractions. There were several slits in it, revealing more skin, and the usual tight pants were cut off much higher than usual.

"Whiskers?" Aya mumbled out the nickname with an upwards, questioning inflection.

"Yea, but no whiskers here." Which was true though the "girl" retained the blonde hair and blue eyes. 

Even the "girl's" voice was… bouncy. Even though "she" sounded pissed it still was strangely cute.

The Naruto-turned-girl sat down with them with a scowl drank some of the tea.

"See now doesn't that look better?" Sumairu asked Team 3 while waving towards Naruto, as if showcasing him-now-her. The "girl" scowled, still seeming cute. "Oh now that's not to say you aren't cute as little boy too."

A blonde eyebrow started twitching.

"Now, now Rei-chan we have business to take care of. We've got an event and you are going to be the prime dealer." The fan waved excitedly.

"Let me guess…" The "girl" mumbled out sourly. "A bunch of high rollers for a small event and you want me to milk them for all they got?"

"Correct except for the small part. You're going to be taking a lot of money from a lot of people."

And the evening from then on just got weirder for the rest of Team 3.

* * *

"Well, another mission well done." Aya acted as if she was brushing her hands off.

"What the hell are you talking about!? I did all the work." Naruto yelled with indignation.

"Yea, we should take missions like that more often. Harumi's mom is pretty awesome."

"I must admit." They turned to their sensei who was sipping something out of a glass with a small umbrella in it. "This was a nice little vacation mission, much better than my last."

"What are you drinking?" Naruto said with narrowed eyes.

"What?" The purple haired woman asked innocently. "They had an open bar."

Naruto felt the urge to slam his head up against the wall but settled for freaking out.

"I'm glad you guy's had fun while I worked!"

"You call that work?" Harumi asked honestly. "You just passed out cards and took their money."

"Well…"

"Speaking of that, how the hell did you cheat?" Aya interjected.

"He didn't." Yuugao pointed out while still sipping on the straw. "I would have caught him if he did. He must just be extremely lucky."

"And able to turn into a distracting woman." Harumi added.

"With double D's and who went bra-less." Aya pointed out.

"What does it matter if I went bra-less anyway?" Three sets of eyes just stared.

"Moving on." Yuugao said the moment before they resumed their trek back to the Mission's Office to report in.

"Hey! Don't ignore me! Tell me! I'm never taking a mission with you guy's again!"

"Funny, I was about to ask for our first C-rank. Oh well." Yuugao inserted that comment discreetly. At the three wide eyes she smiled with success on the inside. _'Topic change maneuver #37 complete. Evasion of highly awkward explanation to an 11-year-old boy successful.'_

"Wait no! Ple-" Aya's hand clamped over Naruto's mouth.

"What he means sensei is that your hair looks especially nice today. New shampoo?" Aya offered with a complacent smile. The beginning of puppy dog eyes could be seen.

Yuugao kept sipping her drink.

* * *

_**AN: And there that is. Anko is not a seal expert but she is adept at them. Orochimaru, an evil fucker no doubt, but I don't think you could ask for a better teacher. Anko ended up with a very good education.**_

**This is the first few real glimpses into how the team works. **

**Harumi comes from strange back ground with her mother as crazy as she is. Her mother is a lesbian yes, but I would think a few homosexuals would have a small interest in the opposite sex if the circumstances fit together correctly.Harumi's not excactly sane but it's always the quiet ones. I also think kunai wielding hair is awesome! She can't "grow" it at the moment, she can stretch it sort of with chakra but requires her to sit down and concentrate. She will how ever get better with it as she learns more about the body when learning medical things. She means to put the Combat in Combat Medic-nin. Guess who she is gonna fight in the Chuunin exams. Irony at it's best.  
**

_**Aya ended up with a rather raw deal in the fight scene as Yuugao primarly uses taijutsu or Kenjutsu. I've come to realize she is a strange SI, just with an temperamental amazon and Kenpachi's grin added into the mix. She used several lines this chapter that after the fact I realized I actually used in real life. She's funnily enough the most normal one of the team, which I find funny as she seems the weirdest at a glance.**_

**_Naruto isn't exactly smarter overall in this fic, though his skills in fuinjutsu will lead you believe otherwise. He's gonna become rather brilliant later on. Team 3 is gonna be good for him. He's gonna be a bit more cunning and think a little bit more before jumping into something. No master strategist though. Did I mention the flair for dramatics? Yuugao is gonna try to beat that out of all three and fail much to her shame._**

_**Next Chapter: The first C-Rank mission.**_


	5. Of L, E, and OFS

_**I know I said the C-Rank would be this chapter but I decided to build it up a little. Anyways, enjoy.**_

* * *

Cutting the Deck

**Chapter 4**

_**Of Lightning, Explosions and Other Fun Stuff**_

* * *

Naruto starred at his mirror, his hands locked in a handseal, channeling chakra throughout his body. He couldn't help but cock his head to the side at his view.

On his stomach lay a spiral seal, two four point seals surrounding it. They housed it for lack of a better word. It looked pretty simple, at first glance. Spirals were common, but upon a closer look…

He was utterly baffled.

Even with everything he knew (which while not exactly a lot was much more than your average ninja), he just couldn't make sense of the seal. It wasn't some super storage seal. It wasn't a locking, or even a containing seal (there is a difference between storage and containing believe it or not).

It shouldn't work. Well, it would work… it would do something. If he were to sketch it out right now, it would have some effect… maybe. He could even venture a view guesses, but it DEFINITELY wouldn't hold a being of immense power.

Maybe a minor demon, something more annoying than dangerous. More devious than destructive, but the walking disaster that is the Kyuubi no Kitsune?

"No chance in hell," Naruto admitted to his bathroom walls.

He stepped off his stool and sat down on the bathroom floor, the cool tile picking at his naked back. Goosebumps ran down his skin as he rumbled his chat with the Hokage and Yuugao around in his head. Yuugao actually smiled and laid a hand on his shoulder. A good attempt at being comforting from the woman.

He was actually pretty happy to have an explanation for a few things. Little differences between him and others that he didn't feel were just coincidences.

He always just assumed he was awesome.

While this was totally true, it explained a few things. The massive chakra reserves for one, the fast recovery for another. The whiskers made more sense now.  
_  
'Maybe that's why I like beef and chicken ramen better than vegetable?'_

The Hokage, after a long speech about how he was a hero (which basically translated into him being more awesome) and how the village people were afraid and scared or something like that(which made them less awesome), he asked if Naruto had any questions.

He had a few. He could have went with an Emo "Why do this to me?", but that wasn't his style. He went with a few simple ones that came out to a few more facts about himself. Namely, he was an orphan. 

Well he was before that, but that last bit sealed all chance of him finding his parents. The fourth apparently just found him, his parents likely dead.

This lead to the question that was on his mind at the time though.

* * *

**Earlier…**

* * *

"So the fourth made the seal?"

The third Hokage sweated for a second.

"Naruto you have to understand something about the technique that was used. It's been around long before Konoha and was likely one of the first forbidden jutsu that the world ever knew. It was forbidden for a reason, because it invoked a pact that all human's have."

Naruto would usually tune these parts out and replace it with "Blah blah blah, useless old wrinkled people stuff." But it's not every day you find out about a technique that can seal a being of immense power in an infant.

"It calls upon something that we all ultimately come face-to-face with and we barter the rest of our life to have it help us for one brief moment."

Yuugao didn't bother to hide her curiosity.

"Technically speaking, the Fourth didn't made the seal. He didn't even put it on you." The third shrugged. "The person who made the seal was the Shinigami, the God of Death."

"...So?"

* * *

Naruto didn't know what he knew now at that time. So it seems that whatever the Shinigami did was either something… godly. Or something very obscure, maybe using some sort of medium.

Naruto blanched at a thought, 'It did need a human sacrifice and that's never good.'

"Note to self," he said out formally, as if he was about to write down some great wisdom. "If it requires sacrifice, avoid it. Virgin's blood too for that matter."

He yawned as he hoisted himself up and made his way to his kitchen. Strewn out on his table was "The Idiot's Guide to Sealing", a few other books and scrolls of sealing he had gotten his hands on, and several of his own notes. Actually, it was quite a collection for a Genin.

He was kind of running out of room to put it. He could hide some of it, but hiding wasn't really required anymore. The only thing of real importance would be the Guide. Even then, if someone was in his house and could recognize the Guide's worth then he had bigger troubles.

He needed a proper place to put it all though.

Naruto let out a sigh. _'Yuugao-sensei has been telling me to be more proper and serious about my sealing.'_

Naruto paused for a second, in the middle of sorting and organizing some notes.  
_  
'Come to think of it, she's been pushing us all to get serious.'_

Naruto noticeably twitched. _'I don't wanna think about what her version of serious is.'_

Naruto had been going through for the past months what Yuugao referred to as "On Par" Training. Basically bringing them up in certain areas or certain skills that every ninja needed. He needed chakra control, Harumi needed better reserves, etc. etc.

They also learned counter-genjutsu, counter tracking, stealth, and several other skills that she believed that an ANBU should have. That of course didn't mean she neglected special training, she didn't forget that at all.

* * *

**Flashback!  
**

* * *

_"Naruto."_

_Said blonde boy looked up from a scroll and found his sensei towering over him._

_"You done with them already?" He glanced over at Harumi and Aya who were in the distance on opposite sides of the training ground. Harumi was reading about some medical jargin like always and Aya going through several seals while looking over another scroll._

_"I will actually be helping you personally today."_

_"Sweet! Special training!" Naruto lept to his feet with new found enthusiasm._

_Yuugao quirked an eyebrow and a small smirk appeared._

_"Yes, Naruto. You will have very special training…"_

_"Awesome! What is it? Awesome jutsu, sword fighting?" Naruto mocked holding a sword and swinging it around._

_Her smirk grew ever so slightly._

_"Sure, as soon as you punch me."_

_Naruto blinked, mid-fake-swing._

_"Punch you?"_

_"Yes, punch me."_

_Naruto put on his suspicious cap. He noticed he had it on a lot more than usual._

_"Why? A test?"_

_"Why not? Punch me and we will see how you do."_

_Naruto's eyes stayed narrowed even though he did step up and run at his sensei._

_He swiped at her with a left hook and…_

_She sidestepped it._

_"Try again." She urged with a little amusement obvious._

_Naruto growled and lunged, swinging for his sensei again. It was to no avail though as she grabbed his forearm and led him straight into the ground._

_"One more try." Naruto raised himself up and pivoted his body on the ball of his left foot, swinging around right for Yuugao's smug face._

_Yuugao held his fist very calmly, as if he wasn't trying to pummel her._

_"Now. Punch that tree."_

_"What? Why!?" Naruto questioned, snatching his hand away._

_"I figured a visual demonstration will work better and be more motivating, now punch the tree."_

_Naruto frowned but he once again complied. He dashed forwards and swung straight at the tree, sending some chakra into his limbs to make them harder and faster. The wood splintered in a little and Naruto found the skin of two of his knuckles scraped off._

_"Not bad…" Yuugao commented, she turned and walked over to a very similar tree._

_She stopped about three steps from the tree and took a deep breath._

_One step, two steps and-  
__**  
**__**CRACK!**_

_The wood around the purple-haired womans fist was concaved. Bent in from the fist, splintering everywhere. Over all a much harder hit._

_"That, Naruto, was a punch. What you did was nothing more than wild swiping and brawling."_

_Naruto nodded dumbly, staring at the damage. Yuugao wasn't extremely lithe. She had an undeniably female body but she also had some power._

_"I also didn't consciously use chakra in that punch."_

_Naruto's head cocked to the side, perplexed by how she could take two steps and do that while he got a _

_running start and… well… a fraction of Yuugao's damage._

_Naruto snapped out of his small stupor. "Wait, consciously?"_

_Yuugao made a miniscule shrugging motion._

_"Most ninjas get so use to channeling chakra into their body for speed and strength that they do it almost like a second nature."_

_"Oh… so will-"_

_"YEOW!" A large yelp of pain echoed through training ground #42. It was soon followed by a colorful string of words that began with "MOTHER…"._

_Yuugao blinked at the astonishing amount of profanity spewing from the girls mouth before inspecting the cause._

_Blackened tips of the hair. Check._

_Fried fringes of clothing. Check._

_Hand twitching involuntarily. Check._

_Either she massively overpowered the jutsu or she had an affinity for lighting. Perhaps a combination of both. If it was the latter, she got lucky finding that this early. Would make choosing jutsus to teach her easier._

_"I'll be right back, Naruto." She shook her head. "I have to stop your teammate from killing herself."_

* * *

**Flashback Over!**

* * *

Naruto stroked his chin in a pondering pose.

_'Maybe she wants us ready for that C-Rank.'_ He grinned for a second though._ 'Or maybe she wants Aya to stop frying herself with a new Jutsu.'_

He shrugged with a small chuckle, cleaning off the last bit of notes from the table. All that was left was a single card.

Naruto picked it up, turning it over. The Joker grinned back at him. With a smirk he tossed it, causing it to careen slowly through the air.

It hit a small bobble-head of the Nidaime Hokage (© _Grass's Famous Ninja Bobble-Head Emporium_) on top of Naruto's TV, causing it to shake it's head back and forth.

"Boom."

* * *

"Today, we are going to focus on individual training again. I have yet another scroll on cells you might be interested in…" Yuugao quirked an eyebrow as she was ignored by her students. "Harumi?"

Said girl took a quick glance before turning back to the small huddle her teammates made.

Mumbling could be heard and Yuugao caught several phrases such as "You tell her!", "Oh hell no, you do it", "This kunai, your face. They should meet.", and lastly "Oh, I will just tell her."

Harumi turned formally and walked up to her sensei while Aya and Naruto looked on like two cowed puppies.

"Sensei," She addressed Yuugao rather formally. "We believe we have reached the proper level of skill that would validate us-"

"Hurry up!" Aya and Naruto urged in unison, which quickly caused a bewildered look at eachother that was also in eerie unison.

Harumi just glanced back, Yuugao could feel the evil look she was giving them.

"As I was saying, we believe we are ready for a C-Rank Mission."

Yuugao looked at the other two and found them in agreement.

"Why do you believe that exactly?" She queried.

"C-Rank missions are mostly rather simple. Guard this, patrol that. If there is combat it is more often than not a few bandits that wouldn't be a threat to us."

"Well you said more often than not? What if it is one of those less often missions, perhaps running into some Nuke-nin hired to kill your employer?"

"Well, that's highly unlikely."

"Highly, but not entirely. My ANBU team was dispatched a few too many times to handle missions that had grown in rank either due to a lying or uninformed employer."

"In that case…" Yuugao leaned in expectantly. "…We have faith in your abilities, sensei."

Someone else would have frowned sourly at that point.

"I suppose that admirable but to be sent on a C-Rank I will need faith in the rest of my team's abilities." Someone else would have then smiled triumphantly.

"You wanna fight again don't you?" Naruto asked hesitantly from behind.

"Can you think of a better way to test your capabilities?" The woman questioned.

"Damnit." Aya mumbled loudly, the next moment her hands were flashing through several seals. "Move Harumi!"

Lightning sparked between her hands as she brought them to bare.  
_  
"Raiton: Shock Wave!_" A cascade of lightning arced from her spread hands, growing wider as it traveled forwards, stretching itself thinner.

Harumir did move, taking refuge in a tree. Yuugao didn't move but chose to duck deeply, nearly into a split, instead to avoid the wave. A kunai was in her hand in a moment, deflecting several cards.

She frowned as her high quality kunai was nicked deeply, but had little time to dwell on it. Aya was right behind the cards, two kunai held reverse.

Yuugao grabbed her arm in order to parry her to the side, but Aya had brought her leg up at the right moment catching her sensei's head. The woman stood firm though which resulted in Aya being held up by her sensei awkwardly for a brief moment.

The red haired girl immediately to went for a quick scissor kick, but was foiled as Yuugao opted to spin the girl to the side crashing into the ground.

"Damn." She mumbled from the ground.

Her sensei, luckily, found no time to for a snappy comment as she dodged several Kunai and cards from Harumi and Naruto respectively.

Aya had rolled back to her feet and was once again going through the same hand seals. She didn't bother calling out the name this time, sending a bit more chakra into the jutsu to give it a bigger radius.

She immediately went into a second set of seals.

Yuugao couldn't help but take notice that she aimed the jutsu to maneuver her away from Naruto and Harumi.

She let it work, momentarily though. She soon found Naruto in her face, and Aya arcing around to flank with sparks around her hands.

She was on the defensive, being back up slowly. She was redirecting or blocking Naruto's improved strikes and totally avoiding Aya's shocking hands.

"Your taijutsu has improved Naruto and it is good to see you got _Raiton: Shocking Hand_ down Aya."

"Thanks sensei," Naruto said with a grin and Aya grunted an affirmative as well.

Yuugao rarely dished out the feel goods though without some critique as well though.

"You are still sloppy Naruto and Aya you are wasting a lot of chakra keeping it up this long."

Naruto was still grinning, ever in face of the comment. That should have been a clue.

Aya decided to respond this time though.

"All." Aya over reached herself but quickly back pedaled. As did Naruto. "For a reason!"

Yuugao blinked as she felt chakra surging towards her from behind. She dodged to the left, but felt it following her.

_'Harumi's hair? But that's far too…' _She felt the chakra dive and wrap up and around her leg. She turned her head. "Long?"

Harumi's hair spanned across the gap between the woods and her out in the cleared field. It also was wrapped around a tree and Harumi had entangled her arm around it for better leverage.

_'So that's why she was so interested in cells.'_ Yuugao privately thought. She took note that neither Naruto nor Aya were advancing, strangely.

"Harumi, you have to understand that with even that, I am too strong for you to stop me like this." Yuugao yelled across the field.

"Not trying to stop you sensei!"

Yuugao's eyes were wide and her sword was out in a flash and stuck into the ground. She pulled on her sword, kicking her foot and moving her body just in time to avoid several cards as they planted themselves into the ground where she stood.

The hair was quickly cut off from her leg and Yuugao nodded at their tactics approvingly.

Something was off though...

Her eyes widened as she felt a large chakra build up to her side.

_'The cards?!'_ Several of the thrown cards were glowing blue with chakra.

An explosion rocked the Training Ground.

* * *

"Whiskers…"

"Yea?"

"That might have been a little overkill."

"Yea…"

"She's ok though… " Aya bite her lip a little nervously. "Right?"

"Yea," Naruto said nodding his head hesitantly. "Yea… probably."

"Probably." Both Aya and Naruto nearly jumped out of their cloths as the voice sounded behind them. They were both thwarted by the headlock they were put in though.

They both let out a relieved sigh when they found it was their sensei holding them.

"Why did you two stop struggling? We could still be in the middle of the combat test for all you know."

That apparently hadn't occurred to the two as they both quickly started struggling again.

She shook her head and held up her hand as a mass of hair was traveling towards her. The mass stopped.

"It is over, clean your selves up." She released them and the hair retreated.

They took in their sensei and found her… perfectly fine. Not even a singed hair or frayed thread. The only thing that was missing was the sword.

"Sensei…" Aya mumbled.

"The **log**." Aya and Naruto weren't sure how but they could feel that the "log" was bold.

"Huh?"

"You are wondering how I am perfectly fine and the answer is the **log**."

They both peered over at the small crater and found trace amounts of what was previously wood.

Naruto felt like banging his head against something. His pride and joy was defeated by…

"Kawarmi!"

"Impressive explosion, but the **log** defeated you." Yuugao said with a hint of triumph though she did admit. "You did get my sword though, which was one I rather liked. One of my favorites even."

Naruto blanched and went slightly pale. Yuugao had a strange affection for her swords that creeped her team out to no end.

"I suppose it was my fault though, drawing it in a no-holds-brawl."

Naruto sighed in relief, but found his sensei in his face.

"Do not do it again though." Yuugao didn't change the tone of her voice but that didn't stop it from weirding Naruto the hell out.

Harumi had finally made her way over and her hair a much more manageable length much to the surprise of her sensei and team. The rest of the hair was gone as well as they glanced around. The girl 

was breathing hard though and Yuugao could feel the girl was low on chakra.

"I can take a guess at how you grew it out so fast, but how exactly did you get rid of it?"

"A jutsu that destroys dead tissue and dead cells along with it, it's a basic medical jutsu."

"You never did explain how you did that…" Aya mumbled from the side.

Harumi took a deep breath.

"I use chakra as a substitute for nutrients from the dermal papil, sending it into the hair bulb, creating cells. I then rapidly speed up keratinization with chakra once again causing the cells to quickly die. Then it's a simple matter of reinforcing proteins and, of course, strengthening the salt, hydrogen, and disulfide bonds like usual."

Aya and Naruto both cocked their head to the side in a similar manner. Yuugao even found herself somewhat at a loss as to what was exactly explained but didn't let that show by nodding. She know the human body, but parts of the hair weren't exactly covered by most ninja training.

Harumi sighed at both Aya and Naruto. "I can make my hair grow and harden at will."

"Exactly/Of course!" Were the two cries of _understanding_.

"Just like I thought." Aya said nodding.

"I concur." Naruto added.

Harumi just sighed again.

"So I can assume you three had some sort of plan for this?"

All three had the decency to look sheepish on various levels.

Aya was the first to really respond.

"Well, as soon as blondie figured out those exploding cards and hairmaster-supreme over there got down that hair growing thing…"

Harumi continued even though her new nickname perturbed her.

"We figured it would not hurt to be prepared if you ever wanted to spare with us three again."

Naruto gave two thumbs up from the side while grinning.

"Sooo…" He began. "We get to go on a C-Rank or not?"

Yuugao became as deadpan as ever, turning gravely to him.

She shook her head sadly and looked up, letting the sides of her mouth droop in a slight frown.

All three looked to be in progressive forms of disappointment.

"Sure, why not?"

* * *

If there was one thing that could be said for Turo Motou, he was a man of the earth. He had been there, done that, dug it up, and doing it all with a child-like curiosity.

That may be why he was currently putting his ear up to the side of the Hokage's tower and knocking. Or he could be insane.

He knocked once more and blinked in surprise.

"Peculiar."

He backed up and nodded in approval though.

"Solid foundation, this will definitely last when we're all dead." Though he did raise a finger up to his lip. "Then again the wood in the structure will rot and I'm not sure how much of the interior is done with such."

He returned to where he had left his luggage which consisted of a large back pack and a strange metal cap with several things hanging off of it, both of which laid on a bench.

He wasn't a tall man and he was tanned as he spent too much time in the sun. He walked much that he wasn't weak but he was no warrior. He would often say to his bodyguards when he had one of any sort "I'm a lover, not a fighter!". If anything though, he was a man of the mind. And that was perfectly fine with him.

He replaced the strange cap on his head.

He then sat down and observed his surroundings.

Birds singing, children playing, and happy villagers.

It made him all want to laugh. Every ninja village in the world had the exact same thing, every single one. Countries liked to paint enemy and hostile villages in an oppressive light, all held by an iron hand of a cruel dictator. It was always a _deep contrast_ to their peaceful, happy village that did everything to protect their nation.

It was absolute crap.

It was ultimately a face put on for him, the customer. The birds did sing though, and the children play, and the villagers were mostly happy. All true, but they were encourage to be that way. Even if they didn't know it.

It was good for business.

He had to admit though… Konoha was the best. They were so good at it, for a moment he truly believed that they weren't housing on-off switch assassins and raising children to be killers.

Though the Hokage was a hop, skip and a big jump from the usual military dictator. He was old, older than Turo atleast (who wasn't any bed wetting scamp himself), and ,as a ninja, that meant he was dangerous. Dangerous, yet peace loving.

Such an interesting combination, Turo liked him the first time he met him way back during the last war. The man was so ancient he couldn't help but let his archaeological side take over. Every crease, every wrinkle was like some long-forgotten battle ground. A story to be told with each.

Turo, above all else, loved stories.

"So who are we protecting sensei? Some princess or daimyo?"

"Naruto, I doubt they would give a Genin team a mission to protect a princess."

Turo turned from his observing to find a blonde boy deflating from his female teammates comment.

A purple haired woman about an inch or so taller than himself, their Jounin-sensei most likely, broke the seal on a mission scroll. A C-Rank he took note of.

"We are protecting an archeologist named…"

"Turo Motou." Turo completed, standing gingerly before waving excitedly. The team quickly took notice of the strange cap he was wearing. Several things were attached and not all of them completely useful looking to the average observer, no doubt.

"Mr. Motou?" The woman questioned.

"Correct, my dear protector."

"Nice to meet you, I am Yuugao Uzuki and this is my team. Naruto Uzumaki, Aya Niisagi and Harumi Kuro." She pointed at each in turn and they of course greeted in turn as well. "I must ask, you applied for this mission several hours ago, have you not found a hotel?"

"Hotel? Oh no, I was inspecting the building. It will probably last long after we are all dead. Will make a nice ruin, indeed." He nodded, his eyes shut with a smile.

Four ninjas just starred.

"Interesting." Yuugao offered, recovering the quickest. She had her fair share of strange clients before her ANBU days. "So we will be meeting you tomorrow at approximately 9 o'clock?"

"Correct once again!" He said enthusiastically.

"Thank you for affirming that Mr.Motou." She bowed curtly. "If you would excuse us, my team has to prepare for the trip. I hope your stay in Konoha is a hospitable one."

She turned and began mumbling a few instructions in a hushed tone that Turo didn't quite catch. Probably the standard _"Get such and such and be nice to the client"_.

The woman looked Ex-ANBU so her students were no doubt trained well. They shouldn't have any problem with the mission, especially with their extra guests.

* * *

Naruto was in the middle of a tense affair. Since his team at went their separate ways, their employer was doing something very strange.

He was following Naruto who had opted to casually stroll to Ichiraku's. Well, not really following, as the 

man walked right beside him.

The man didn't say anything or even give any indication that he knew he was doing anything. He just looked around, observing the village and its people. He would occasionally nod or let out a curious "Hmmm".

Naruto didn't say anything, as Yuugao-sensei had said while looking between him and Aya to be "as courteous to the client as possible". So he was and kept his mouth shut.

The problem was thus though, they were at Ichiraku's now and he wasn't totally sure what to do. The man had stopped with him so he must know what he was doing…so…

"Mr. Motou?"

"Ahh, yes Mr. Uzumaki?"

Naruto blinked for a moment. _'Mr. Uzumaki? That's a new one.'_

"Errr… want some ramen?"

"Oh yes, I would want some." He pivoted on the ball of his foot and marched straight into the ramen stand.

"Uhhh… alright," and with that Naruto followed him. He found the man inspecting one of the stools with far too much interest.

Naruto took his usual place and placed his order, "Beef."

"Oak." The man starring at the stool said while nodding.

Ayame, the ramen stand's daughter, blinked with confusion.

"Sir, I'm afraid we don't have… Oak ramen." She paused as if she couldn't believe what she just said.

"What? Oh no, the stool top is made from Oak. Steel's from Suna I would surmise."

"I…" Ayame looked at Naruto, as if asking what to do. He immediately jumped into action.

"Hey ol- I mean Mr. Motou, what kind of ramen you want?"

"Oh, whatever you are having is quite fine," he mumbled absent-mindedly. He crouched on the ground and examined the steel pole that made up the base of the stool.

He reached over his head and pulled one of the things attached to his cap to the side of his face. It seemed to be a series of glass circles, each one smaller than the last.

He flipped three down and infront of his right eye.

He starred at it, occasionally doing something else like knocking on it or even touching his tongue to it once.

He did this until the food arrive, at which point he stood and looked slightly embarrassed.

"Seems I was wrong. It's not Suna Steel at all. It's a blend between Iwa and Marsh, which is rather interesting considering everything…"

Naruto paused mid-gorging, not something to be taken lightly.

"How do you know that?"

"Well, Mr.Uzumaki. When you have been alive as long as I have, you know a lot of things. A lot you don't wanna know or even force yourself not to know." He leaned in. "Such as seeing my grandmother quite nude one time."

The man shivered, starting from the top of his spine and moving downwards, all while his face cringed.

"Anyways, you could say I've done a lot of things. I've spent some time as a metal worker when younger, made kunai during one war, and I am in the habit of knowing everything about everything when it comes to what I am doing."

Naruto had once again began eating during the small speech but stopped to question. "Aren't you one of those archa-whoie-ma-whatevers now?"

"I'm not an archa-whoie-ma-whatever, never have been, don't think the lifestyle would suit me. I am, however, an archeologist. I get to dig a lot and if I happen to run into something, I like to know what it is." He gingerly dug into his ramen.

"So... if I give you my kunai you can tell me where it's from?"

"Correct! Brilliant simplification of my skills."

"So you dig in a specific place or something?"

"On occasion, one particular site is where you and your team are escorting me."

"So if you find something… you sell it?"

The man, for the first time since Naruto met him, had a displeased face. As if he had drunken something extremely sour a few minutes ago and the taste wasn't totally gone yet.

"Sometimes, I am required to fund my digs afterall."

Naruto nodded as he began eating again though it appeared he had another question.

"Sho." Naruto tried to say 'so' with a full mouth. He quickly swallowed. "You think you are gonna find something you will have to sell at this one place?"

"Oh I hope not. The dig site, if I am to believe my students, a temple to a deity of the desert. More than likely worshipped by the old nomadic wanderers of the desert," The man got far too excited over the course of that one sentence. "We aren't actually sure what they worshiped precisely, but this could possibly one of the few temples ever erected by them so it could be rather ground breaking."

The man was now grinning wildly.

"Cool," While not the most interesting subject, he could deny the awesomeness of being the first ever to do something. He was also in that category for a few things.

* * *

"Come on, come on." The man's voice was urgent. A sharp inhale of breath. "Darn!"

"Hey hey, stay calm." A younger voice urged. "Now, it's all in the wrist." He advised.

Naruto calmly flicked his wrist causing the card to sail through the hair and into Turo's upturned hat, which laid in a chair.

Both Naruto and Turo had at some point, somehow, relocated to the couch in Naruto's apartment and Naruto began the arduous task of teaching someone to flick cards into a hat. It's much harder than most people fathom.

"Wrist, wrist, wrist…" Turo held his breath and flicked his wrist. He let his breath go but sharply inhaled it back as it looked as if the card would miss its target area. He cocked his his to the side in a steady rhythm, willing the card to move that way and land in the hat.

Miraculously, the card land directly on the side and Turo's eyes were nearly jumping out of his head.

The card tipped to the side and into the hat.

"SUCCESS!" Turo was on his feet, shouting enthusiasticly.

"Awesome, you got it quicker than me." Naruto admitted, a little perturbed.

"Ah, but I am older and have more practice in using a delicate hand." Turo's dumped the cards out of the hat and into his hand. He began straightening them into a proper deck.

"Now, I have a question."

"Shoot."

"What exact purpose do these seals serve?" The old man questioned, hold up the deck showing the back.

"You know what those are?" Naruto was quite surprised.

"Yes, clever to make them in such a way they just look like an exotic back." Naruto blushed slightly at the compliment.

"Well, basically…" A card slid into Naruto's hand and he flung it at his door where several nicks were present. It placed itself firmly in the wood. "Makes them weapons."

"Oh…" The man looked at the cards with a newly found respect. "Impressive, make them yourself?"

Naruto nodded his head.

"Very impressive then."

It was Naruto's turn to question.

"You got some experience with seals?"

"I've dabbled in them. It was the blood seal that gave it away to me, though I mostly just know how to disarm them."

"Why would you need to do that?"

"Good question. I picked most of it up from a seal master who helped me explore some of the more…" he seemed to search for the right word. "Devious ruins."

"Devious ruins?" Naruto wasn't exactly sure how ruins could be devious.

"Yes quite, a few ancient cult grounds for instance are booby trapped with seals..." He paused in thought before shaking his head, as if to dispel memories. "...among other things."

Naruto suddenly found ruins incredibly interesting. He knew seals had been around a long time, but in ancient temples and stuff as traps?

This required further investigation.

"What kind of booby traps?"

"Well…" he paused in thought for a moment. "There was this one crazy cult to a Bijuu I've come across several times, crazy jokers."

Naruto paled, but that went unnoticed by Turo.

"They had a habit of placing countless, very deadly seals all over their temple that didn't react if you had a certain seal on you. Crazy, but brilliant." The man shook his head.

Naruto quickly regained his color to ask,"Was there anything cool in them?"

The man deflated slightly. "No, nothing worthy of note."

The man said that with such a displeased tone that Naruto had the distinct feeling that something was left unsaid, something that did not make the man particularly proud.

A change of subject was in order.

"Will there be some of those seals at the temple we are heading to?"

The man blinked. "I don't think so, but it's possible. No one has reported any in the outer area of the temple."

Naruto grinned at the chance to examine ancient seals. Turo _did_ take notice of that.

"If you're truly interested, my associates have a few sketching of the seals we have run across. Though I am sure if you asked your sensei she could find you a book of ancient seals in her personal stash, they aren't that rare."

"Huh?" Naruto was popped from imagining every place he could place a booby trap in his apartment. 

"Yuugao-sensei has books on ancient seals?"

"Oh… she didn't teach you?" The man was slightly surprised. Genin weren't often taught by those that weren't their Jounin sensei, no matter how illogical that is.

"Nope."

"Then why not ask the person who taught you sealing?"

Naruto scratched the back of his head.

"No one really taught me."

And Turo starred.

"You're saying no one taught you how to make the seal on those cards?" He asked, gesturing to the deck on the table.

"Well, they were mostly already made and I just combined them and improved them some." He put his hands close turning them before locking them together, as if to show a visual demonstration.

Turo's eyebrows went so high they were obscured by his messy hair.

"You create and lay your own seals, all by yourself?"

"Well, I do have a how to book and a lot of scrolls." Naruto shrugged as he glanced at the clock. "Oh! I need to make a few more cards and seals for the mission!"

Naruto hurried over to a drawer, withdrawing several items for sealing and two blank decks of cards.

Naruto didn't notice the man look at him with a measure more of respect.

"Hmmm, I shall leave you to your work then."

"Oh, well you can crash on the couch if you want." Naruto shrugged as he hastily set up a work station. He figured the man was probably a little too scatter-brained to get a hotel earlier.

"Thank you but I have a few more sites to see in Konoha." He said with a grin.

Naruto pointed to the side not looking away from where he had fanned out several cards and began making an Imprinting Seal. "Redlight district is that-a-way."

"Ha! Good guess but I'm afraid you are…" Turo tried to laugh but found Naruto looking at him deadpan. The man coughed and quickly mumbled, "Thanks."

The man left Naruto to his seal crafting.

* * *

_**AN: I don't like the Kyuubi revelation as much as in the Barking Trickster, but it will do.  
**_

_**The OC's pretty old and he knows more about most things thing than anyone should. Most of it might seem useless, such as "Where so and so metal came from." but that **_**_just might be useful at some points. He's also fairly knowledgeable when it comes to ninja and has his fair share of dirty secrets that might just come up._**

**_He's funner than he might seem._**

**_Team 3's skills have progressed and the next chapter is the C-Rank (Perhaps only part 1). And who are these guests that were casually mentioned? Tune in next time._**


	6. Towels and Cats, Towels and Cats

_**Oh snap, I'm on a roll tonight baby! Not really, I've just had these lying around. **_

* * *

_Cutting the Deck_

Chapter 5

_Towels and Cats, Towels and Cats_

* * *

Yuugao had learned several lessons over the years

Yuugao had learned several lessons over the years. She's learned that an idiot with a sword is a dangerous idiot and that underestimating someone can lead to several bad outcomes.

She'd also learned that you can learn a lot about a person by watching them when they are bored. Contrary to what some people might say, watching a person lean lazily against a wall can provide more information than fighting them outright. That doesn't necessarily mean it will always be useful information.

For instance, she was at the moment observing her team. The way they sat in boredom while waiting for their late client told a lot about them.

Harumi didn't give much away at first but at a second glance she allowed you to make several guesses about her. For one, you could conclude by her rigid posture that she was upset at having to waiting so long for their client, but she held her emotions closer than others. You could also guess she was the most reasonable and conservative of the trio, being that she was the only one actually sitting.

Naruto had taken to trying to make a smiley face out of cards on a tree. He had curiosity that left cats teary-eyed with envy and even though said curiosity didn't always lead down constructive paths. He had long since sealed away all their possessions (except Yuugao's, who did that herself) for easier transport. He also seemed a bit more nervous than the other two, though it didn't seem to be about the mission. If anything, he looked like someone who knew something but wasn't sure of its credibility.

Aya was the easiest though, by far. She paced back and forth, her hands at her side. She was constantly clenching them into fists. She ground her teeth and a small twitch was in her right eye that had nothing to do with a botched Lightning jutsu.

Put simple, she was pissed.

Yuugao had concluded long ago that Aya was someone who needed to be distracted or doing something. A bored Aya was a bad Aya. Naruto was the same way, but he always carried some scroll or book about sealing. Aya was different though. She wasn't much for reading, as Yuugao learned when she gave the girl her first scroll with a few jutsu on it.

None were particularly powerful, but most were ones that would compliment her Taijutsu rather nicely. Each jutsu had the name, the hand seals, how to channel the chakra and a few notes of importance about the jutsu (basically the dos and don'ts). Aya, it appeared, had skipped the notes and ended up with nice black highlights and an important lesson. Not to mention discovering the girl's peculiar lightning affinity.

She was impatient, plain and simple. Yuugao ran through a few things in her head that would distract the girl. Chakra training was the best idea but that wasn't going to happen during a mission, no matter what the rank. Another possibility was going through hand seals for a jutsu.

Not very promising choices. _'I guess jutsu hand seals it is…_' Yuugao paused, being struck with brilliance._ 'Well…'_

She reached in to her belt pouch, which she kept several things in. A few poisons, wire, extra explosive notes, etc. etc. Only one real thing of any sentimental value was in the pouch though. It was a large coin that her sensei picked up from some obscure place on one of his infamous "training vacations" and it was only there as it was almost ceremonial that she kept it in her belt pouch. She withdrew it and took a long hard look at the strange grooves, feeling it with her thumb.

_'It worked for Funn and his mild ADD,'_ She flipped it once for good measure. _'Now to…'_

She glanced at the sun, discreetly repositioning herself.

She let the coin rest on her thumb. She then let it casually _'_roll_'_ down her fingers. The sun glinted against the coin directly into Aya's face. The girl blinked with confusion while Yuugao repositioned the coin again with her thumb. Aya was soon leaning over her sensei, paying attention to the _'_dancing' coin.

"Can I do something for you?" Yuugao asked blandly, not even looking at the girl.

"How do you that?" She said motioning towards the coin.

The violet haired woman resisted the urge to smirk and say "Hook, line and sinker".

* * *

Naruto had realized something on the road, escorting their employer. C-ranks were boring as hell. D-ranks more so, but they were quick. The C-rank dragged on and on.

It had at first been amusing to watch Turo continuously apologize for being late while simultaneously trying to avoid actually saying why he was. He and Naruto had nodded to each other, the message was understood. You don't say anything and I won't.

At the beginning of the trip, he had marveled at his surroundings, as he had never really been out of the village all that much. There wasn't much to see. It was more or less the same, trees, trees and more trees.

Then the boredom set in. He shuffled cards a little, but that didn't do much. He tried to read a little but that grew annoying, as Yuugao wanted him to be alert. He then opted to see how long he could walk on his hands. He could do it fairly long it appeared but even that grew boring, not to mention Yuugao's glances that had gave him a feeling he would regret it if he kept it up.

Missions were serious business.

He had never thought he would think something like this before, but he honestly hoped someone put a small bounty on Turo. Nothing too big mind you, maybe a little one because Turo had bothered somebody a little too much. Just a few thugs or mercenaries.

Was that so much to ask? Just a few people after his client's life isn't so hard, right?

Sadly, no. Turo was too friendly of a guy and while strange, he wasn't particularly hateable.

So in the end he had to dwell on some sealing ideas he had. He was more of a hands on person however so that wasn't the most interesting course of action. And that's how Naruto ended up asking questions.

"So where are we going exactly?" Naruto asked, not wholly interested.

"Well…" Turo withdrew a small map and quickly unfolded it. "We are gonna have to go through northern River, which is mostly wetlands, and across the Wind's border. Pretty close to where Rain, Wind, and River come together actually."

Naruto nodded absently.

"Though, I admit I'm more interested in our special guests."

The four Konoha-nin blinked.

"Guests?" Questioned Yuugao.

"Oh…" Turo cringed slightly. "You don't know about Wind's policy."

"Wind's policy?" The three, younger members of the group sounded back in not-exact unison.

"Well, technically Wind's, but really its Sunakagure's." Turo seemed to go into a lecture mode. "Due to Suna's economic issues, the Kazekage has moved in a few processes and procedures to bring more currency into Suna. Wind's been neglecting them so they have to resort to bureaucratic bull to inch out a profit. Won't keep up though, as a lot of Suna's supporters are taking heat in the capitol and are being pushed out of their positions by oth-"

"Get to the point old ma-OW!" Naruto's little outburst was interrupted by the blunt end of a kunai smacking his head. He began rubbing the spot and looking accusingly at Yuugao.

Before he could question Yuugao answered, "Respect the client; please go on Mr. Motou."

"Oh well…" He recalled where his explanation left off. "Oh well, yes. One of those little things the Kazekage slipped in was a little document that basically said "If you're going to dig or excavate in Wind Country, you're going to have some extra body guards"."

"Suna-nin?" Yuugao asked with a brow raised.

"Yes, not sure how many though. When applying for the dig site you have to pay extra for the "required" body guards." He made the quotation motion with his hands.

"Uh…" Aya raised her hand in a question. "Why do you need us then?"

"I need an escort of course." He said rather matter-of-factly, but the edges of his small smile seemed a bit forced.

"You hired us for the whole of two months Mr. Motou, and it takes much less than that to reach our destination." Yuugao replied in her own usual matter-of-fact tone.

The man frowned. He pulled his cap down to cover his forehead a little more.

"To be honest…" He licked his chapped lips. "I don't trust Suna-nin at the moment."

While Yuugao herself couldn't say that she wasn't a little paranoid and understood this, the three genin were a little confused. What would a civilian without a nationality have to concern himself over when it came to Sunagakure?

"You're no doubt wondering 'Why?'. Well quite simply," He held out his hands. "They are between a rock…"

He hefted one hand, symbolizing a rock.

"…and a hard place." He presented the other hand. "And when a ninja village is in that situation, they aren't to be trusted."

Yuugao blinked at the astounding insight into the ninja culture the man possessed. This was, by all rights, completely true. Konoha itself had shied away from Suna as of late, not cutting ties but keeping them at arm's length. Desperate ninja were more dangerous than most people considered.

The genin worked through it in their own way. Aya pretty much went back to her little coin dancing while in contemplation. Harumi worked on it silently, but Naruto was a bit different.

"Why?" was his innocent question.

"Well, Mr. Uzumaki." The girls briefly paused at the peculiar moniker. "Ninja's aren't always blessed with enemies that they can just assassinate. Some are a bit too powerful and subtle, and not in the S-Class way. A ninja can lend itself to politics, but professional killers don't have the time to master the art of underhanded politics."

"So…?"

"So, if they have a Daimyo that has a grudge against them for some silly squabble in the last war that ended with him losing some face, say like Suna does..." He cringed slightly. "It's not very good, for them atleast."

Yuugao's eyebrows knitted together slightly. She didn't have the slightest idea  
that was the reason for Suna's predicament and she had blindly accepted that it was just another fact that needed to be handled and dealt with.

"Why can't the kage just reason with him?"

"Considering that it was that same Kazekage who embarrassed him before they obtained their current position? I doubt he would be able to do much without seeming like an utter fool. In his defense, at the time, his move against the other man was sound and his appointment as Daimyo was… well…" Turo seemed to spend a lot of time searching for the right word. "Unexpected."

Naruto's stream of questions seemed to go along the lines of "What?" and "Why?".

"Well…" Turo cringed. "That's a really long story as in really long and involving two waitresses, a Suna genin team and a dog named Sukippu, to name a few."

Four heads turned to him simultaneously. He at first seemed a little put off, but he did always have a passion for teaching and it's not often he finds himself lecturing ninja.

"Ok, first of all, you've got to understand that there are some holes in this story that are filled with the most logical conclusions. But basically the most important moral of this tale is quite simply, don't off kunoichi-turned-geisha…"

* * *

"Naruto."

"Yea, Harumi?"

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to make this leaf into an explosive note."

"…Why?"

"Because it would be cool."

"And why exactly is making an explosive leaf cool?" Harumi was filled with questions on this strange concept.

"Because who would see an exploding leaf coming?" Naruto answered her question with a question. After a moment of silence. "No one, that's who."

"Sound reasoning," Their sensei sounded from the side of the room. They were in one of the cheap inns that littered the roads of the Elemental Countries. Naruto, true to form, was painting an extremely small explosive seal onto a tiny leaf from one of the trees that populated the area of River Country they were in. It didn't seem to be going to well though, as the smaller he tried to make it, the harder it got. "Harumi, if there is one thing you should take away from Team 3, it is a proper appreciation for explosions."

The three students turned to the master. All of them were seated, absorbed with various pre-sleep activities.

"I never figured you for the pyromaniac type, sensei." Aya mused out loud, still paying attention to the coin rolling down her fingers.

"In our line of work, anything can be an asset, a tool to be used."

"Isn't that Shinobi Rule…?" Aya, after a moment, turned to Harumi for assistance.

"**#65**."

"Yea, **#65**."

"Those Shinobi rules are less rules and more…"

"Helpful guidelines." Naruto added from the corner, not looking up. If anyone understood the malleability of rules, it was Naruto.

"Correct," A faint smile crested on Yuugao's lips. "They do hit on some good points though."

"Bah, they forgot the most important rule of them all though," Naruto mumbled from the side, hints of gruffness in his voice.

It's not often that Naruto preoccupies three women and an old perverted man with a single statement but it's very hard to come up with what exactly Naruto would consider to be "the most important rule of them all". This lead to a logical maneuver on Yuugao's part.

"And that would be…?"

Naruto looked at Yuugao for a moment, as if she had just made a small pun or joke. It quickly dawned on him that, no, Yuugao wasn't joking. She really didn't know.

"You…" He seemed somewhat perplexed by the whole situation. "You… don't know where your towel is?"

The women-folk were utterly baffled by this statement. Turo, on the other hand, quickly rushed to his pack and returned with a red towel. Naruto nodded, ceremonially. He didn't seem the least bit freaked out by the fact that someone had just withdrew a towel and presented it like some ancient artifact.

He rolled up his sleeve, revealing yet another seal on his arm. One bite, a trickle of blood, and a smear later and a pure white towel was in his hand. The towel was, much like everything Naruto owned, plastered with seals.

"Oh, nice one."

"Yea, I got some connections who know how to sew."

"Reinforcing seals?"

"Oh yea, and one for quick drying."

"Oh, I didn't think of that."

"Well, that's no problem. I can throw one on yours."

Before the ramblings of the two towel-enthusiasts could continue, Yuugao intervened.

"Stop." Yuugao was someone who was not easily disturbed. She had killed people, some even younger than her own students. She had seen the Kyuubi rip people apart and survived eight years of ANBU. Heck, not just survived, but flourished. These two speaking calmly about towels had shook something in her that hadn't been shaken in quite some time.

She was weirded the hell out.

"Explanation." Her voice didn't insist or request. It commanded.

"Well, the most important rule is simply _'_Know where your towel is_'_," Turo nodded to himself, to which Naruto whole heartedly agreed with.

"Uhhh… why?" It was Aya's turn to ask a question. The coin lay still.

"Because towels are some of the most useful objects in the world!" Naruto said rather enthusiastically. "Like if you get a cut, you can use it to wipe away blood."

"Or you could wet it and wrap it around your head in the desert," Turo sounded right back much like a connoisseur would. A connoisseur of towels that is.

"It's perfect for cleaning up messes in sealing." Three heads turned to Naruto.

"And for wiping away dirt and sand from ancient ruins." Now they spun to Turo.

"And for bandages or some sort of sling." To Naruto.

"And you definitely can't forget fending off those wildcats in Lightning Country!" To Turo.

"Need a gag for someone?" Naruto.

"How about a pillow?" Turo.

"Great for traps, who would suspect a towel as bait?"

"**Enough**," Yuugao's voice took on a dangerous edge. Not loud, or forceful but sleek in a sense. Sleek, but dangerous none-the-less. "We never speak of this again. Am I clear?"

She stood, and even though Turo was nearly the same height as her, she towered over him. Naruto had inched back, leaving Turo frozen in place.

They both realized she was waiting for some manner of response, to that, they both quickly nodded.

Yuugao motioned for the girls to make their exit and exit they did.

* * *

The dark hung in the girl's room like a curtain. A quiet voice sounded.

"S-sensei."

"Yes, Aya."

"S-some of t-those made…sense," She said the last word as if she had just drunken sour milk.

"…I know." The sound of a body shuffling into a more comfortable position was heard by the two younger occupants of the room. "It scares me too."

* * *

Toko Hitofuki was having a nice relaxing day. Just the way he liked it. Though truthfully, it didn't take much for him to classify a day as "nice" and "relaxing". He counted the day he was promoted to Chuunin as "nice" and "relaxing" even though he had to defeat three opponents and was defeated ultimately in the finals by a crazy bitch with claws and her pet. He liked the breeze that day, that was all. Oh, and he had some good pork fried rice that day too.

Said crazy bitch was actually sitting right next to him. Well, less sitting and more lounging. Half-naked, at that. She had this habit of sun bathing in very skimpy bikinis, you see. This, as he has witnessed, had a profound effect on any male with an iota of libido. This was a once again proven an absolute truth when they arrived at the camp. The moment the woman started stripping, work came to a near halt. The men kept getting distracted and the women got irate over the idiotic men and the flaunting harlot.

Though, if one possessed sufficient will power they were able to avoid making fools of themselves. Toko has such will power and this drew the ire of the young woman no doubt.

After all, women of her caliber weren't used to not being drooled over. With good reason too. The girl was of ample breast and curves and her features were of the sharp variety. Animalistic in a sense. Her finger nails were fairly long and her hair was nothing more than a shock of brown.

She was an exotic species in a sea of normalcy.

Well, compared to himself at least. Standard black fatigues of Suna and with only two real points of interest. One, a maroon scarf usually wrapped around his lower face and reaching to rest on his shoulders. A tail of the cloth always trailed in his wake's wind. Two was his hitai-ate around his waist, the Suna symbol emblazoned upon it. Though whether or not that was interesting was up for grabs.

Currently the scarf was pulled down, revealing day old black stubble and he was enjoying a nice serving of dango.

A black shape darted out from the forest line, several yards away from the edge of the ruins. It was those same trees that made the ground stable enough to support a more permanent structure such as the temple but they also made excellent cover.

The black shape drew closer to the pair, it's small blurred form becoming clearer. It appeared to be a black cat. A simple black house cat. It's fur was gorgeous and had a nice sheen and it's ears twitched liked any other cat.

In fact, it looked nothing more than an ordinary cat. If it was saw wandering the streets or dumpster diving, no one would think anything else of it.

And this is what makes that particular breed of ninja-cats so dangerous in Toko's mind. Most cats from the clan are monstrous in proportions. Most could bite off a hand and rip out a throat with a quick slash. This "ordinary" cat though is by all regards much, much more dangerous.

The cat's usual lazy gait was quick and it's eyes didn't dart nearly as much as usual.

When it got closer, this caused the man to pause, dango stick still in his mouth.

"Ochii?" The man said the name to the cat, asking for its reason for the quick strut.

The girl sat up, small sunglasses dropping on her nose so that her teal eyes could survey the cat.

"Meow." The cat's face was expressionless. It betrayed no emotion in its meow.

"Really?" The girl asked.

"Meow," was the response. It was accompanied by a small tilting of the head forwards.

"Are they here, Kiza?" The man questioned.

"Seems to be." The woman nodded her head.

They both nodded in unison… before returning to sunbathing and eating respectively.

The cat shook its head with distaste in a manner not unbecoming of a wealthy noble man. It turned its head to the side, watching a group of people darkened by the distance walk closer. With elegance that only a cat could posses, it made its way towards the ever-growing closer group.

* * *

"Are we there yet?"

"We are closer."

"… You've said that every time I've asked you."

"Technically speaking Mr.Uzumaki, she's not lying."

Naruto made a manly grunting sound, betraying his prepubescent state. His eyes wandered around the surrounding area.

It was a strange sight to be honest. It was kind of forest, kind of dirty grasslands, and kind of desert. He didn't know the word for it. There were trees, but they were different from the one's Naruto was use to seeing in Konoha. River Country had a decent bit of them though. They were more… gnarly. That fit nicely in his mind. Very gnarly trees. They seemed to twist and bend and he had yet to see one that just shot straight up. It was as if the trees didn't know where they wanted to go. A preposterous notion.

The trees were scarcer where they were now. It wasn't a path or road of any kind, but it was flatter and few trees dared to venture out into this domain. The ground had a dirty feeling to it. There was grass, sure, but the ground seemed to be more made of dirty, packed sand. Plants weren't as rare as trees but most seemed to be barely hanging on.

If he stared to the West, he would find a desolate plain stretched out, occasionally interrupted by some rock formation or hill. This would then convert into the desert, deeper into Wind Country. If he looked due North, on the other hand, he was greeted by the beginning of the mountain range that encompassed Rain Country and Bird Country and jutted into Earth Country.

All this fell to the way side when Yuugao paused in the road. This caused a pause in her companions as well. She turned her head ever so slowly, to one of the few brave trees. Her eye brow went up a notch… and then a second notch.

"Meow."

Everyone who wasn't a Jounin( and therefore hadn't noticed it before) caught sight of a cat sitting in the tree.

"A cat?" Aya questioned rhetorically.

"Not exactly." Yuugao asserted. "A ninja cat."

The group's heads swiveled to her.

"Ninja… cat?" Naruto had just gotten hit with a curve ball. Since when could cats become ninjas? He didn't see any headband, not that a cat could wear one anyways.

…Right?

"Yes, it seems that one or more of our guests are from the esteemed Sukineko Clan of Suna."

"Oh." That was both Harumi and Turo.

"But…" Aya stared at the cat as it observed them.

"How can a cat be a ninja?" Yuugao guessed what her question was. "They are very similar to the Inuzuka clan and go through similar rituals."

"That they don't share with anyone," Turo added. "Ninjas and their secrets. Like trying to take a toy from a child."

Yuugao turned to him, eyebrow still standing.

"Err… no offense." He smiled nervously while holding his hands up in an appeasing manner.

"None taken," Yuugao said, off handedly, as she began walking again. This was somewhat surprising to her team as she did nothing about the cat dilemma.

"What should do about the cat sensei?" Harumi asked, walking quickly to come into stride with her sensei.

"Nothing." She finally said.

"Nothing?" Harumi reiterated.

"Nothing."

"Why nothing?" Aya said, who had taken the tail position.

Yuugao had to think for a moment, wording her next line correctly. "There are several rules of the Ninja that are not cataloged anywhere." Yuugao turned to Turo. "You know the one I am thinking of, I believe."

Turo smiled poignantly. "The 'Victim' Rule."

Yuugao nodded in approval.

"The 'Victim' Rule?"

"Yes, the jist of it is this," Yuugao turned her head for a moment, making sure the cat was following as she felt, which it was. "Always try to be the victim in a fight or war."

"Try to be the victim? Doesn't that mean you lose?" Naruto questioned.

"Not precisely. If a victim of one country fends off an attacker of another, it gives the defending country a nice amount of political leeway. Being victimized also gives the country the sympathy and perhaps even support of other countries. In a war, it's always better to be the victim."

"But…" Aya mumbled. "We aren't at war with Suna."

Turo scoffed. "Ninjas are always waging war."

"There haven't been any major fights between Shinobi in a decade almost," Harumi stated very factually.

"Then that just means it's about time for one. The fact is that there has never been a true moment of peace in the elemental countries. There will always been tension and there will always be covert missions." Turo intoned solemnly. "All it takes is a small misunderstanding between a Genin team or two for an all out war between Suna and Konoha to spark. If Suna is determined the aggressor then support will lean towards Konoha."

"It is a harsh lesson, but the ninja world isn't usually about heroics," Yuugao stated in her usual monotone.

Before some form of response could be provided by the younger members of the group, a small mass of people became obvious to the group.

A group of eight or so people waved from the apparent entrance of the camp. Turo's face stretched into a grin and a little bit of a skip went into his step.

He turned his head exaggeratedly before saying in the most dashing voice he could muster, "Come! Let us see what mysteries we may unravel!" The Konoha-nin half-expected him to jump up and click his shoes together.

Turo broke into a practiced and well-timed jog, he was trailed by his perplexed guardians.

* * *

Yuugao was a planner but wasn't obsessively so. She just liked to go into situations with a clear idea of what needed to be done. She put more faith in a simple plan made ten minutes before contact with an enemy than in an elaborate plan that's been in development for months. Such elaborate plans often lead to great downfalls as one chaotic factor could ruin them.

One great example, that happens to be one of the best well-known secrets in the world, was Sarutobi looking for a successor the first time. The obvious front-runner was Orochimaru, Sarutobi's favored and faithful student. Then again, Minato Namikaze was also a contender with his depute technique during the Third Great Shinobi War. Orochimaru did have more experience though and was more skilled when it come to one-on-one fights where the Hiraishin couldn't be properly utilized.

Orochimaru was going to be pretty much handed the title of Yondaime, but things hit a little snag. Orochimaru's plans and true self came to light. He was always aloof, but that's to be expected with prodigies. No one knew just how far Orochimaru had fallen, or rather, how deep he was all along. The man was absolutely in-love with long, elegant plans. He wanted his life story to be a play, and he wanted it to be a good one. Sadly, he didn't consider that most elaborate plans are often protected by plot armor and attempts at such things in real life don't always work out for the best.

This was Orochimaru's greatest flaw. You would think being Jiraiya's teammate would teach him something, but a little discussion and a comment by Jiraiya thrown frivolously at Sarutobi planted a small seed of suspicion in the 3rd Hokage. It all went downhill from there.

Yuugao should have counted on the fact that some plans, no matter how simple and straight forwards, don't survive contact with the enemy. Or in this case, with Turo.

When Turo had entered the camp, he made small greetings and proceeded to head straight for the two Suna-nin situated on a pillar.

Yuugao had figured Turo would know better than to have a confrontation. He did, he just didn't particularly care.

A sharp woman, the Sukineko by the looks of her, grinned saucily as Turo approached.

"Why hell-" She tried to say a greeting in a lusty voice but was interrupted.

"Move." Turo said simply, digging into his pocket.

"Excuse me?" Said the woman.

"I said…" He picked up a side of her towel and flipped it off of the fallen pillar. "Move."

He put a strange metal tube that looked to be a small telescope to his eye. He began inspecting the pillar with a close up look.

The barely-clad woman was nonplussed for a moment.

The man, who was apparently her partner in the mission, grinned.

"What?" She turned to him and said venomously.

"Nothing," He held up his hand defensively. "Nothing at all."

The lady looked ready to snarl before she stood and rounded on the approaching group.

"Konoha-nin?"

"Yes, yes they are." The archeologist confirmed absent mindedly. He didn't even look up.

"Genin team too, only one guy too." Toko mumbled and briefly paused. "Unlucky bastard."

Kiza went to swat him but he deftly dodged by bending his neck.

She took a good look at the team before frowning.

"This won't be any fun, a kid who doesn't have pubes yet and a bunch of other girls."

"What, the little blondy not good enough for you shota-neko?"

"Oh shut it…" A cat-like growl originated from her throat as she starred him down for a moment.

A purple head obscured the sun and shadowed over the sitting Suna-nin's face. The cat woman turned to the other kunoichi.

There was an awkward silence.

And it lasted.

And lasted.

It was only interrupted by several of the workers mulling about getting ready for the true digging and excavation to begin and Turo's own little meticulous musings over stones.

That is until…

"Yo." Aya's hand was raised in greeting, her eyes shifting back and forth as if she believed she had just committed some taboo.

Yuugao's curt hand extended in a handshake to the standing member of the duo.

"Yuugao Uzuki, Jounin sensei of team 3."

The feral woman quirked an eyebrow before shrugging and accepting the hand.

"I'm Kiza Sukineko, the lazy bum is Toko Hitofuki, and the darling little kitty stalker behind you is Ochii."

Said cat strutted up through the Konoha-nin, stopping briefly to brush against Harumi's leg, and making its way to circle between and behind Kiza's legs. It starred at the group for a moment, scrutinizing them with eye's that only a cat could posses. It finally meowed before becoming uninterested and wandering over to bother the sitting man who was still eating and who had barely nodded in recognition at being introduced.

Yuugao nodded sternly. "My team, Harumi Kuro, Naruto Uzumaki and Aya Niisagi." She motioned to each in turn.

"Hello/Hey/Yo," Was the genin's responses respectively.

"I am hoping that this mission can go as smoothly as possible, for both parties," Yuugao said in a business like tone.

"Yea, yea sure. I just gotta find a better place to tan." She frowned and snatched up her towel from the ground where Turo had deposited it.

Yuugao blinked in confusion for a second.  
_  
'Why would she be-'_

"I know what you're thinking," the scarfed man mumbled from the ground, he paused to deposit some more dango in his mouth. He savored it before continuing. "Why is she so relaxed during a mission?"

Kiza scowled at him.

"Everyone knows this is a farce of a mission on Suna's part so…"

"Yes, yes you're treating it like a vacation." Turo said exasperatedly. "Now could all of you please step away from the ancient sandstone."

He began shooing away the shinobi. It was a peculiar sight. A civilian man sending away six shinobi (and one cat) that could each kill him in atleast three dozen ways, if not more.

Kiza hunched over slightly, very cat-like, and bared her teeth at him. She still backed up, but she didn't make it easy for him.

Yuugao's eyes narrowed and her hand drifted towards her kunai pouch. Before this went any further though, Toko lightly flicked the feline woman on the forehead.

"Be nice," he intoned with a small grin and a waggle of the eyebrows. He turned to Yuugao. "Don't mind her, she's just angry she was ignored by that guy and then a group of libido-less nin show up."

All eyes shifted to Naruto for some sort of reaction but he was just standing there, his eyes wandering around. He suddenly realized the strange stares.

"What?"

"Well, he kind of just insulted you." Aya said with a shrug.

"What!? How!?" He sounded alarmed and he stood a little straighter. He looked accusingly at the male Suna-nin.

"Libido is…" Harumi started but had to pause to the find the right way to word this. "… the male sex drive and he implied you have none at all."

Naruto deflated. "Oh if that's all…" He shrugged and turned to the Kiza. "If it makes you feel any better, women with less cloths on than you usually sleep and snuggle with each other on my couch and they haven't jump started anything."

It was odd. Even the birds paused. Several people, though not knowing why, stuck their heads out of the tents and look at the shinobi, perplexed. Nature and human alike unanimously agreed to be silent and stare at a one Naruto Uzumaki. Then, in agreement once more, they all cocked their heads to the side simultaneously…

Naruto felt a bead of sweat form on his forehead and make its way down to his eyebrow. The sheer puzzlement on their faces was profound. Yuugao's mouth stood slightly agape. A dango stick hung limp between Toko's lips and even Ochii, who was not an easily surprised cat, stopped purring and raised a single kitty eyebrow.

"This is gonna be fun." All eyes whipped around to Toko who had recovered the quickest and caused everyone else's with his words. "I can just feel it."

* * *

"So…"

"Don't rush me!"

"Ok, ok. No one is rushing you…" Turo made a calming gesture.

The entirety of Turo's underlings and students stood behind him, all peering over his shoulders. Infront of Turo stood Naruto Uzumaki. They were all in what appeared to be a crumpled hallway. A large hole was behind and above them. A ladder led up to it Several lanterns provided light for the little group. The group was at one end of the hall and the other was what could only have been a staircase at one point. It wasn't so no as it was collapsed.

Naruto was rubbing his chin and looking over what appeared to be a large stone door that was set at the end of the hall. On the door, a pattern was marked in. The pattern consisted of jagged edges and very few round or smooth lines.

This was a seal. An old one, but a seal none-the-less.

"Alright…" Naruto sighed loudly. "These…"

He walked up and ran his hand over the markings. Something clicked.

"It's a trap!" Naruto exclaimed.

Turo nodded in agreement.

"But…" He urged.

This caused Naruto to pause.

"But… they…" He looked to one side of the door where the seals went off the edge and seemed to collect around an indention. "They…"

Naruto's eyes bugged out. He looked at the other side. Everything was the same till it reached the edge of the door and then it began differing slightly, but still it pooled itself around a small indention.  
_  
'The door's seal is the same exact same till it goes off the edges to the two connecting seals on the side… then it… that means…'_

Naruto's mouth fell open and two words were uttered, "Holy fuck."

Turo grinned.

"Not the words I would use to describe it, not very holy at all, but still." He intoned.

"These are…"

"Yep."

"So... two?"

"Yes, two."

"Wow." Naruto looked at the seal with appreciation. "But people die, so they would have to change them every once and awhile."

"Oh of course, it would be quite tedious."

"Ummm…" the two seal-o-philes turned to a young man who was looking particularly confused. He suddenly blinked and hesitantly raised his hand.

"Yes?" Both Naruto and Turo said this before looking at each other, slightly weirded out. They snapped quickly back to the man.

"Umm, well. What exactly are you two…" he gestured vaguely at the door instead of forming a complete sentence.

Turo looked at Naruto with a grin that said 'Go ahead'.

"Oh well…" He pointed at the door. "This is a trap that will trigger if we push in this door and disconnect from one of the two outer seals."

Several of the people whipped out pads and some writing utensils and started making note of what Naruto was saying. This was incredibly strange to Naruto.

"And, well." He turned back to the seal. "The two connected-side seals are keyed to a specific chakra signature as far as I can figure."

The sound of scribbling paused. They all starred expectantly at Naruto.

"That means, uhhh." Naruto was beginning to feel particularly awkward. "Well it basically means that if the two specific people put their chakra into the small indentions they are suppose to, they will be safely disconnected from the trap seal and let you push in the door without dying."

There is a special face that Turo had become accustomed to in his years of taking youngsters on his expeditions. He affectionately refers to it as the "Ah ha!" face. Everyone in the hallway except him and Naruto had that face right then. It captures the moment perfectly, when the right blocks fall into place and things suddenly make sense. He loves that expression.

After an intense amount of scribbling, one female raised her pencil and bit her bottom lip, holding back a question.

This prompted Naruto to feel strange again as she looked to him for permission to ask the question.

He hesitantly pointed at her, his eyes shifting back and forth, searching for some insane thing. Some pink elephant that would inform him that, yes indeed, he was dreaming. He found no such thing.

"Sooo…" the girl had a soft voice and she nibbled on the end of her pencil. She pointed to one seal.

"That ones for one person and." She aimed at the other. "And that one another, so like…"

Another fellow piped up, "Two guardians?" He suddenly blushed like an embarrassed student who just interrupted class.

Turo finally decided to join the conversation, drawing all their attention from an appreciative Naruto.

"More like two keepers. I'm betting good money that there are important items behind that and you need the chakra signature of the two temple leaders to just access it."

Furious scribbling. Someones pencil broke and a sigh of frustration was emitted from somewhere in the group.

"Like Mr.Uzumaki mentioned, they would have to replace these seals when a leader died or stepped down. It's more proof of their ingenuity when it comes to seals crafting." Turo turned to Naruto with a grin, but found his back. Naruto himself was studying the seal and etching every strange jagged edge into his mind.

He walked up and stood beside the blonde boy.

"It's not what you are use to, eh?" Turo waggled his eyebrows and shook his head, still grinning.

"Nope…" He traced the edge of the seal in the air. "All these jagged edges are so… different."

"No doubt, a ton of today's sealing consists of elegant lines and spirals. That doesn't make it better necessarily. It is one of those trends I suppose. The reason I knew it was because I encountered a few similar ones in Bird Country."

Naruto rubbed his forehead, his eyes closed in thought before he mumbled, "I've got so much to learn."

Turo scoffed, "We all do. No one knows everything, just like no seal master knows every form of sealing ever created."

Naruto turned to him, slightly disgruntled, "Well I'm no seal master."

Turo scoffed, yet again.

"You're on your way to being one though, in a long line of prestigious Konoha seal masters." Turo barked a laugh. "Konoha, you lucky dog."

Naruto reeled back slightly, causing Turo to look at him.

"What? It's true. Konoha's got to be one of the luckiest villages." He said shaking his slightly. "I mean, they get the Niidaime, Jiraiya, the Yondaime if he had a little more time and then there's you."

Naruto was quite perturbed by this statement. Sure, they were gonna have him as Hokage and they were lucky for that… but was it because of his sealing skills?

"So… sealing's really that big of a deal in Konoha?"

"Oh!" Turo snorted slightly. "A big deal? Any Konoha-nin would fall head over heels for a seal master. Civilians less so, as they don't understand its application but the ninja have a lot of pride in their seal masters."

He tapped his foot for a moment in thought. "Actually, any village would kill for you. I know for a fact Iwa and Mizu would jump at the chance to steal away your allegiance in a few years time. It's one of the reasons Iwa lost the Third Great Shinobi War. Jiraiya's insane seal talents combined with the lesser ones of Tsunade and Orochimaru, they could just set up in an area and wait for literal battalions of Iwa-nin to come to their deaths. That's not even mentioning Mr.I-can-kill-you-and-everyone-around-you-Yondaime."

Naruto, for the first time in his short life, felt an incredible weight bearing down on him. He was part of a lineage of seal adepts. Seal adepts that other ninja adored and would kill for. Naruto felt something much greater than himself on his shoulders now.

He was to be a seal master. He was going to be in the history books, not only as the greatest Hokage of all time but also as the greatest seal master in existence.

_'The Great Seal Master Naruto Uzumaki.'_ He let that reverberate in his skull before grinning. "Awesome."

"Awesome indeed, Mr. Uzumaki." Turo slapped him on the shoulder. "Now how about we dismantle this seal that will mostly likely kill us if we mess up in the slightest?"

Naruto's grin only got wider as the crowd behind them paled.

* * *

There are many great truths in this world. What goes up must come down. When you play with fire, you're likely to get burned. And bringing marshmallows to a cremation or execution by burning is just plain rude… and kind of funny. Those are just a few such truths.

There are also many great illusions that present false truths. One of these fake truths, to most people who played against Naruto atleast, was that he was unbeatable in poker. For the most part, this is quite correct. But then there are certain people who test it. At that point Naruto becomes deeply imbedded in the game and actually starts using some skills he's picked up.

Then, it would take a divine act to take Naruto down… or something.

Naruto glanced up at his opponent. The little bastard sat their calmly, not even twitching. He hadn't even bothered to look directly at its cards yet, just using it's peripheral vision to check over them. This bothered Naruto greatly.

"So…" Naruto said as casually as possible, looking non-chalantly at his hand. He brought out a little slip of folded paper from his small pile of winnings, which included a pocket watch, a bottle of liquor from Kusa, two high quality sets of kunai from Suna and a tidy amount of money.

He held the paper up, taunting his opponent with it. "You want this don't you?"

The face betrayed nothing but the eye's told him yes.

"Well then, what do you think would be the appropriate price for this? I mean, it's pretty cool."

A moment of silence and thought. Finally the other player pushed forward the entirety of his pile. All in.

"Oh man, you really do want this back? You got lucky these last few games, but…" Naruto tried to coax a reaction one last time but was rewarded with nothing. Finally with small frown he laid the paper in the pot. "…You sure you want to part with all that pretty-pretty money?"

The face stayed expressionless, the eyes still staring straight ahead.

"Oh well, whatever," said Naruto with a shrug. He then fanned his cards out all the way." Show me what you got!"

Naruto laid out on the table, a six, seven, eight, nine and ten of hearts. A straight flush. Pretty good hand if he dared say so himself.

His opponents card's suddenly dropped, the chakra strings holding them in the air no longer being fueled. A standard flush was revealed. The defeated player turned to his side and shrugged at Toko who was sitting there, quietly beginning to sulk. Even mid-sulk, he was eating some teriyaki. Ochii turned to Naruto and nodded with respect at the well played game.

Naruto grinned as he scrapped in his winning. While he was doing so, the cat sashayed away, leaving Toko, Naruto and the small group who had watched the intense poker game. They were beginning to disperse though.

"It's not fair," Toko mumbled from where he laid on his side.

"Hey! You're the one who wanted to play poker!" Naruto retorted. "I mean, I carry around several decks of cards!"

"How was I suppose to know you would take most of my crap!"

"Well don't put up what you can't part with! And bringing in a cat to try and win your stuff back? That's sad." Naruto maturely stuck out his tongue.

"Well until now, Ochii's been one of the best poker playing cats in Suna."

"This ain't back alley blackjack, leave your cats at home! And I believe you owe me something." Naruto unfolded the slip of paper in his pile and stretched it out revealing the letters "One Free Jutsu".

"I knew I never should have bet that." Toko munched on his food, grumbling and looking dejected.

Naruto grinned wildly. "Don't feel too bad, you get to teach the future Hokage a jutsu."

Toko quirked an eyebrow, his back still to Naruto.

"Kid, it's not like I'll teach you anything Konoha doesn't have catalogued somewhere."

Naruto paused, considering his words.

"…Then that means you have something Konoha doesn't even know about?"

A finger flicked on Naruto's forehead. Toko wasn't slow by any means.

"Duh, I mean come on," Toko waggled his eyebrows and leaned in, as if to tell a joke. "I'm the awesome wind master Toko."

"Wind? You mean like the breeze? A breeze jutsu?" Toko's head twitched the side as Naruto casually blew off his pride and joy.

"A breeze? A** Breeze**?" Toko stood and turned to the side. He was looking directly out of the camp, away from any intelligent life forms. Several trees did stand in that direction though. "Let me show you a breeze!"

Toko's hands blurred into seals causing Naruto to lean back, wide eyed. He didn't often see strong ninja going through seals. His sensei knew a decent amount of jutsu but she didn't often use them. Toko's hand sealing was just insanely fast. Then again, he was probably a ninjutsu specialist so it's to be expected. Toko finished the hand seals in a split second.

He raised and his right hand in a sweeping motion above his head, bringing it down behind him. The fingers were closed together, making a point. A bunch of strange ethereal blue ribbons that Naruto recognized as wind streamed behind his hand.

While this was happening, his left foot slid forwards and he crouched down slightly. When his hand was near the bottom of his circular motion, he brought his hand forwards just as he left leg stretched out. The moment his right leg nearly lifted off the ground, he spun his hand, very quickly, at the last moment and simultaneously opening it.

"_Fuuton: Spiraling Wind Lance!"_

_Fuuton: Spiraling Wind Lance_ looked to be a very long, thin cone of rapidly spinning blue wind. It propelled itself quickly forwards, sending tendrils of slower air arcing off itself in a pretty display. It slammed directly into the one of the trees, barreling straight through. There was a large hole where the technique impacted. It drilled all the way through and continued to putter out but not before damaging a second tree with a large spiraling dent.

Naruto's mouth was open slightly, a dumbfounded looked had crawled onto his face.

Yuugao wearing what could only be described as armored pajamas nearly appeared out of thin air, her sword in her hand. She looked between an amazed Naruto and a triumphant looking Toko. She reached the logical conclusion before Toko could even turn around.

As she turned and walked away, she found both Harumi, Aya and Kiza coming towards the commotion.

Kiza was much more sedated, probably use to hearing Wind Jutsu but she came none-the-less .

Aya seemed particularly excited. "What was it sensei? An attack? Some action?" She was holding a kunai and biting her lip.

"No." Yuugao said dispassionately. "Men."

It's strange, but this was totally acceptable to all of the women present.

"Now, I don't know about you." Toko leaned over towards Naruto horizontally, not facing him. "But that was a bit more than a breeze."

"…You gotta teach me that."

"Yeeeaaaaa…." His face became expressionless. "No."

"What? Come on! That was cool."

"And that was just one of the lesser versions." Toko wagged his finger while grinning.

"…Please?"

"No."

"Come on, man. I'll give you back a set of kunai!"

"…Eh…" Toko stopped to think for a moment. He scratched his chin.

Hope gleamed in Naruto's eyes like that of a school girl who was looking at a pretty dress.

Toko popped the last bit of teriyaki into his mouth and pulled his scarf up. Naruto took this as a hopeful sign. Toko turned ever-so-slowly to Naruto, his face grave with importance.

"…No." Deadpan.

* * *

"Mr. Motou, I've searching looking for you." Turo heard a voice behind him say. He blinked for a moment, his face raising up from a rock he was examining. His head cranked around, cracking slightly.

The figure that stood above, on top of rock, him was blacked out, the sun sitting behind him and the rays radiating around him. From where Turo was he could discern the man wore a big cloak.

"That's good and all, but for what reasons?" Turo said as he stood.

"You've found something that me and my associates would be interested in…" Turo's eyes narrowed deftly as the business like, slightly slithery (but not slimy) voice paused. "..attaining."

"Oh." Turo smiled apologetically. "I'm afraid I don't sell too many of my finds and I am quite alright in the money department at the moment."

"Mr. Motou, I'm afraid you don't the severity of this." The man hopped down from the rock with great agility. His revealed face cause Turo great pause. "Let's talk."

Black.

Turo's eyes snapped open, sending the student that had been beside him to fall down to the ground. The aged archeologist sat up in his cot gingerly. He looked pointedly at the sprawled out student.

Turo reached over and turned the knob on a lamp, brining the burning wick back into prominence.

"S-sensei!" The brown haired student from the ground. The boy was slightly winded. "I was just about to wake you."

Turo cocked his head to the side.

"Oh really? At…" Turo glanced at the open flap to his tent. "This time of night?"

"Well, sir." He scratched the back of his head, slightly embarrassed. "I couldn't sleep and I decided to root around a little at that one little area off to the side and…"

The student took a deep breath and bounced for a second in excitement.

"I've found something."

Turo blinked for a moment, rubbing some sleep from his eye.

"Found something? What exactly? I believe it was a watch tower, so maybe some defensive weaponry."

"Err…" The student looked incredibly embarrassed again. "I kind of… don't know what it is."

Turo's eyes snapped open all the way, the sleeping being pushed back like a child.

"Oh my…" Turo stood with a grin. "Surprises are great things."

"Well, I can show you right now." The boy jumped up with bouncy excitement only a child in a candy store should have. "You want me to grab your gear?"

"Oh no, I'll just take the small kit for now." He walked to the edge of the small tent and grabbed a small pouch of excavation tools and strapped it around his belt. He slept in work cloths so that problem was null and void. After a second of searching, he grabbed the lantern as well."Now, lead away into the night!"

The student nodded, mirroring his teacher's grin.

As they were greeted by nights cold, brisk air, Turo stretched slightly.

They started off at a hurried pace, but didn't run. They were excited but there was no reason to exhaust oneself. Everyone else was tucked into their beds except for one of the members of Team 3 who was situated near the camp entrance with the rest of their team. But they were going in the opposite direction anyways, closer to the desert. They wouldn't even come into the ninja's line of sight. The student, during this trek, noticed something.

"Sensei." Turo snapped his head around.

"Yes?"

"Are you… ok? I mean, you're sweating a lot and it's pretty chilly tonight."

"Oh well, I was having a rather eventful dream before you awoke me."

The student's strides slowed and he turned his head, cocking it at the same time.

"A nightmare?" He queried.

"Nay…" Turo frowned slightly. "A recollection."

The student stared, slightly unnerved by his sensei's answer, as Turo sped up towards the remains of what was thought to be a fallen watch tower.

* * *

"Now this is peculiar." Turo said, his head being stuck through a hole in the floor.

"I know, that's exactly what I thought."

"I could have sworn this was a just a watch tower. It was in the pattern along the wall with the rest."

Turo removed his head and sat down. They were in the remains of a box shaped tower made of sand stone. There were many such towers along where they found trace remains of a wall. Turo could admit he gave them a cursory glance, considering the wealth of knowledge promised in the main structure.

The hole Turo had been inspecting was 4 by 4 feet. It seemed to be made to fall out with the right incentive, which happened long ago during it's inhabitance. A green moss that seeped into the surrounding buildings had lined the edges of the hole.

"Well, this just shows us that we should casually write off something, eh Fumio?"

"Yes, sir." The now named Fumio prepared to make a quick note but Turo waved him off as he picked up a small rock. He tossed it up once for good measure before letting it fall into the darkened hole. It didn't fall far at all and it seemed it wasn't a deep jagged hole, but more of a somewhat tall second story. "My boy, go fetch some rope and an extra lamp. I'll lower myself in while you do so, and then drop down using the rope. And hurry, you shouldn't miss this."

"Yes, sensei!" The boy saluted and quickly made his way back to camp.

Turo nodded and grinned at the young man as he dashed off. A moment later Turo had unhooked his belt and fastened one end to the lantern. Dropping the belt and lantern to scare away the dark, he took notice that while not very deep, it was fairly wide. He could see the three walls and the one other side led off into the darkness. He got a good holding onto the side of the hole. He slipped down, casually into it, until he was holding on to the edge with one arm and the other lower the lantern.

He let go of his belt, causing the lantern to fall down a short distance and safely land without breaking or smashing. Turo then himself let go and fell down, bracing his impact.

He grunted as he landed and figured that he wouldn't be able to do that in a few years. He swung his arms around in circles, hopping from one foot to the other, shaking away the fall.

"Now, now, now…" He picked up the lantern with a grin, reattaching his belt and supplies. He smiled, standing in the circle of light, surrounded by lurking shadows on the corridor walls. This is how he liked it. The rough and tumble style of archeology. Finding hidden passages, exploring dark nooks and crannies.

He held the lantern high and slowly walked off into the dark. He was careful, very much so. He kept watch for any traps that might be just out of sight and most certainly anything of interest. He soon realized that the corridor let straight back towards the temple. He quickly began counting his steps, judging just how far he had walked towards the main complex.

About one quarter of the way there, cuneiform started showing up. The art of words through pictures.

No one in their right mind would forgo trying to read it.

He crouched down, running his hands over work. He recognized nearly all of the symbols to his delight. They were the very same from the temple and he had encountered them in many artifacts from the desert people.

He paused though. He cocked his head to the side and brought both the lantern and his face close to the wall. He peered straight at one symbol. One he distinctly recognized… but there was something different about it.

He leaned back, glancing at the rest of the wall. The same symbol kept popping up. It was a simple circle that surrounded a diamond with elegantly slanted edges.

The thing that bothered him was that this symbol wasn't rare at all. It popped up frequently on things. A statue here, an animal skin there, some rock on occasion. It was one of the lesser known mysteries of the nomads of the desert.

It was unanimously decided by the historically interested crowd that it had to pertain to people or maybe even a good luck charm of sorts.

But never before had it popped up with such… frequency. It was everywhere on the wall, scattered about like breath on a pile of sand. This was important.

Like a fevered man, Turo began deciphering what of the wall he could.

He ran his hands over one line, his eyes squinting.

"Avatar." He said slowly, smoothing the word out in his mind. "Avatar? Avatar of…"

He snapped back.

"…the desert."

He blinked for a few moments and finally turned to look at the ancient walls.

"No…" He said through squinted eyes.

He suddenly took off at a racing pace, sprinting down the hall until he nearly ran into a fourth slab of stone.

On that stone wall, a deep, bigger etching of the same symbol stood. The lines were thin and the inside of it was bigger than the opening, making a cupping effect. At the top point of the diamond, stood a similar indention to the one Naruto and him encountered a few days before that funneled down into the top of the symbol. At the bottom, rather curiously, a hole laid at the bottom point. His teeth clenched together. He had a feeling…

He took in the rest of the wall. There were only three other symbols and they surrounded the larger reoccurring one in the shape of a triangle.

"Blood…" He said pointing at one that was shaped like a drop with scraggily lines flowing out the top, deciphering it instantaneously. He moved to the next one. "Open, obviously. Blood open? Open blood?"

He shook away the half completed translation and crouched down, bringing the lantern closer to the last cuneiform at the bottom.

He didn't recognize it. At all.

His eyes narrowed, drawing the object into his mind and pulling it apart. It was a circle with four lines arcing out of it, all pointing down wards.

"Open, blood, and…" He licked his lips, realizing they were slightly cracked. "Blood open…"

His eyes widened.

"Opens…"

He stood abruptly, drawing a small knife used for scraping away dirt and cutting through any small foliage with a delicate hand.

"Blood opens." He slide the knife down his thumb, starting a nice flow. He bent the thumb, pushing even more of his lifeforce to it.

After a moment, he pushed his thumb into the indention at the top of the symbol. His blood, running from the thumb, funneled down into the deep, cupped lines.

He watched with sick fascination as his blood outlined the symbol, almost making it glow with ethereal red power. His blood slid down and down until it stopped right at the hole, not willing to tip over into it. In stood, precariously, before the chasm before it's brothers behind it gathered up too much and it tipped over the edge.

The reaction was instant. The stone just fell right into a perfectly aligned slot, leaving the lantern to pierce into the darkness before Turo.

Turo squeezed his thumb, stopping the blood flow for the moment.

"Alright Turo…" He took a deep breath. "Let's see what the rabbit hole has in store for us."

And with that, holding in one hand his bloody thumb and the other, with only his four fingers, the lantern, he stepped into the darkened room.

* * *

"Oh sensei! I'm so sorry I'm late, I had to look for rope and I asked that one ninja guy for some and he asked why and when I said I needed it for something with you." Inhale. "He looked at me funny but… what happened?"

Fumio was holding up an extra lantern and had several implements strapped to his character making a rather comical sight. He came upon his sensei, mid way through the tunnel, he was holding his thumb and his face was tight and he looked a mostly expressionless. There was a slight undertone of anger though.

"I got hurt." Turo said dispassionately. "We need to go get a bandage."

"Oh, yes of course!" The excited student said, looking at the thumb intently, noting the blood. "Do you want me to start down there?"

Turo immediately answered, "No!"

Fumio shrunk back.

"Sir?"

Turo sighed.

"It's collapsed."

"Oh, well we can get the others and-"

"No. It's collapsed deeply and it's not safe to be in here."

"Uhh…"

"Fumio, it's best if you don't mention this. It's pointless to really." Turo smiled slightly, the edges of it tight with force. "No need to disappoint them when there is nothing down here except rocks."

"No writings?"

"None."

"Oh…" Fumio looked greatly let down. His first big discovery and it was nothing. "Well… ok then."

"Don't worry, boy. It's for the best." He lightly reached and patted him on the shoulder. Turo began walking back towards the entrance. Turo said, not even looking back, "Come on Fumio, my boy."

Fumio starred at his sensei back for a moment, hurt and disappointed. Slowly though, he wandered up till he was positioned by Turo.

Turo stared straight ahead, his face might as well have been made of the same material that surrounded them.

* * *

_**AN: What's in there? Who knows. Maybe some almonds. **_

_**Though that's unlikely. **_

* * *


End file.
